It’s human nature to fantasize about things. You may feel particularly fulfilled when thinking of your future self becoming a famous songwriter even if you haven’t played a note of music in your life. The human brain is capable of incredible feats and fantastical thoughts, and sexual fantasies are no exception to this. But what makes these thoughts stand out from the rest of our very natural ways of thinking, and why is it still taboo? This article explores the essence of women’s sexual fantasies and how to embody those carnal thoughts.
What are sexual fantasies?
- “A mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal.”
Sexual fantasies, at their very core, are a very taboo topic that sparks complicated feelings in most people. Even the most self-assured individuals can find themselves confused as to why they find certain thoughts and mental images that they conjure up so arousing. These thoughts can often go against your principles and personality, so why is it that they hold such weight over you, and why is it that you thought of them in the first place?
It’s easy to consider yourself a deviant mind when your innermost thoughts seem so illicit, but truth be told, even your most unspeakable sexual fantasies are generally acceptable. Daydreaming about these fantasies is healthy, and acting on them with your partner can bring satisfaction to you both, given that consent was established beforehand.
So they’re normal???
Yes! Not only are sexual fantasies normal, but they are also extremely healthy and beneficial to your sexual and mental health. These thoughts have been researched in great depth and have been found to elicit positive changes to both your mental and physical well-being. These good sexual fantasies not only offer a glimpse into how you view yourself and the world around you, but they also offer a healthy outlet for stress and promote self-development. As with any sort of fantasy, keeping them in the back of our minds incites us to make changes in order to accomplish that goal, including steps towards personal progress and growth.
Why is there such a stigma?
Unfortunately, even in this day and age, women’s sexual fantasies have a stigma around them, and they’re seldom spoken of in a healthy manner. What is the reason for this? It’s the same reason why some people think that planting a feather will cause a chicken to grow… They haven’t done their research. The cause for this skewed way of thinking is simply that people haven’t learned about good sexual fantasies in a healthy manner, and they haven’t been well informed.
Learning about these important factors in sexual health and wellbeing is empowering and helpful in your journey into personal growth. These harmful stigmas prevent women from exploring their own minds and bodies fully and need to be done away with through proper education in order to create a nurturing and healthy environment for us all.
What are good sexual fantasies?
As with all human thought, there are good and bad ones. It’s fairly easy to tell the difference between those thoughts, and we usually use morals to determine which category they fit into. The determining factor in whether these thoughts are classified as good sexual fantasies comes down to consent. If you have sexual fantasies that are somewhat dubious, that doesn’t mean to say that it’s wrong, so long as they remain simply as a fantasy. You may be lucky enough to find a partner that would love to consent to your wildest imaginings, in which case it would be a good and healthy fantasy that both parties will enjoy recreating. Some fantasies extend past the limits of consent and shouldn’t be considered a healthy and viable thought process to follow through on, but they have their place within your own mind where they should never be forced upon someone.
What are some common types of good sexual fantasies?
- BDSM – This is a big category and is possibly one of the most popular due to how much it encompasses. This is an umbrella term for three categories as follows:
- Bondage and Discipline – Light bondage is a feature in most people’s sex lives already without them really knowing it. These scary-sounding terms can range from mild to a much more intense form, but in most cases, they tend to surface as basic restraint in which your partner has control over your pleasure. Along with this physical bondage by means of restraints or the usage of one’s body to restrict movement, discipline tends to feature in relationships that share the exchange of power.
- Dominance and Submission – This is an exchange of power between the two parties. One partner is given the power of control by means of dominance, and the other freely
- gives this control over their bodies as the submissive. This dynamic comes in both the form of emotional exchanges and physical. These roles may be carried out full time, while others may choose to limit this to predetermined encounters. The submissive may often be required to engage in acts for their dominant in these sexual fantasies and in practice, and this is carried out with prior consent and discussion to ensure that both parties are never pushed further than agreed upon.
- Sadism and Masochism – This is a more uncommon sexual practice but it is no less fantasized than others. This category is performed by partners who derive pleasure from pain, in both giving and receiving it. Oftentimes one partner will be the sadist, the one who enjoys inflicting pain, while the masochist is the one who enjoys receiving it. This may sound like an odd dynamic and practice, however, the forms of pain are seldom extremely painful, and rather tend to be more of a discomfort that brings a sense of empowerment after having endured it.
- Multi-partner sex – This is an extremely popular sexual fantasy that tends to come up more often than not and refers to the act of having sex with multiple people at once. The appeal is thought to be that you are the subject of desire in this fantasy, having multiple lovers feel attracted to you at a single time. Who doesn’t love the idea of being the most desirable individual in the room?
- Passion and romance – This is the fantasy of being emotionally connected, adored, and appreciated by your partner during a sexual encounter. This isn’t limited to those in relationships, but rather anyone who feels the desire to experience a higher level of connection.
- Novelty fantasies – These fantasies can be almost anything out of the ordinary. From having sex in the bathroom at a social event to changing up positions, to something completely new to you, novelty sex is different and exciting for everyone.
- Naughty and taboo sexual fantasies – This refers to doing something that’s generally accepted as wrong or naughty. This is dependent on upbringing, cultures, and relationship status but it commonly involves having sex with someone you’re really not supposed to be with, voyeurism, or some downright out-there stuff like licking people’s feet.
- Non-monogamy – Having an open relationship is an appealing concept and makes up for yet another one of women’s sexual fantasies. The concept of swinging or cuckolding has grown in popularity as people have begun to accept this practice as a part of some couples’ very happy and functional relationships.
- Erotic flexibility – This particular type of sexual fantasy is comprised of two main categories – Gender-bending fantasies and sexual fluidity fantasies. Both of these fantasies explore different roles and personas, and the appeal can simply be a change of pace or the desire to let out a side of us that we don’t often have the chance to.
How do I embrace this form of sexual imagination and practice it?
Sexual fantasies are an essential form of self-expression and a great deal of fun to embrace, but how do you put them into practice? This process is as easy as communicating your fantasies with your partner. Start out with the less daunting ones first, the chances are that both you and your partner will enjoy engaging in your steamy thoughts, but there’s no reason to push your limits on the first go if you’re anxious.
Opening up your relationship to this sort of communication will almost always guarantee that your partner will speak up about some ideas they’ve wanted to try too. Embodying your carnal imagination is more than just “okay”, it’s recommended! Embrace your mind and body and allow your partner to share in recreating some of your most exciting sexual fantasies!