Talking about sex – 20 years ago, it was such a taboo topic.
Sex was something between your partner and yourself, and don’t even think about talking about female masturbation. As the years have gone on, most have realised that keeping sex in the dark – literally and figuratively- has been very harmful towards women and men alike. Many of us have always known sex to be something that we avoid talking about.
Talking to your partner about sex may not come easily, especially if you want them to improve on something or try a new position. However, being able to be open and honest in a relationship is a key factor in having a healthy relationship. For example, if you believe your sex drive is much higher than your partners, do you really want to stay flustered constantly? Intimacy is a key component in any relationship.
If you’re uncomfortable about talking to your partner regarding your sex life, take a deep breath and remember that the conversation is there to help you, not hurt you. Once you build the confidence to have the conversation, you’ll see how simple it really is! Comfortability can be achieved by taking baby steps to build a foundation.
Common issues that can easily be fixed with a simple talk are sex drive differences, orgasming, becoming bored in the bedroom, and general sexual wellness topics. Going back to earlier: maybe you believe that you or your partner have a way higher sex drive. A simple conversation can either lead to a solution, or you may discover that your partners sex drive is in line with yours! In heterosexual relationships, men often feel the need to constantly have sex to prove their manliness. You may very well find that he doesn’t want it all the time, but felt like you did. Or, if your drive is higher, he may want to invest in a dildo or vibrator to try on you when he’s not in the mood.
Want to try a new sex position, but nervous to bring it up?
Look for an article online about that position! Trust us, there are thousands out there. Read it, and show your partner. See what their thoughts are! It’s very possible that they’ve wanted to try that, or something else, and felt too shy to ask.
If you’re bored in the bedroom, buying light BDSM toys like handcuffs, a whip, or lube that heats or cools could easily solve that issue. You never know what your partner is open to until you discuss it. Perhaps one of you wants to try pegging or anal sex. Maybe oral can be integrated more. Flogging, costumes, and role play are also great to spice it up. You can even try moving sex outside of the bedroom. You never know!
At the end of the day, nothing is resolved until you talk about it. You and your partner should always have an open line of communication both inside and outside of the bedroom. The foundation to a healthy sex life is talking and experimenting to what both of you may like! Don’t be nervous or shy to discuss your desires. After all, an orgasm is the cure for so many things, including stress, and can even help you sleep better. Go achieve that after glow – you’ll be glad you did.