Sex Diaries: Should I keep One?

by | Oct 25, 2021 | Sex Education | 0 comments

Sex diaries (also known as sex journals) are excellent means to document your sexual experiences, promote sexual discovery, and act as an outlet for sensual creativity. There are many reasons as to why sex diaries are highly beneficial, and you’ll soon see why keeping a sex journal is such a fantastic idea filled with many positive effects guaranteed to follow. 

There are, however, a few variations for keeping sex diaries depending on your current standing in relationships and sexual affairs, and we’ll get right into these differing aspects, answering both why and how to go about your newfound passion of journaling about sex. 

What are Sex Diaries?

To summarize, sex diaries are personal writings surrounding nearly anything related to sex, maintaining a specific focus on sexuality. Sex diaries can be many things within this definition, and a few examples of the different types include:

  1. Using a sex diary to keep track of your past sexual encounters
  2. Using a couples sex journal to document experiences together and promote shared sexual discovery
  3. Employing a sex diary as creative expression
  4. A personalized diary to document your internal feelings and to memorialize your sexual escapades. 

With this wide range of possibilities contained within each option of sex diaries, let’s get into the reasoning behind each, which one might apply to you, and some simple-to-follow advice surrounding how to keep a sex journal. 

The Sex Journal #1

Using a sex diary to keep track of your past sexual encounters is one of the first possible ways of crafting your very own sex journal. This method of journaling isn’t about creativity or documentation of your feelings to reflect on and is somewhat more of a ‘technical’ approach.

In terms of sex journal prompts, this setup includes writing about the specifics of your sexual encounters, such as who you had sex (or performed other sexual activities) with, when you had sex with them, did you use protection, etc. 

This style of sex journal is beneficial in keeping track of possible STD/STI transmissions, contacting other partners regarding transmission or pregnancy (helping to answer who may have gotten you pregnant should this be the case), and overall, as a way to keep track of your headcount for your own personal reasons. 

sex diaries

The Sex Journal #2

A couples sex journal the perfect means to enhance your shared sex life with a romantic partner. 

Let’s be honest; if you don’t put in the work to continue making sex fun and exciting, then it is easy to allow the mundane to take over. Your fulfillment, your sex drive, and your pleasure all may falter with it, and sex diaries for couples act as an excellent means to avoid precisely this. 

How so, you might ask? A couples sex journal is essentially a way for both yourself and your partner to reflect upon the varying instances of your intercourse, thus allowing you to pinpoint new experiences that you enjoyed, certain positions that did or didn’t work, kinks that you do/do not enjoy, how often you generally have sex, and any other sexual idiosyncrasies you can think of. 

This way, you open doors to endless, positive conversations about sex. For example, for a few sex journal prompts, as you write together, take note of the things you liked and answer why you liked them, such as:

  • How you felt a new sex toy did or did not promote the sensation of your experience, and if you would like to continue using this as a pleasure-inducing device together, or perhaps you would rather keep it for strictly solo self-pleasure. 
  • Did you discover a new sex position that is perfect for reaching orgasm? What was it so that you know to try it again?
  • Is there a new erogenous zone that your partner discovered that you genuinely enjoy?
  • Do you like or hate foot play? What about temperature play? Roleplay, perhaps?
  • What made you climax with such passion this time versus others?
  • Etc…

By doing this, you can better adjust the next intimate moment accordingly for higher quality sex inspired by your ability to openly and honestly communicate your pleasures, desires, and likings in the bedroom. You can also write about certain ideas that you’d like to experiment with or create unique sex games, or really anything else you can think of that will make for a sex life that is synonymous with climactic chills and endless gratification. 

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The Sex Journal #3

Of all the sex diaries, this version is the most influenced by creativity. For this version of a sex journal, you can think of it as something similar to writing your own erotic stories to thus manifest what you wish to occur within the real-life aspects of sexuality and as a means to promote sexual relief through creative expression. 

For example, for one version of this style of sex journal prompts, let’s say you have a particular kink you have been dying to try, but you are single and haven’t yet found yourself in the position to safely explore it. To some, this might cause bouts of sexual frustration! 

That need, that desire contained deep within itching at your mind, but no way of turning it into a reality, can be daunting and sit uncomfortably in your mind. 

With sex diaries focused on this form of creative expression, you can take the time to write about this kink in a way that brings your imagination to life on paper. It’s like a relief in itself- sure, you haven’t really experienced it quite yet, but you’ve manifested what it will be like when you do, you’ve given yourself a place to expel your sexual frustration, and you promote creativity surrounding your sex life that will translate into your following intercourse. 

Writing about sex and your desires is healthy, and it helps you think freely and imaginatively as your kinkiest, dirtiest, and most sexual self, which will do wonders for the future of your sex life. 

sex diaries

The Sex Journal #4

By writing sex diaries that document your internal feelings and memorialize your sexual escapades, this is like any other diary, but a hell of a lot more fun to look back on and read, and also to write. 

Our sexual endeavors often create a significant aspect of who we are as a person, and it’s vital that you can healthily reflect on past experiences to thus promote a future of sexual bliss. 

Similar to the couples sex journal, but personalized to only you (specifically if you’re single) and as your own, untouchable place to safely express yourself, you will:

Reflect on the sex during the writing stages as the words begin to flow. You will memorialize your past experiences to look back on them with a sly, sensual smile. You can identify stages of growth you are undergoing. 

As well as this, this style of sex diary will help you to pinpoint what certain lovers did that you did or didn’t like, what kinks you have found really turn you on, what type of people you realize you are attracted to, or what qualities you have found turn you off, and much more. 

If you need a few sex journal prompts for this style of writing and reflection, try:

  • Writing the story of your intercourse. After a sexual encounter, take the time to remember exactly what happened and write it down on paper as a way to bring the story to life to never forget any of the minute details that were oh-so-much fun. 
  • Write about the personality of your last partner and what you did or did not like
  • Do a diary entry about how a particular partner made you feel- did they cater to a specific type of intimacy that you really enjoyed? And how can you translate this into future interactions?
  • What do you seek from your next partner, and how can you go about getting this? 
  • Did you try anal sex for the first time? How did it go, and what could you do differently next time for more pleasure?

 

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