BDSM, the acronym that stands for ‘bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism’,  is a sexual relationship between two people in which both mental and physical pleasures are shared through the various forms of interaction that fall into this type of bedroom play.

Today we are going to get into the different aspects of a BDSM relationship, answering what a BDSM relationship is and how to best approach it in your love life, while also providing you some tips and tricks on ways in which you can ensure that only the best of this orgasm-inducing kink is brought out in your love life. 

Not to say that after reading you will be ready to pull out the whips and chains, but this may at least provide to you the beginnings of much more, as with time and experience your BDSM relationship will do nothing but expand and grow. 

Bondage and Discipline Relationship.

Let’s start with the first part of a BDSM relationship, bondage, and discipline. 

Bondage is the act of restraining your partner so that their movements are hindered and under your control. They essentially become your sexual slave, and their inability to move allows the other to do as they please, disciplining them in whichever kinky manner they feel fit. 

Bondage can be performed in a variety of different ways, from simple handcuffs to the involvement of BDSM specific ropes and restraints with intricate forms of knots. If you are new to a BDSM relationship, then take your time learning the various levels of restraint and how to best implement them, as experience will come naturally.

Most bondage and discipline relationships maintain some form of safe word or related signal to showcase when he/she who is restrained has had too much. If you are going to work on introducing BDSM into your relationship, then chat with your partner about your safe word. 

Bondage and discipline tend to remain one of the more physical aspects of a BDSM relationship as a whole. The varying forms of bondage allow the dominant partner to inflict pain, such as with whips and spanking, punishment, and otherwise humiliate the disciplined partner in whichever way they please. 

The partner who is restraining the other acts as the dominant and the restrained partner acts as the submissive, bringing us to our next aspect of a BDSM relationship. 

Dominant and Submissive Relationship.

In terms of BDMS, dominant and submissive relationships are one of the broadest aspects of your involvement in this kink. 

The dominant partner is, as the name clearly implies, dominant over the other. This means that they maintain a form of control over the submissive. This control allows them to practice many forms of powerplay in the relationship, and this power play can be performed both in and away from a sexual setting. 

The dominant enjoys being the person in control and is someone who finds fulfillment in pleasure directed by themselves yet carried out by another. Sometimes a dominant role can be directing your partner with voice and outside of a sexual setting, such as telling them (or more so forcing them) to make you dinner or give you a foot massage. 

This will then translate directly into your BDSM relationship once the clothes start coming off, as the dominant can then use their instructions to direct the sexual interaction. As well as vocally dominating, there are of course the physical aspects to this relationship as well. 

The dominant can do as they please in terms of inflicting physical pain and pleasures, as well as directing the submissive in how he/she provides the pleasures to the dominant as well. 

The submissive in the relationship is someone who relishes the idea of their partner being in complete control, as oftentimes some fantasize about allowing a power position to dictate themselves. This power play often leads to role play settings that maintain similar power constructs, such as teacher and student or cop and robber. 

Dominant and submissive relationships, and the power play that comes with these BDSM relationships, are acted out in a sexual setting and also in other forms of a relationship, lasting as long as you both wish. It doesn’t necessarily stop after the sex, as some BDSM relationships take place all day, every day. 24/7 BDSM. 

Some partners are always dominant or always submissive, while others enjoy switching the roles around during different interactions. It all depends on what you enjoy and what you agree on, and if you are new to this world, then enjoy the process of learning, as with experience you will uncover many of your own kinks. 

Sadomasochism.

The dictionary defines sadomasochism as the “psychological tendency or sexual practice characterized by both sadism and masochism.”

He/she is the dominant role usually enjoys the tendencies derived from sadism. These tendencies include receiving pleasure and sexual stimulation through the infliction of pain, humiliation, or otherwise general suffering to the other. 

The act of spanking their partner and inflicting pain, for example, turns them on, and that is why those who not only enjoy being in power but more so enjoy the actual infliction of these physical aspects onto another will do well as a dominant in a relationship. 

To some, the idea of hurting while having sex doesn’t seem right. But to others, it is exactly what they want. They love to feel the pain, the bruising, the spanking, the complete let go of physical control. If you are one to enjoy these feelings of pain and suffering, then your tendencies fall under masochism. 

If you do not yet take part in a BDSM relationship but you enjoy subtle things like hair pulling, light choking, or spanking, then these are just smaller aspects to the much larger term of masochism, then you would probably do well as a submissive. 

The wonderful aspect about BDSM is that even when you technically aren’t in control, in a broad perspective you still are, and each interaction will teach you things about yourself that will then translate into the next. You might realize that a dominant role is better for you versus a submissive, and all you have to do is communicate and change it!

How to get into BDSM.

Getting into BDSM starts with communication. Whether that communication is with your own partner or simply with yourself, you must ask yourself what your desires are deep down and if BDSM would be a means to access and fulfill those desires. 

If so, then communication with another is next, whether that be your partner or someone else in the BDSM world, and setting up the specifics to your own interactions before they occur is essential. 

When first starting out, do as much research as you can and always start slow, only progressing with comfortability. Utilize a safeword and never allow things to go too far just because you think that is how it is supposed to be. 

Although it involves pain, punishments, and suffering, BDSM in the end is about sexual fulfillment, and for you to enjoy these aspects of it to the highest potential, you don’t want to let your first experience turn you away from growing and learning more simply because it didn’t go well.