Every woman loves satisfying cunnilingus. That’s just a fact. The other unfortunate fact? Not everyone is great at making it sensual. Sensual cunnilingus is more than just an orgasm chasing race. Sensuality and sensual sex are about using all your senses to create a beautiful experience for your partner- one that could truly blow their socks off. We already hit on how to give a sensual blowjob, so now it’s time to focus on the vulva owners! Check-in with these tips to help create a sensual oral sex experience for your partner.
Be clear.
Sadly in our desire to have amazing sex, we encounter a lot of duds along the way. Ask your partner, and they may very well tell you about past sexual experiences where they have simply sat through unenjoyable attempts. Orgasm faking is a defense mechanism so women don’t have to share what they do or don’t like. There is probably nowhere this is more common than when receiving oral sex.
Be clear with your partner from the get-go that you’re looking to provide sensual cunnilingus. Tell them that you want to deliver an enjoyable experience for them and that requires them to be honest about their experience.
The most sensual cunnilingus also isn’t orgasm-chasing. Be there for your partner to enjoy the entirety of the sensual foreplay, even if it doesn’t end in orgasm. Sex isn’t a linear act. Enjoy the twists, turns, and pivots that playing with your bodies can allow. And instead of listening to some tips from an article online, always listen to your partner first and foremost. Your partner will appreciate your honesty and commitment to making this a good experience.
Play with the senses.
As a part of sensual foreplay, consider playing with the different senses. Set the scene with music or sounds that make you both feel engaged in your bodies. Try scents from candles to engage your sense of smell. And consider the feel of the room beyond your body. Luxurious sheets or having the fan off are great ways to create an ambiance ready for sensuality. While sensual cunnilingus may be your goal, it won’t be possible unless you take the time and effort to engage other senses, even in the foreplay stages of playing together.
True sensuality is a beautiful dance between all your senses. And if you engage all these parts in the beautiful dance of sensual foreplay, sensual cunnilingus will be just another dance move in your sexy samba together.
Engage their body.
Your entire body can be a sexual organ if it’s excited in the right way. Sensual cunnilingus requires a lot of sensual foreplay in areas that aren’t between the legs. Be prepared to invest time and energy into treating your partner’s entire body with care. This is a great time for a body massage, tickling touches, or even playing around with some more kinky fun.
By the time you reach the point of providing sensual cunnilingus, your partner’s entire body should be lit up from the amount of foreplay you’ve provided. And more importantly, still, listening to their body throughout this process is valuable. If their back arches when you’re doing a certain massage technique, listen to the way their body is talking to you and continue the proverbial “conversation”. Even if it’s an unexpected space to feel erotic, it is doing something to engage their body. Everything from the back of the knee, under the ears, and feet are parts of your partner’s sexual body. Care for these erogenous zones prior to providing sensual cunnilingus, and they’ll be more attuned to their pleasure.
Tease.
When you finally read your partner’s cues, and they’re telling you it’s time for go time, gentle teasing is a fun way to please. The “will they” or “will they not” game is erotic beyond belief for many women. While it’s great to be in a position to receive pleasure, there’s a fun game involved when your partner is both giving and taking it away in comfortable, playful intervals.
Try massaging inner thighs or squeezing the vaginal mound. Prior to sensual cunnilingus, these techniques will indirectly engage the area. These indirect forms of physical connection do a great job of showing what you want to do soon and also not doing it right away. As always, your partner’s body (or words) will tell you when they’re done with the teasing and just want pleasure.
Stay Engaged.
If sensual cunnilingus is the goal, you need to stop trying to become a machine. Your partner probably already has a vibrator or even a sucking tongue vibrator. They don’t need you to become an automatic sucking, licking, prodding machine. They want your human, meaningful touch. That’s what makes it sensual oral sex.
One of the best ways to stay engaged during longer sensual cunnilingus sessions (because, let’s be real, it may take time!) is to also turn towards your own enjoyment. Find desire in the way your body, mouth, or hands are touching your partner. Notice the parts of them that you enjoy playing with the most. By tuning into your own pleasure, you’ll be able to both do the things that feel great for them and for you. This will naturally allow for more sensual cunnilingus. Sensuality is mutually playing with bodies at the end of the day, and checking yours out of the equation won’t help either of you.
Consider insertion.
Sensual cunnilingus typically involves external stimulation. And to be sure, this is where many women enjoy themselves for a reason. A woman’s exposed clit is a powerhouse of pleasure. Your tongue and mouth are doing a lot of this heavy lifting. But there are more parts of a woman’s body to enjoy- and that means engaging the entirety of the clitoral network.
While a majority of sensual cunnilingus will probably involve external touching of the clit and surrounding areas with your mouth and tongue, there’s a value to insertion as well. If your partner seems interested, try a finger pushed inside or a small toy. While this may not be the time for pumping, having the internal clitoral network engaged is a great way to make this a more thrilling experience.
Keep going.
There is nothing that can ruin a sensual cunnilingus session faster than someone peeping the clock or prompting for orgasms. The truth is many of our bodies simply don’t work with this sort of pleasure on demand. If your partner feels pressured to finish up or to perform in a way that only you enjoy, you won’t really be getting the sensual cunnilingus you (or her) were looking for.
Remember, the key to staying engaged for a long session is (counter-intuitively perhaps) to continue to check in on your own pleasure. People tend to disengage when they aren’t taking care of their own presence in the sexual act. If that means putting a pillow under your knees or lifting her body to meet your mouth, ask for the pillow! If that means taking a break because your jaw gets sore, take a break and play with your fingers instead. Take care of yourself so that you can remain engaged.
And if you’re ready to really enjoy sensual cunnilingus, take it a step further. Find the parts of her body that you enjoy tasting. Find the parts that feel good underneath your tongue. By attuning to the parts of her body that YOU enjoy, you’ll be pleasuring yourself by pleasuring her- and that’s key for a sensual session.