Do you feel pleasure in seeing other people have sex? Do you become sexually aroused when you collide with any sexual stimulus in public? Do you receive satisfaction by peeping at the naked opposite (or same) gender or others who are engaged in sexual activity?
If your answer is yes for any of the above asked questions, then you technically fall under the term of being a ‘voyeur’, and you are involved in the act of voyeur sex, or ‘voyeurism’.
If you have ever wondered if voyeurism is a part of your sexual identity or one of your kinks, then stick around, as we will highlight everything you need to know about voyeurism in this blog!
Voyeurism Meaning
Voyeurism is the act of spying on people who are not dressed, who are naked, or who are engaging in sexual behaviors.
The person who is spying on those in their private space is the voyeur, and a voyeurs experience with sex is different in the way that he/she is not having sex themselves, and are instead noticing it, hearing, and watching the behavior as a means to attain their own form of sexual satisfaction.
When someone is engaged in a form of sexual activity, such as peeping at a naked woman, this process releases a hormone called “dopamine” in the brain, which is responsible for creating the emotion of pleasure and forming the desire to have sex.
This feeling is exactly why voyeurs love doing what they do, as it creates a form of sexual high that they crave and pursue.
Is Watching Pornography Voyeurism?
Although most people do not count watching adult films as voyeurism,
Dr. Jill McDevitt, a sexologist, once said that watching porn is part of voyeurism, and many others agree.
So yes, by technicality, watching adult films is voyeurism. While experiencing adult content or pornography on screens, we, in turn, become sexually aroused to perform the same activity by ourselves to feel pleasure. Because we are watching others perform this act, this statement becomes somewhat valid as a form of voyeurism.
Good vs. Bad Voyeurism
There is a good, and there is bad voyeurism. The difference is significant, especially if you are a person who enjoys the act of being a voyeur.
Good voyeurism is when whatever you are doing (peeping into her room while she is undressing or secretly making a video when she is masturbating) is being communicated to the victim or done with her consent. You can still receive plenty of pleasure this way, and it ensures that voyeurism is done safely and legally between all involved.
That, and this form of good voyeurism may also benefit the other partner, as it provides them an opportunity to show off, and many enjoy the feeling of being wanted (so much so that someone is willing to spy on you!).
Bad voyeurism is when you look at her secretly and entirely without her permission or knowledge when she is in her private space and undressing herself, masturbating, or indulging in sexual behavior with another person.
Such acts are considered criminal offenses with punishments should you get caught.
This form of illegal voyeurism is also referred to as a disorder, a mental disease that disturbs a relationship or married life. When a partner chooses to see the other partner, or someone else, secretly while undressing, taking a bath, or masturbating without mutual consensus, this creates difficulty to overcome barriers.
The other partners may not accept voyeurism and feel ashamed of being noticed while being naked or embarrassed that their other half would do such a thing; hence, they both start avoiding each other.
After being involved in voyeurism, people are sexually aroused, and they want to have sex in order to satisfy their need for sexual pleasure, and this is called a fetish.
Voyeurism is a fetish owing to the occurrence of sexual desires in a person in effect to any stimulus, here the stimulus being watching others. But if watching others is all you did, then it technically is not a fetish, as you do not reach a sexual climax.
A fetish includes the strong desire to reach complete sexual satisfaction. Voyeurism is a state when someone feels sexuality by seeing sexual behavior secretly, and becomes a fetish when they do things to then climax themselves.
Couples Voyeurism
Voyeurism is the process of peeping into someone’s room when he or she is doing sexual activity.
Sometimes, even couples practice voyeurism with each other by involving role-play scenarios of this type of kink and do so by putting mirrors in the room, recording their sex life with a camera, or allowing their partner to spy on them unknowingly.
In this process, partners get passionate about making love by seeing their partner by themselves, as this void creates a unique desire for connection. Sound like something you want to try?
Role-play
To experience fake voyeurism, one partner tells the other partner to undress in another room so that he or she can peep through a window, a crack in the door, or keyhole of the door to secretly watch, and some even practice solo masturbation while doing so as a form of foreplay.
Putting Mirrors in the Room
For another way to relish sexuality of themselves, some chose to put mirrors in different angles of the room from where they can have a prominent view of their bodies while having sex with each other.
They imagine that they are peeping in someone’s private space, relishing their naughty sex behaviors, making them passionate to love each other more vigorously than earlier, regardless of the fact that the people in the mirrors are reflections of themselves.
It’s all about catering to your kinks, and by throwing some mirrors in the room, you can do just that in a manner that is safe, legal, and with the consent and understanding of your other half!
Recoding by camera
The latest version of the previous technique is to set up a camera instead of mirrors in the room in order to record their own beautiful moments of making love and having sex.
The recorded video is utilized later for watching and enjoying the sex behavior of themselves to experience voyeurism in this form.
Acceptance of Voyeurism
If you are in a relationship, and voyeurism is something you enjoy, then you should absolutely make it known to your partner so that they can work with you to satisfy this kink and do so in a way that is also comfortable to them. Because hey, kinks are totally normal!
The first step to begin addressing voyeurism is to start a conversation with your partner. Such conversation is called sex talk, and they are essential aspects of healthy relationships.
By sharing likes, dislikes, and expectations, this will make it easier for you to truly understand one another and your deepest desires.
Your sex talk should be productive and enjoyable in order to make your partner feel comfortable, so make a date out of it and pour yourselves a nice glass of wine while you dig into your minds.
Couples should initiate talking about their sexual fantasies earlier in their relationship as the expectations this way can be clear, concise, and free from surprises.
These conversations indeed establish trust among the partners, which ultimately lead to better results in feeling comfortable with sexual discovery.
Eventually, you will be able to recognize when your partner is feeling a certain way, and you will then direct your sex accordingly so that pleasure is at its highest for both sides. But the key is to ensure that each person’s kinks are catered to equally! If you enjoy voyeurism, and your partner is willing to let you, spy, then hear them out on what they enjoy and be willing to make similar sacrifices.
Although you can rub this off as not being romantic, the truth is that this is more romantic than anything, as nothing is more special than being able to become our true sexual selves with our loved ones.
In a nutshell, voyeurism has been within the nature of humans for nearly all of history, and it is a completely normal and fun kink!
The voyeur is participating in good voyeurism when the victim knows it, and is involved in bad voyeurism when the victim does not know about it.
So if you’re going to practice voyeurism, just be a good voyeur by talking with your partner and you will enjoy this turn-on even more than before.