Sex can be anything you want it to be. It can be quick, hot, and heavy, lasting for but a few minutes of carnal bliss. Or, on a more slow and sensual note, it might extend into timeless sessions of physical connectivity, hours spent under the sheets playing, exploring, and simply enjoying.
While all these manifestations of intimacy and sexual fulfillment are incredible (might I add necessary?), they do both have their pros and cons.
Read on to discover more of the idiosyncrasies of quick sex versus long sex and how to use these primary deviations of intercourse to their full, sensational advantages.
Quick sex.
While some women commonly complain about their man finishing too fast, having quick sex might actually scratch the itch you never knew you needed. Having a long sex session is fantastic, don’t get us wrong, but on occasion, all you need is a quick bang with your man, some spontaneous, hot, and fast excitement that will have you daydreaming for hours afterward.
The Pros
– It’s exciting as hell.
– Relieves tension.
– It can act as foreplay to play later in the day.
– It allows for hard, rough, and freeing sex.
– Builds intimacy between you and your partner- both sexual intimacy and experiential intimacy (trust me, you’ll remember that quickie on the beach!).
– Pain relief for that midday headache thanks to alllllll those feel-good hormones released during sex.
– It’s sex you can fit into even the busiest routines, a wonderous way to maintain a healthy sex life and flourishing libido.
– It contributes to sexual exploration and women’s empowerment!
The Cons
- Women often take at least 20 minutes of sexual stimulation to orgasm, so a quickie doesn’t often push us over the edge. Chances are, a climax isn’t synonymous with quick sex.
- You can’t really take it slow during quick sex, so if quick sex doesn’t get you off, you might not leave satisfied.
- It sometimes leaves you wanting more.
- It often takes place in some awkward and public places, adding an extra risk.
But, when you view this from a broader perspective, these quick sex cons really aren’t that bad. More so, they are situational!
If you like to take things slow, step back and appreciate that your partner might enjoy this fluid and fast form of lovemaking. As long as there is equality, and you receive equal opportunity to engage in intimacy the way you enjoy it, this actually contributes to shared fulfillment.
If quick sex sometimes leaves you wanting more, realize that this might be to your sheer advantage. Building sexual tension through this light, more extended form of edging will lead to heightened desire and increased stimulation. Might I add a soul-shivering climax, perhaps? (Bring your sex toys to join you later, of course).
Awkward or public place with extra risk? If you’re adventurous, go for it! You’ll get to explore various aspects of kink while doing something new and exciting together.
See what I mean? Don’t be a downer on quick sex if you usually are. Learning to embrace it and use it to its absolute advantage will do nothing but enhance the quality of your sex life and connection with a partner. And remember, the long sex will be just that much better.
How to Have a Quickie
A quickie is what it says on the tin: quick! So typically, this type of sex is spontaneous and passionate; the kind of ‘gotta’ have you now’ sexual urge that just appears out of nowhere. So there’s not much else to advise you on except: when you feel the urge, go kiss your partner and see if they’re feeling it too.
If you want to spice things up, set a timer on your phone and when it goes off, stop having sex. Even if you really want to continue, stop what you’re doing. This will leave you horny for more later on.
Worried this might cause feelings of sexual frustration or even anger? Sure, it might, but won’t it feel hella good spanking the emotion out of you onto your partner’s bare bum? Thought so.
Long Sex
Taking your time over a long sex session is worth it: period, end of convo.
Women take, on average, 20 minutes to reach orgasm. And that’s no quick sex, is it? Longer sex allows for a lot more options during sex, such as foreplay, edging, multiple positions, anal sex, breaks – yes, even breaks!
Basically, long sex allows for more … let’s say … comprehensive pleasure.
Long sex caters to your entire ecosystem of sexuality, both physically (ensuring that every pleasure zone is oh-so delicately taken care of), and also spiritually and mentally (building intimacy/connection through this sacred bonding time and satisfying your most intrinsic desires).
And if orgasming is important to you, long sex is the one for you.
Pros
- More likely to have an orgasm, wahoo!
- You can try multiple positions.
- You have all the time in the world for sensual foreplay.
- You don’t feel rushed, promoting relaxation and, therefore, more potent sensations.
- You can have sex more than once. Multiple orgasms for dessert, anyone?
- Longer sex is more associated with ‘making love’.
- Allows for more sensuality because you can take your time pleasuring your partner, delighting all (or denying some!) of the five senses.
Cons
- You get tired.
- Hello cramp!
- Your sheets will get sweaty AF.
- You need time set aside for long sex.
- Depending on how hard you went to town, your vagina might feel a little sore after.
- Your body might also ache hard after a lengthy session in bed.
But once again, aren’t these cons, in the end, totally okay? It’s just the price we pay for love and sex, and you know what, that’s one heck of a small price indeed. So when your body and mind are feeling it, and you know you want to journey down the slow road to climactic brilliance, go for it, girl.
How to Have Long Sex
This is the kind of sex that you can really take your time on. Change your bedding to fresh new ones, dim the lights, light some candles, and let your instincts take over.
What I would recommend for longer sex sessions is including a lot of foreplay and getting sensual with your caresses. Now is not the time to go hot and heavy too fast. Take the time to build your partner’s arousal, give them a sexual exploration massage, make out with them and use sensual touches and kisses.
For women, it takes us a while to warm up, so sensual touches over a long period of time are the best for turning us on. What are you waiting for if you’re a woman and haven’t yet tried slow and sensual sex?
And if your guy goes too fast, don’t be afraid to tell him to slow down. By nature, men want to go fast during sex, so they will naturally go a bit faster than you might need. Be vocal and unashamed/afraid to voice your needs!
During longer sex, you can also incorporate lengthier sexual fantasies such as BDSM scenes and role play. Get all your best sex toys out and enjoy a bit of playtime with your bae.
The Climax
Sex can be whatever you want it to be. It can be short, medium or long … much like your hair length, actually. In any case, each length of sex is great for certain types of pleasure.
A quickie is excellent for scratching that ‘I need you now’ itch, and it can also be a very public exhilarating affair. Longer sex sessions allow for more sensual sex, including foreplay and edging, both of which increase female pleasure greatly.
No matter what sex you prefer, just enjoy it! Let your instincts take over, and let the pleasure take over you.