Learning how to talk about sex might not be easy, as it is often uncomfortable genuinely opening yourself up to a partner surrounding all things sex. Still, the benefits of doing so are seemingly endless. You learn about yourself and your partner from the core outwards; it builds understanding, trust, and connection. Overall, it is the only way to really open up the door that leads down the path of fulfilling sexual discovery.
Pinpointing various sex topics for discussion is one of the best ways to begin slowly approaching the sexual conversation. Nothing is worse than wanting to talk about sex and knowing the need to talk about sex but having no idea where to start! As the purveyors of all things sex talk and education, your favorite woman’s sex toy store is here again to help you along this journey, as we will highlight some of the best sex topics to begin conversational engagement with your partner that leads to the one thing we all want: incredible, orgasmic sex.
“Where do you stand with sex?”
A wonderful place to begin with sex topics is to simply figure out where your partner stands, in a broad meaning, with sex. This lays the groundwork for moving forward with more specific sex topics for discussion and helps ease both of you into this style of conversation. And trust us, once you get started talking about sex, it is SO much easier to continue moving forward.
Asking them where they stand with sex will allow them to take the question and run, answering it in whichever way they feel is appropriate. Because you aren’t asking them anything specific, such as “do you believe in monogamy?” their answer should lead to the ideologies surrounding sex that they feel are the most important to them.
They might choose to focus on how they believe there is or isn’t such a thing as too many partners. They might immediately take the stand that sex is sacred to them and only share it with particular individuals or vice versa and that they are free sexual spirits. They might showcase how they feel that monogamy is a thing of the past and they enjoy sharing their sex life freely, or that they hold monogamy dear to their heart and have no plans on breaking this bond.
No matter where their answer leads, this is a great way to determine some of the sexual constructs that are the most important to themselves to thus continue forward with talking about these specifics. It is a great introductory question to other sex topics.
“Would you like to talk about your sexual history?”
Some people are proud of their sexual history, others are shameful, and some might be somewhat indifferent. Regardless of such, learning about someone’s sexual past is a sex topic worth discussing, as there are so many variations of learning derived from this question.
But one disclaimer!
You can never ask someone about their sexual history if you do not want to hear their answer. This is their past, and there is absolutely no room and need for jealousy, as we are all entitled to our own history without judgment from another. This is simply a way to continue learning about your new partner’s sexual identity and what makes them who they are as a sexual human being. By no means is it a sex topic meant to instigate a negative rebuttal.
However, with this topic, you might discover that your partner’s sexual history involves multiple genders or that they are or are not a believer in a one-night stand. You might learn that they have only slept with a small handful of people or perhaps far more than can be counted on both hands. You might learn that they are a part of a kink community or that they are extremely reserved about sex. You have absolutely no idea until you ask, and this question is a great way to determine how you might choose to move forward with your sexual relationship.
If they have ample amounts of experience and have undergone plenty of sexual discovery themselves, then perhaps this is the perfect partner to begin exploring your own sexual kinks with. If they are more on the reserved side, then maybe you can act as their guide to sexual enlightenment as you take their hand and walk them down the road to uncovering new things. Or maybe, you both meet right in the middle in terms of your sexual history, and you would either like to keep things just the way they are or that this is the partner you’ve been waiting for to begin experimenting with more exotic forms of sex. Either way, this is one of the sex topics to find out!
“Do you suffer from any STIs or STDs?”
We know this is a tough question to breach, but it is seriously one of the most important questions to ask. In the end, of all sex topics for discussion, this one is morally required by us to answer if we have plans on engaging in any form of intercourse with another, as it is the only way to truly protect ourselves from the potential effects of an STI or an STD.
Ask them if they are currently diagnosed with anything, and if they are, please shy away from judgment. Instead, ask questions on how you can comfortably engage in sex to ensure your own safety and what strategies they have to implement to protect their partners.
Nice, now you’re on the same page, and things seriously just got a hell of a lot easier and safer!
If they do not currently have STIs or STDs, it is also important to ask them when the last time they have been tested was and for yourself to share the same information. No matter what, we always want to practice safe sex, but these questions can seriously make all the difference in ensuring the safety of your sexual future, even if you ‘plan’ on staying with this current partner forever.
“What is something sexual you have not yet done but would like to?”
This is one of the best sex topics because it doesn’t involve anything with the past, and instead, it will only showcase the things that you two can discover together for the very first time. And how exciting is that, right?
By asking them this sex topic and answering it for yourself, you are laying the groundwork for the best possible sex life ahead. You are becoming aware of their desires, and fulfilling your partner’s desires is truly a keystone element to a healthy and happy relationship. As well as this, it will build the excitement of the anticipation to try out something brand new together, which is one of the most effective means of promoting all the different types of intimacy.
They might bring up a kink they’ve always wanted to try, or perhaps something as simple as a new sex position. No matter what, this gives you something to look forward to that will lead to a much higher sense of connection and sexual discovery when the time comes to finally fulfill this fantasy.
“What are your kinks and fetishes, if any?”
Frequently, our sexual identity is made up of our most prominent kinks and fetishes. Some of us might have no kinks at all (at least so you think), whereas others might have a kink that they simply cannot live without fulfilling. It is vital to maintain this knowledge with your partner so that sexual frustration can be avoided at all costs and so you can engage in healthy sex talk surrounding this subject before jumping straight into anything, as your comfortability surrounding their possible kink is equally essential.
Once again, never be judgmental, and simply use this as sex topics to ensure that you have the knowledge required to fully fulfill your partner. If you’ve never heard of their most passionate kink before, then it might just be some time to do some research!
“What is your sex drive like?”
We’re all human, and with this, we all have completely varying sex drives. Understanding your partner’s sex drive will really help you to dictate your future of sex properly. If they need sex every day, and so do you, then by gosh, you’re a match made in heaven. But if you find that your sex drives tend to vary greatly, you will surely have to come up with strategies to negate the possible ill-effects of such to promote the longevity of your entire relationship.
As well as sex drive, you can also learn other things about when and how much they like to have sex, such as do they prefer sex in the morning, or maybe at night? Do they enjoy a nice quickie before work, or would they rather save the anticipation for a full-on, climax-inducing session once it’s time for bed?
These sex topics for adults will really help push you in the right direction with your partner. They will lead to a sex life that is synonymous with happiness and fulfillment, which will do nothing but enhance the quality of your entire relationship. So seriously, when the time feels right, ask away!