Marriage is great, but it can also be synonymous with decreased desire and slowly losing interest in intimacy. Even if you used to be adventurous in bed, stress and life’s responsibilities could kill your sex drive. But it’s never too late to make sex after marriage as exciting as it was before.
Here’s how to keep the spark alive:
1. Explore Sex Toys
Having sex after marriage often comes with decreased desire and boredom. Luckily, there’s a way to reignite the old fire or even transform the way you have sex completely. The answer is sex toys that can help you understand how you like to be stimulated and discover new sensations ready to take your sex life to the next level.
The first step is to experiment with mutual masturbation that helps you explore your partner’s likes and dislikes. If you’ve never taken masturbation seriously before and had a go at a long session, the chances are that you still have a lot to learn about your body. Take things slow and consider it is building a foundation you need to have mind-blowing intercourse in the future.
Sex toys such as dildos and butt plugs are the best place to start as they’re beginners friendly and come in different sizes. Additionally, vibrators are a must-have for both men and women as they can give you a more intense orgasm. After you’ve learned to take things slow, you’ll be able to incorporate sex toys into penetrative sex.
2. Take Time to Fantasize
One of the mistakes some couples make is trying too hard to make their sex life better than it was before because apparently, things go downhill after you say the vows. In reality, that’s not always the case, and the change will be gradual.
So if you’re wondering how to keep things spicy in the bedroom, instead of crossing your boundaries for the sake of increasing the excitement, focus on exploring your fantasies first. Find out what turns you on and make a list of things you’ve always wanted to try.
Public sex is hot, but it’s not for everyone, and not being willing to try everything doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed. Knowing what you like will help you find ways to improve your sex life but also allow you to learn how to build sexual tension that can lead to more satisfying sex. Take time to develop your fantasies by reading erotic stories, listening to audiobooks, or watching ethical porn, and have your partner do the same.
You can then discuss your desires and go from there.
3. Set Monthly Goals
Once you’ve both discovered what your desires are, it’s good to set monthly goals that will allow you to fulfill them. But the key is taking small steps. For example, if you want to try sex in public, build up to it by using a remotely controlled vibrator or having sex in a different room in your house. Even a slight change of scenery is enough to give you the rush and make you excited to try more. Similarly, if you want to have a threesome with a man, focus on experimenting with dildos.
4. Get Out of your Comfort Zone
If your sex after marriage is bad, it might be time to get out of your comfort zone. If you’re one of the people who don’t like trying new things in bed, consider why this might be the case. For example, you might be afraid of the pain or how the new sensation will make you feel.
Make sure to talk it through with your partner and take things slow. If you want to try a new position that scares you, masturbate in that position first and when you do it with your partner, use plenty of lube and make sure to communicate well. If your partner shares a kink with you, try to understand him as best as you can and give it a go if it’s not a hard no. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.
5. Consider Visiting a Swingers Club
Visiting a swinger’s club doesn’t necessarily mean you have to get intimate with anyone other than your partner. Plenty of people go to these places just to connect with like-minded people or explore their voyeuristic and exhibitionist fantasies.
A lot of places also offer themed parties that can help you discover new kinks and find inspiration. Most people find the idea of being surrounded by naked strangers pretty hot, so it won’t hurt to give it a go.
6. Create an Alluring Atmosphere
When life gets in the way, it’s difficult to spare enough time to take care of the logistics, but it can be what you need to improve your sex life. To create the right atmosphere, all you have to do is light up the candles and play some sensual music to set the mood. If you want to spice it up a bit, you can try having sex while watching porn.
7. Explore Different Sides of Sex
Instead of having sex with the end goal in mind, try to stay in the present and focus on the sensations that lead to orgasm, as well as building anticipation. For example, you can try tantric sex, where you achieve a deeper connection with your partner by maintaining eye contact and synchronizing your breathing.
If you prefer something less sensual, it’s a good idea to try role play. Since the main reason sex after marriage gets boring is that the novelty wears off, role play gives you the illusion of having sex with a different person because you can act as any character of your choices. Plus, role play often goes hand in hand with lap dancing or sexy outfits, which can make your intercourse a lot more arousing.
8. Surprise Each Other
To keep sex after marriage exciting, it’s important to surprise each other once in a while. You don’t have to go to great lengths; even wearing a new outfit can be enough to make your husband crazy with desire. It won’t hurt to get a bit creative, either. For example, you could initiate a sex game or a roleplay.
9. Talk Things Through
If something isn’t working or doesn’t fulfill your expectations, communicate with your partner. If you let your frustration build without resolving the issue, your sex life will be even more dissatisfying, no matter how many sex toys and scenarios you explore. A lot of married couples having sex focus on fulfilling their own needs instead of prioritizing their partner’s, and there needs to be a middle ground that is met
10. Boost your Libido
One of the main reasons sex after marriage isn’t as good as before is decreased libido. If you want to learn how to increase your sex drive, start by changing the way you feel about yourself. If you don’t feel sexy, it’s time to fix that. Make sure you wear clothing that gives you confidence, treat yourself to nice underwear, and get in touch with your sexual side by scheduling regular masturbation sessions. You should sit in front of the mirror and learn how to admire your body. You’re gorgeous, girl!!