words of affirmation love language

The Words of Affirmation Love Language.

There’s a lot of truth in saying that all you need is love. But do you know what type of love your partner needs the most? It could be the words of affirmation love language that communicates how much you care and appreciate your loved one. Keep reading to find out more.


What Is Words of Affirmation Love Language?


According to the concept of a pastor and author Gary Chapman, humans can receive and give love through one of the five love languages: physical touch, an act of service, gifts, quality time, and finally, words of affirmation. While it’s possible to appreciate and express love relying on all these languages, a person typically has one primary love language that speaks to them the most. And in the case of words of affirmation, this has quite a literal meaning.


People whose main love language is words of affirmation tend to value words more than actions. They feel good when their partner notices they bought new clothes or had a haircut and love compliments. But more than anything, they appreciate receiving genuine validation and support that makes them feel cared for. 


How To Tell If My Partner’s Love Language is Words Of Affirmation?


 1. They always offer you a word of encouragement.


People who like expressing their love through words of affirmation are often those who need the same in return. If your partner often supports you verbally and showers you with compliments, it might be a sign they’d appreciate words of encouragement from you too. 


 2. They’re struggling.


While words alone might not fix your partner’s problems, mental support can go a long way. Knowing there’s someone who has their back can lift their mood and improve their resilience as a result. 


 3. Their self-esteem isn’t high.


There’s no shame in needing reassurance in addition to mental support. Being told that they’re appreciated and good enough can help your partner feel better about themselves and encourage them to focus on their strengths instead of flaws. 


4. They care what other people think.


If your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, chances are they also pay attention to negative comments. If your partner tends to overthink what other people say about them, it might mean they value words above everything else. 


 5. They took an online test.


If you can’t tell what makes your partner feel the most loved, you can always ask them to complete one of the quizzes online, and you’ll have a definite answer. 

words of affirmation love language

How To Use Words of Affirmation With Your Partner?


There isn’t one magical sentence that will fulfill all your partner’s needs, but you can learn how to express your love with words if you follow these steps: 


1. It’s all about small details.


While actions speak louder than words, some people need to be told they’re appreciated loud and clear. If you want to learn affirmative love language, you have to learn how to notice little things your partner does for you first. For example, you might show gratitude by thanking them for washing the dishes or keeping their voice down when you’re having a nap. You might learn how to compliment your partner more and pay attention to their food and clothing. Noticing small things communicates to your partner that you’re attuned to their feelings and recognize their concern for you. 


Here are words of affirmation love language examples to help you get started:


 – Thank you for being so thoughtful and doing the laundry

 – You’re the best

 – You always know how to cheer me up

 – I love when you look at me like that

 – This outfit looks really good on you

 – I’m proud of you

 – I’m lucky to have you

 – I appreciate the things you do for me 

 – You’re an amazing person, and I’m glad I met you 


 2. Develop empathy.


One of the main goals of words of affirmation love language is to motivate your partner and increase their sense of self-worth. While you can’t be the one who keeps their self-esteem at a reasonable level, you can offer them encouragement that might mean the world to them and give them enough motivation to work on self-improvement. To learn when to offer words of encouragement:


  • Focus on developing empathy first.
  • Start by paying attention to your partner’s body language and facial expressions to recognize when they’re feeling down and need your support.
  • Whenever they share something upsetting that has happened to them, try to see things from their perspective and be a good listener; ask follow-up questions and don’t interrupt them. The tone of voice can tell you a lot, too – don’t always trust words alone because your partner might not want to unload their problems on you.


While your partner might love offering you support when you’re having a crisis, sharing their thoughts might sometimes make them feel like a burden. 

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 3. Improve your communication skills.


Words of affirmation often involve acknowledging your partner’s efforts when you’re working towards improvement together. For example, during intercourse, it means praising your partner for touching you the right way and listening to your tips. The more you’re vocal about what your partner does right, the more comfortable you become with expressing your needs which strengthens your relationship. 


 4. Let your love guide your actions.


As cliché as it sounds, sometimes all you have to do is let the love guide you. In order words, become more comfortable with expressing it towards your partner. Words can be more intimate than a touch, but if words of affirmation are the most important among all love languages to your partner, you should learn to be comfortable with vulnerability. Don’t try to memorize empty phrases and be genuine instead. You can refer to the words of affirmation love language examples mentioned above for inspiration and make them more individualized for your partner. It takes practice if you aren’t used to opening up, but it will eventually become a habit as long as you’re determined enough. And you don’t always have to say these things out loud either. Leaving your partner notes is as effective and maybe even cuter way to let them know what they mean to you. If you aren’t a big texter, you can also try to use this form of communication more and surprise your partner with a compliment or words of support. However, don’t try to overuse it because it might come across as fake. Just go with the flow. 


 5. Tell them you love them often.


The only exception to the ‘try not to overuse it’ rule is telling your partner you love them. Who doesn’t like being told they’re loved? It’s not only a sentence that can reassure your partner that you still care about them but a way to show appreciation for them as a person, regardless of what they do for you. You can easily sneak “I love you” into a morning conversation and put them in a good mood for the rest of the day or say it to them completely out of the blue. It can brighten your partner’s day in just any context.