Subtle winks, revealing clothing, a gentle hand at our waist- when we think of the art of seduction, we all have a pretty clear image that comes to mind. The truth is many seductive traits are hard to make concrete. Which is fair; it’s hard to think clearly when your body is alerting you to a sexy opportunity. But let’s break it down with a clear mind, what is seduction, and how can we use it in our lives and relationships? And furthermore, how is seduction shifting with our changing times? Jump in and figure out how you can enhance your art of seduction and bring new fun to your sex life and beyond. 

Physical Appearance Seduction

When people think of sexy seduction, how someone presents themselves physically tends to be what they think of first. Think of Tinder; no amount of bio can compensate for a lack of profile picture. We swipe on what we see first and foremost. Everything from how you dress to how you do your makeup can invite a prospective partner. The conventional signs of physical seduction are revealing clothing and a lot of jewelry or makeup that makes it clear to others you’re “ready for connection”. 

In fact, entire industries have been made to accommodate our desires to seduce one another with our physical appearance. While beauty and makeup brands can also be a way for us to feel good about how we look, they’ve also been marketed as tools to get others to notice us. Is your guy not paying attention to you? Maybe a lip plumper, or a lengthening mascara, or a miraculous new shapewear can come to your rescue. 

The future of physical seduction? Well, it looks a little bit different. We’re moving away from one predefined way to look good. Gone are the templates of “How to Look Hot”. From blonde highlights to blue buzz cuts, people are simply attracted to a wider variety of physical traits. The most seductive way to be seen these days physically is to be confident. It may not be a ton of makeup. It also could very well be a ton of makeup. There’s simply not a right answer. 

The key to modern seduction is to authentically be yourself and own it just as you are. When we release into our true selves and allow ourselves to be seen physically for exactly how we want– that level of confidence is sexy. If you can take a deep breath into your own skin and just let yourself show up to the world, you’ll be magnetic beyond belief. Self-love comes first. The art of seduction always starts with seducing yourself. 

Body Language Seduction

Beyond what our body looks like, how they physically move through the world is also pertinent. The art of seduction includes how our bodies appeal to others when they shimmy, shake, or saunter across the room. Traditionally those who move their bodies more are more seductive, which makes sense. People who are confident feel better about moving their bodies in interesting ways. Sadly, that’s also meant sexual harassment and non-consensual touch.  

Today’s sexy seduction body language? It’s very similar to how it was in years past but with consent. There’s nothing wrong with getting handsy as long as you and the person who you’re touching are into it. Consent doesn’t have to be a mood killer either. A simple, “Mmm… do you like it when I touch you like that?” can be sexy, seductive, and respectful. 

If you’re ready to integrate the art of seduction into your body language, get used to feeling good in your own skin. Consider going to the gym, walking, doing yoga, or dancing. Forget the need to look a certain way for your body to feel good moving around. Get loose and stretch out. When you’re more comfortable moving around in your body, it will show in the way you move with others in the world.

Verbal Seduction

Talking about the art of seduction simply wouldn’t be complete if we omitted the enchantment of seductive talk. There are two crucial aspects of verbal seduction: the words themselves and how you say them. And when both come together, people can get really turned on. In fact, 90% of people say that dirty talk is a surefire way to get them going. 

Conventionally people who use seductive talk share their desires with flowery language and euphemisms. Consider the romantic (and smutty) novels of our time. Groins thrusting and magical spaces blooming with pleasure- the sexy rhetoric of our recent past had a knack for saying things without saying things. It relies on a certain amount of non-disclosure to enchant you into wanting to hear more. 

People also used to integrate the art of seduction into their speech patterns differently than they do now. In the past, verbal seduction was less about being heard and more about getting the other party to lean in closer to listen. Low, raspy voices or whispers seemed to rule the scene. 

Nowadays, the art of seduction looks a bit different. As we’ve grown less shameful of our interest in sex, we’ve become more brazen and bold when we talk. Asking for things in direct and assertive terms is often found more attractive than the whispers of the past. Instead of using old-fashioned romance novel words, many are using fewer words to convey more. Today’s generation doesn’t think the art of seduction needs to be any different from how they connect at other times. In fact, a simple winky face emoji in a text chain can sometimes tell a whole story in itself. 

The Art of Seduction: Less lipstick, more therapy?

So at the end of the day, what is seduction? When we consider all the shifts in the modern art of seduction, the consistent thread is that confidence and assertive presence. When we feel best with ourselves, our sexy, seductive sides come out without even having to try so hard. The truth is, the art of seduction is less of an art form at all and more a way of being. Sexy isn’t a performance you can take on and off. The second someone is “trying” to be seductive, odds are they aren’t anymore. We see through the pretense these days. And if you’re stuck trying to be something for someone else, odds are both you and them will be unhappy in the long run. 

Real, sexy seduction is being exactly who you are and showing up for yourself sexually in your appearance, words, and actions. And it’s ok if this doesn’t happen overnight. Learning to love yourself is no quick fix. The new art of seduction is a long process of learning to love yourself and share that self-enjoyment with the world honestly and authentically. It may not be lipstick, and it may be therapy. It could mean masturbation, or writing, or trying on a new look or hairstyle. Self-actualization isn’t a final destination. It may even be just learning to enjoy the process of playing around with your own sexy identity to find what you love. Real seduction can’t be manufactured. It’s worth taking the time to know yourself so you and your loved ones can meet the real, sexy you.