Sex is like money, only too much is enough ~John Updike

Humans are curious creatures, and with curiosity comes experimentation. While some people like to experiment with science, careers, tools, or any other human idiosyncrasy, some of us like to experiment sexually. 

Our aim might be to spice up a dull sex life or just to enjoy the moment, the reasons always unique to yourself, and more often than not a threesome is the chosen path to do this. 

Most people choose a threesome as their way to add a little spice to their boring sex life. But the question always arises, “how to find a threesome partner?”. Now, this has to be the biggest hurdle in your desire to have a threesome, but as always, V for Vibes has you covered. 

Consent of Existing Partner:

Consent, in any case, is critical; your current partner needs not just to understand your need to have a threesome, but should be completely on board with the idea as well. 

It is important to establish trust with your current partner so they know where your head is at in all this. Without your partner on board the idea of being a part of a threesome, having a threesome altogether might as well be considered infidelity. 

The Type of Person You’re Looking For:

Once you and your current partner have come to an understanding of the dynamic and consent has been given from both sides, you can now move on towards the type of partner you’re looking for in the quest of how to find a threesome partner. 

This includes whether you’re looking for a male or a female as your third partner. This also includes the style and personality of the person you decide to choose as your threesome partner. 

It is understood that it is not easy to ask random people for a threesome, and that’s why we’re here to help, and it is also a known characteristic that threesome sex is different from partner swap. So you won’t be looking for another couple, and instead, you will seek an individual.

To better understand how to ask for a threesome, you and your current partner should jot down some traits you want or which are off-limits in the threesome partner you are looking for. 

Doing this will automatically cut down half the people from the pre-existing list of those you might have in mind for whom you want to ask for a threesome. Develop ground rules with your partner, not just about the third partner but between yourselves, to save you trouble. 

How Will You Decide to Choose a Partner? 

Through dating apps and social media:

We live in the age of technology, and it always comes in handy when dealing with sexual stuff, whether you like it or not. Use the means of technology to your advantage. We have tons of dating sites like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, AdultFriendFinder, Hinge, etc. 

You can always log on to one of these dating sites and look for other people who, like you, are trying to find a threesome sex partner. This is an easy way to find like-minded people. 

Apart from using dating apps, other social media sites can be used for this purpose. For example, people have WhatsApp groups where they exchange information regarding themselves or other people who might want to be a part of a threesome. There are Facebook groups developed solely for finding a suitable partner for having threesome sex. Apart from these, there are subreddits where it is very easy to find like-minded partners willing to have a threesome with unknown people to carry out this no-strings-attached scenario. 

Involving a trustworthy friend:

Other ways on how to find a threesome partner might include asking a trustworthy friend to do it. This might make things complicated in the long term, but if there is someone in your sight that you believe your partner would be okay to have a threesome with, you can slowly introduce your friend to the concept and ask them their opinion about inviting them into the fold.

The old-fashioned way:

While living in the current age and approaching this issue through a dating app or a social group is seemingly easy and flexible, it may be difficult, and chances are you might as well get scammed in the name of a threesome.

This point is for people who believe in the old-fashioned way of going out and looking for their kind of person. 

Many people come to a bar to hook up and get laid. You can totally take advantage of the situation and ask them if they are willing to have a threesome. You might want to approach this topic carefully as it may give you a weird image and make the other person uncomfortable, but regardless, it is one of the most classic and time-tested methods.

Flirting as a couple:

Many people make the mistake of not introducing their partner to the person they intend to have a threesome with beforehand. While the element of surprise is exciting, you also have to make sure you don’t make either your partner or the other person uncomfortable. 

To avoid this from happening, whether you are using an app or even if you are willing to approach people at a bar in person, it is advised to make sure you flirt with the person as a couple by complimenting them equally and slowly introducing them to the idea of a threesome. Work to constantly monitor their reactions and expressions so you have a better understanding of whether they are comfortable with you both flirting with them or not. 

The Role of the Third Partner:

As formerly established, consent is essential. The other most important thing that you should consider is your level of willingness and what to give to your third partner. 

A threesome is all about sex and pleasure, but as a person, there will always be boundaries to be established. The involvement of a third person should be discussed between you and your partner and the person that will be your choice for a threesome. 

It is vital to understand the person and what they are getting into while they agree to play as your third partner. While people may think it is a turn-off to establish boundaries when everything is about having casual sex, it may lead to some unwanted drama and mess. This drama can solely be avoided if you make rules and discuss it with both your current partner and the person you choose to have a threesome with.

Setting Limits in Bed:

This is a critical point in how to ask for a threesome topic and should be discussed beforehand; first, discuss whether the threesome has MFM or FFM members. Once it is established, you can discuss the limits in bed. 

These limits include the hetero or homosexual points of view. Whether all the partners involved are on board with heterosexual and homosexual approaches, or if any of the partners involved in the threesome are opposed to homosexuality, or if they are okay with everything except one thing- if so, make it off-limits. 

Ask about Kinks or Fetishes:

It is not uncommon for people to have kinks or fetishes. Some people have extreme fetishes and kinks, which again should be discussed beforehand, and if any of the partners is not on board with one of the kinks or fetishes, it shouldn’t be considered during the threesome. 

Discuss easy to memorize safe words even if you are not going to use kinks in the bedroom; this will help you in a situation where one of the partners is uncomfortable, and they can use this word as a way out of it without making it awkward for the other two participants. 

Discuss Mental Stability and Emotional Wellness:

Another factor to check while selecting a partner is to ask about their emotional wellness and to allow them to understand the dynamic of this threesome. This will include whether you and your partner want a sex-only relationship, or are you okay with emotions being involved, and whether your chosen partner is okay with this dynamic. 

In the end, in the quest of how to find a threesome partner, you should understand; sex, especially threesomes, is all about pleasure. Understanding your body and both of your partners’ bodies, their weak points, and what turns them on, is the key to success in finding the right threesome partner. Make sure you ask what you are doing is giving them both pleasure and that you too are getting pleasure out of it, as a threesome is never a one-sided street.