Have you found yourself wondering, why do men fall asleep after sex? And does it leave you unsure of how to take it – is it an insult or a compliment? What could it possibly mean when your man chooses to doze off while you’re awake and left thinking about how great a time you had during that sexual encounter? 

These are all questions we’ve asked ourselves time and again, and women everywhere seem to be wondering, why does this keep happening? We’re here to help you figure it out and provide some reasoning for the question you’ve had on your mind for a while now. Keep in mind that this might not apply to every single person out there, and perhaps you and your partner should discuss the implications of him falling asleep after sex if it bothers you enough. Sex talk and communication are the keys to a healthy and sustained relationship; whether you’re just starting out or have been together for what seems like forever, talking to your partner about how you feel is really important! You can convey your issues and then work together towards finding solutions so that both of you are in a happier, loving, and fulfilling relationship with each other. 

He feels Comforted 

While it might not make sense right off the bat, a lot of men find intense amounts of comfort laying down next to their partners after sex. Of course, this is not just a physical sensation but chemically, too. He feels much more at peace and calmer right after all the tension leaves his body through an orgasm, and he is able to kick back and call it a day with you. 

Especially if you and your partner have connected on several levels of the different types of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy, he might feel like his best self right after sex. This is because sex can be a great mood lifter and can really help with achieving a higher self-esteem, after which one is bound to feel more content and happier in general. These elevated moods can be very bolstering, or those who have trouble falling asleep otherwise – a sense of calm will eventually help him drift off to sleep feeling much more fulfilled and comforted than he did at the start of the day. So if you are asking why do men fall asleep after sex, it might be as simple as a genuine comfort!

There are Feel Good hormones involved.

When you have sex, there are often chemical reactions that occur in the brain that allow one to feel pleasure or excitement to be aroused. The chemical reactions release “feel good” hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, which can aid sleep and peace in the body. Your partner might be experiencing a release of either of these feel-good hormones that can allow him to feel much calmer and drift off to sleep when an orgasm breaks the high tension, and falling asleep after sex, for this reason, is common. 

His brain is chemically allowing him to feel the comfort you present in the physical environment, too, so it may not necessarily be as insulting as you think it is. In fact, it is a sign of him feeling content and satisfied enough for his brain to release oxytocin and serotonin for him to fall asleep right after sex. What could be a better compliment than that? That someone feels loved, cared for, and at peace with you! 

Cut him some slack and consider the chemical reactions happening in his body and mind. Perhaps he wanted to stay awake but couldn’t help the chemical changes in his body that induce sleep. 

Maybe he’s not a Talker. 

Another reason your partner might not be staying up to talk to you after sex is because he just isn’t someone who talks too much. Especially if this is one of the first times you two are sleeping together, it can be overwhelming for new people and often quite difficult to feel fully comfortable in the new company’s presence. 

Perhaps he just fell asleep because he was tired, had good sex, and there wasn’t much else to do. In this situation, if you plan on seeing your partner for longer, the best option would be to talk to your partner about what you’d like to do after you two have sex. Suggest that you stay up and cuddle or talk, or maybe even watch something together before you fall asleep.

If you find it difficult to come up with topics that both of you enjoy discussing, you can give reading a shot. Try to read texts you enjoy or books that your partner would be interested in and bond over what you read together. One of you could even read aloud to the other and take this moment to strengthen your relationship, thus working on the needs you have and making it entertaining enough for him to want to stay awake. Either way, talking to your partner and communicating your needs is a great way to get what you want because, more often than not, our partners can’t automatically assume what we want. 

Cuddles can induce sleep. 

One reason he might be dozing right after sex is if you have all the lights switched off and have set up an environment perfect for falling asleep in. Add cuddles to the mix, and you’ve got an irresistible invitation and a definitive reason as to why do men fall asleep after sex. If you’re trying to keep him awake, though, maybe leave a lamp on in the room, or try a night light that can illuminate some parts of the room without it being completely dark. Invest in good mood lighting that can really set the tone for sex while allowing room for your partner to stay awake. Play some tunes that set the vibes right but won’t induce falling asleep after sex.

His body is tired 

Remember that above everything else, sex is a bodily experience that relies heavily on energy and physically moving around and putting effort into it. If you want to make sex even more of a workout, visit our article “The Best Sex Positions For Fitness and Workout Sex Exercises”.

After sex, your body enters what is called the “refractory” period allowing your muscles to take a break from that short but intense workout they were involved in a short while ago. 

This intense muscle movement requires a period of time following it to be able to relax, catch your breath, and let your body return to a state of calm and rest before you fall asleep. A hormone called prolactin is also released that allows the body to fully relax and let go of all the tension that has built up in the body leading up to the orgasm. The orgasm is the actual trigger for prolactin to be released so that the body and the muscles that have tensed up in the process of sex are able to let loose and fall back into a state of rest instead of working constantly. 

This is why a strong wave of tiredness and exhaustion takes over right after you engage in sexual acts – it is your body’s way of telling you that it needs to rest and take a break to be able to recover from the energy you have spent doing the act, and this often leads to falling asleep after orgasm.

It might not always be insulting to have your partner fall asleep right after sex. In fact, it could even be taken as a compliment should you choose to see it that way, as sex and sleep are all too related. However, if it bothers you and you cannot reconcile the feelings between intense emotion and falling asleep, we highly recommend talking to your partner about it!