Sexual tension is a magnetic feeling that involves a lot of anticipation and temptation. Learn more about what it feels like and how to deal with it to utilize it to the most significant potential.
What Is Sexual Tension And What Does Sexual Tension Feel Like?
Do you know how you get butterflies in your stomach when you’re talking to your crush? Sexual tension feels similar, except it often extends to your crotch and the need to get physically close to them is overwhelming. You pay attention to their touch, and your conversations turn flirty. Every gaze, every smile, and reaction is amplified. You can’t wait to see what happens next. It’s not only exciting but also satisfying as it makes you feel desired and powerful. This is the kind of sexual tension that you want and should experience at least once in your life.
What Are The Different Kinds of Sexual Tension?
1. With a stranger
Do you ever just find yourself locking your eyes with a stranger, and even though there are other people around, it feels like it’s just the two of you? Even if you don’t, you probably know all about these kinds of moments from romantic comedies. Believe it or not, these things happen in real life too. It’s not necessarily eye contact, either. It could be an accidental touch that feels like electricity moving through your body. Sexual tension with a stranger is like an instant connection. It can also be something more straightforward, for example, if you’ve been dancing with someone at the club for a while and feel your pulse rising and tingling in your crotch.
2. With a lover
Sexual tension with your lover happens when you’re drawn to each other, even if your interaction isn’t sexual. You might feel like the air just got heavier and as if your bodies were a magnet that’s being pulled towards each other. Since it’s a tension with someone you already know, it’s usually a strong type of attraction that makes you want to rip their clothes off because you already know how well your bodies work together. It might be the most pleasurable type of sexual tension, too, as it’s easy to relieve.
3. Positive sexual tension
Positive sexual tension is the perfect foreplay that makes relationships more exciting and sex more satisfying. It can be a tension felt with a stranger or a partner. Building anticipation can increase the connection between you and the other person and amplify the sensations, making sex a lot more worthwhile.
4. Negative sexual tension
It’s the kind of tension no one really wants to experience. This can be a sexual attraction you feel towards someone you’ve just met even though you’re in a committed relationship. Or if that someone is your employee, cousin, etc. – anything that makes a good porn scenario is likely not good for you. It can also be tension felt by someone who’d been assaulted in the past and became sex-repulsed. If it’s paired with any negative feelings such as shame and guilt, it means it’s a negative type of tension.
Negative tension can also be defined as sexual frustration – in other words, a sexual tension that leads nowhere. And if you’re on the receiving end, negative sexual tension can refer to harassment.
Why Is It Important To Build Sexual Tension in A Relationship?
Sexual tension heightens your arousal, especially if it’s paired with sensual foreplay such as sexting or striptease. It adds to the excitement and keeps things entertaining between you and your partner. The longer you postpone becoming physical with someone, the more intense the action will feel. Plus, having exciting sex might keep your relationship healthier when the honeymoon phase fades.
How To Build Sexual Tension?
1. With a stranger
– Tell them you want him with your eyes
– Play with your hair while talking to him
– Wear sensual clothing
– Be flirty – joke around and tease him
– Make innuendos
– Stay close and initiate sexual contact
– Be confident
– Engage all his senses
– Use compliments
– Keep the conversation light
– Delay sexual activities
– Delay goodbyes
2. With a partner
– Tease your partner
– Try sexting – send sexy pics and flirt
– Experience sex without touch
– Try dirty talk
– Surprise him
– Prolong the tension
– Improve your foreplay
How To Avoid Negative Sexual Tension From Other People?
Some people might misinterpret the way you interact with them. While you’re not responsible for what they might be thinking or how they react to you, here are some ways to keep yourself safer from negative sexual tension (harassment):
- If you want to signal you aren’t interested, make sure your body language agrees; turn your knees away from them and avoid playing with your hair. You can also mention that you’re in a committed relationship.
- Avoid going to secluded places with a stranger even if you’d told them you weren’t interested.
- If you notice the other person is acting flirty, make your intentions clear or mention your partner.
- Have a safety plan. For example, keep your phone handy and tell your friends where you are.
How To Avoid Experiencing Negative Sexual Tension (Sexual Frustration)?
Sexual tension doesn’t have to lead to sex. However, it might feel unfulfilling if nothing happens with the object of your desire. Here’s what to do to keep your desire at bay:
1. Distract yourself
The intensity you’re experiencing feels pretty good. However, there are other ways to get a dopamine rush. Engage in an exercise or complete your to-do list. Even the smallest accomplishment might feel satisfying enough.
2. Take a cold shower
Do the thoughts of that particular person consume you, but you really want to regain your focus? A cold shower should do the trick. If you’re in a public place, just splash your face with water.
3. Set boundaries
If you work with someone you’re attracted to, make it clear that you’re in a relationship or not in a good place to date/have casual relations with someone. You can either mention it in a conversation or try not to spend too much time with that person one on one. Avoid tempting situations and don’t contact them outside of work.
4. Focus on your passions
Lust is basically passion, so why not shift your attention to something productive? If you already have a hobby, focus on developing your skills and perhaps starting a new project, and if you don’t, sign up for a class and learn a new skill.
5. Evaluate if it’s worth it
Instead of focusing on what you feel, take a step back and try to listen to your thoughts. If the sexual tension makes you feel negative in any way (for example, guilty because you have a partner), it’s likely not worth it. You can try to write down all the consequences you might face if you give in to the desire to develop a more realistic view.
6. Talk things through
If things aren’t going well in your relationship, you’re more likely to seek understanding elsewhere. But before you make a rash decision, try to communicate with your partner first.
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