Experiencing orgasms through penetrative sex – one of our favorite ways to release. Orgasming with our partner at the same time? Hard to make happen, but utterly enjoyable. Many women do not experience orgasms through penetrative sex! So for those of us who do, we are incredibly lucky. However, orgasming with your partner is incredibly uncommon, and we have some tips to help make this dream a reality.

Why is finishing together so amazing? This toe tingling, finger curling sensation that you can experience with simultaneous orgasms is not only an incredible sexual experience, but it’s a phenomenal way to bond further than physically. The emotional feelings experienced with this type of climax can take you fully in to the moment with your partner, and make you feel closer than ever. 

While many women always ensure they have orgasms, it’s usually before or after their partner finishes. Attempting to reach this pleasure at the same time definitely takes some work, and some practice. 

Foreplay, slowly building up, and knowing each others turn ons really help with this goal. You both have to learn each other in order to get to this point. When having sex, watch for each other’s physical cues- when your partner tenses up, or makes a certain move; when your vagina tightens and is ready for that awe inducing O. 

These are our top tips for getting off at the same time as your partner:

Notice both of your patterns. The first thing to know is who usually climaxes first and when. Does it happen the same way typically? Is there something you do that gets your partner to the edge? Do you ever come close to having orgasms together, or do you usually stay in your comfort zone by getting off a particular way, and leaving it at that? Notice exactly when you and your partner have orgasms so that you can create a strategy around achieving your orgasms together.

Take your time. Foreplay – teasing, kissing, dirty talk, and the process of getting turned on. Remember how important that is. Warm up, take time to arouse each other before sex. Make sex more meaningful! Tease each other. Beg for it. Physically and mentally turn each other on before you get to penetration. A large part of the climax is feeling sexy, desired, and wanted. Allowing each other to feel that want and need adds so much to the moment, and heightens sensations.

Try to edge each other. While we’ve all had moments where we need to get off, and fast, you have to get past that sensation to really experience the fun. Edging is essentially, bringing each other to the brink of getting off, and then backing off. This is a great way to learn what each others bodies enjoy, and for learning how to time your orgasms. While you can’t completely control when you climax, you can learn your body’s signals, so you’ll know when to let go and release, and when to wait for your partner. 

Find your favorite position. If you are able to orgasm from penetrative sex, what position gets you there, or what foreplay activity helps you feel that you’re close? Start with figuring that out, and see if you can guide your fun time to get you close to climax. Then, help your partner get to that point as well, until you’re both equally close to finishing, then experience the sweet sensation of orgasming together.

Don’t be afraid to be vocal. If you’re close to an orgasm, say so! Or yell, scratch, whatever you need to do to express it. There’s nothing more sexy than telling someone you’re about to have an orgasm, and you want them to come with you. Play around with teasing verbally – you’ll be surprised at how well it allows you to have fun with each other. It also takes away the guessing game of “is he or she close?”.

Practice makes perfect. Just like many people’s first time having sex with each other, you’re more than likely not going to make it happen on the first attempt. It takes practice, patience, and the desire to have fun and enjoy each other while working towards this goal. Don’t get frustrated and upset by your inability. Try new foreplay ideas, add some toys, and try new positions until you get the results you want.

Being able to orgasm together is an incredible bonding experience for any couple to have, but it doesn’t happen overnight.