We live in a world where we have access to all sorts of sex-filled media, yet not a lot of people understand the importance of self-expression and know how to connect with their desires. But how do you express yourself sexually if you were taught that sex is wrong? 

In this article, you’ll find out why getting rid of the shame and guilt surrounding sex is important and how you can unleash your sexuality in the bedroom. Are you ready to transform? 

How Can you Make Sure You Fully Express Yourself Sexually and Why is it Important?

 Sexual expression is about letting go of inhibitions that stand in the way of you connecting with your sexuality, such as society’s expectations or internalized shame. Sexual expression means that you feel comfortable with your sexuality and care about your sexual needs. In relationships, sexual expression is about the way you give and receive pleasure. The more sexually expressive you are, the stronger your sense of identity gets. Unless you’re asexual, sexuality is a part of you that you can’t just erase, so the sooner you connect with it and learn to express it, the more true to yourself you will be able to live. Expressions of sexuality look different to different people and might include desires, beliefs, fantasies, behaviors, and relationships.

Expressing sexuality can have a positive impact on your mental health and improve your sex life. Keep reading to find out how to express yourself sexually in bed and reap the endless rewards of sexual empowerment. 

To make sure you freely express yourself, you should:

1. Learn to prioritize self-pleasure

Most women have been taught that touching themselves isn’t appropriate and were made feel guilty for engaging in sexual gestures. The association between sex and shame might be difficult to get rid of, but one of the ways you can express yourself sexually is by learning how to prioritize your pleasure. 

To embrace your sexuality, you should regularly experiment with masturbation. Knowing what feels good and learning about your body’s reaction can improve your confidence and allow you to connect with your needs. You can invest in sex toys to help you with that. 

For example, using a vibrating sex toy can help you experiment with different types of stimulation and speeds and eventually find a combination that feels the most pleasurable. Additionally, don’t forget about the importance of a non-sexual kind of touch. The more you get to know your body, the more comfortable with your sexuality you can become and the easier it is to express it. For example, you can trace your fingers along your chest and neck and down your thighs before you move on to your genitals. 

2. Explore touch with your partner

Apart from learning how to touch yourself, giving your partner pleasure is another important form of self-expression. When you get intimate, try to think about what your partner makes you feel and convey it with your touch. Depending on your emotions, the touch will be either soft or firm. 

But remember that sex doesn’t always have to go hand in hand with love. Sometimes you might want to focus on expressing a feeling such as anger or lust, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you let your emotions guide you, you’ll be more likely to act true to yourself. 

3. Explore your kinks

Kinks and fetishes are a big part of your sexuality; they determine what you act like in bed and what your boundaries are. To explore your kinks, it’s a good idea to watch ethical porn or erotic movies and see what makes you feel aroused. While porn shouldn’t be a tutorial on how to practice kinks, it can point you in the right direction. 

If you find some aspects that pique your interest, discuss trying them out with your partner. Experimenting can help you learn more about your preferences and find the best way you can express your sexuality. 

4. Try taking on various roles

Experimenting with role play can give you an idea of how you can better connect with your sexual persona and improve your self-expression. Since women are taught that they should be submissive while men should be dominant, you might not realize you’d feel more comfortable in the opposite role. To find out if you’re more dominant or submissive, you can watch porn for inspiration and try out the most popular role-play scenarios such as nurse/patient, teacher/student, or boss/secretary. 

5. Try dirty talk

Dirty talk is a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, which can also give you space to express what you want to do to your partner. If you want to embrace your sexuality, you have to become comfortable with your desires and learn how to be more straightforward when communicating them. 

Try to introduce dirty talk to your sex life as a part of foreplay. Similarly, you can try being more vocal during sex. Do whatever feels best at the moment, be it moaning or screaming, and don’t forget to tell your partner when they’re doing a good job. Saying ‘I like it when you touch me there’ shows that you aren’t afraid of receiving pleasure and that you feel confident in your sexuality. 

6. Don’t be afraid to dress up

Even if you aren’t into role-playing, dressing up is a great form of self-expression. What you wear can reflect what you like and how you act in bed and can boost your confidence. For example, if you’re dominant, you might go for bold colors and leather or latex material, and if you prefer being submissive, you might choose outfits that are more delicate and feminine. Wearing an outfit that aligns with your sexual behavior can help you better express your sexuality. 

7. Communicate with your partner

Another important aspect of expressing sexuality is the ability to have an honest conversation with your partner if things aren’t going the way you’d want them to. Most people’s sex lives aren’t great straight away because developing sexual compatibility takes time. This is why it’s important to confide in each other if you feel neglected or if there’s something you want your partner to work on. These things are best talked about before you have sex or after. 

8. Initiate sex

Sexuality is mostly about confidence and feeling sure of who you are as a person, as well as recognizing the importance of having sexual desires. This is why the best form of self-expression is taking charge, which is like telling your body, ‘I hear you, and I respect your needs’. Don’t wait for your partner to make a move. If you’re in the mood, honor your body’s needs and own your arousal. You can initiate sex with physical contact or simply tell your partner you’re feeling horny. 

 9. Play music that puts you in the mood

If you’re wondering how to express your sexuality when having sex, don’t underestimate the power of music. Songs with sexual lyrics can increase your arousal and help you bring out the right parts of your personality. Choose songs that make you feel confident and empowered. We are all deeply sexual beings; we just have to learn how to access that sexuality.