Slut shaming is not a new phenomenon. It has been happening for centuries, and it continues to happen every day worldwide. The media consists of different slut shaming examples: Kim Kardashian for uploading pictures of her body, Taylor Swift for having “too many boyfriends,” or how the world shamed Miley Cyrus in 2013 at the VMAs when she performed “We can’t stop” with Robin Thicke.

We’ve all grown up in a culture where it is normal, and some of us do it without even meaning to. Be it the aunties staring at you with judgment, a gang of girls gossiping in hushed voices, or a bunch of entitled men name-calling women, shaming women is deeply rooted in our culture. Now let’s delve deeper into “What is slut shaming” and how to stop it.

What Is Slut Shaming?

Slut shaming is judging, harassing, and bullying a person for the way they show their sexuality. It’s a blanket term for telling someone they are immoral. The purpose of doing this is to regulate women’s sexuality through outdated cultural conventions. 

Any woman can be a victim; married women, single ladies, abuse survivors, and even children. This is everywhere: on the streets, on social media, even at home. You may have heard your mum or aunt criticize someone; sometimes blame you too for not dressing a certain way or having male friends. Yes, that is a slut shaming example.

I’m also sure you have seen a slew of hate remarks on social media platforms shaming women for embracing their body and sexuality, how they dress, how they behave, and what they do. We teach girls to keep their period secret, close their legs while sitting, and treat their bodies like it’s a sin. What is even sadder is that women do this to other women. 

Different Forms of Slut Shaming

Slut shaming can be blatant and intentional, like calling someone nasty names, making crude remarks, or spreading rumors about them. But it can also be subtle and deliberate – like raising your brows when someone discloses the number of sexual partners. 

For one thing, it targets only women. Think about it. Men and boys receive praises for being sexually active or sleeping with many women. For some reason, we don’t slut shame men. No one tells men (or boys) that when their shorts are riding low and when their underwear is outside, it is “distracting.” 

There is an insane double standard that allows for anything boys do to be excused by the cliché “boys will be boys.” Girls, however, are labeled as whores for the same behavior. The double standard is so intense that men who show off their bodies online still manage to shame women who do the same thing. Some examples of things you might not realize are slut shaming includes

• Mocking someone else’s sexuality because they feel weird to you.
• Assuming a woman is only dressing up to impress men.
• Talking down on women who are open about their sexuality.
• Spreading rumors or gossip about other women.
• Making inappropriate comments about someone’s sexual preference or activities.
• Making unwanted sexual gestures to someone or taunting them.
• Calling someone names in a derogatory manner.
• Writing sexual comments about someone online or sending hate messages.

Why Slut Shaming is wrong

It encourages rape culture. When a woman is called a slut, many people think she deserves punishment or assault. Slut shaming promotes the oppression of women. Ideas like this make it hard for women to get support and justice in society. Calling a woman a slut makes her a big target for sexual assault and harassment because people now feel they have a right to violate her body. 

Shaming women about their bodies or sexuality is not acceptable. A woman’s present sexual activity, past sexual encounters, orientation and preferences is her business and no one else’s.

How to Avoid Being Slut Shamed

Whether you dress modestly or not, join a convent or start wearing an old-timey radiation suit, you can’t avoid it. Women are slut shamed just by being women! This is not your fault, and you should not let it get to you.

How to Stop Slut shaming

Slut shaming takes a massive toll on self-esteem, mental health, and relationships. The issue is not only about female sexuality. It includes the fact that men are more confident about themselves in society, while women are raised to first ponder, “What will other people think of me?” 

While we might all believe that men should take the blame for the double standards, there is more to it than the simple re-orientation of males.

Women are raised to question themselves, “What will other people feel about me?” by their mothers, sisters, and female friends. Women and girls judge each other and repeat the cycle over again. To stop slut shaming, it must be tackled on both sides.

But here’s how you can stop it in your little way

• Get to the Root: If you catch yourself slut shaming and talking negatively to someone, take a moment to figure out why. Are you projecting your emotions on them? Are you jealous of them? Anyone who wants to stop slut shaming needs to look within themselves to identify where those ideas and behaviors are coming from. Parents and teachers need to do better when talking about sexuality to both genders, that all genders have sexual feelings, wants, needs and desires. Fathers, mothers, teachers, brothers, sisters, and friends of young women also need to stop enforcing traditions of how women should conduct themselves. They should challenge the double standards and not let boys get away with the same things they criticize girls for. Sexual behavior is nothing to be ashamed of! Instead, we should accept it.

• Support other women: We’ve all heard the popular myth that women don’t support each other, but it’s not true. Women can be powerful allies. You can champion each other and support without slut shaming and pulling other women down with your words and actions. Always try to look out for women, encourage them to embrace their sexuality, be kind, mentor a girl, collaborate, don’t compete, show up for women, physically and emotionally.
• Call out people who slut shame: If anyone around you does this, you should call them out. Let them know it is very wrong and unnecessary. Don’t be the girl who stares and gossips about the other woman who had sex last night. Be the girl who goes over and gives her a high five. Celebrate your sexuality, womanhood, and the freedom to do as you please.

If you are being slut shamed, know that it is not your fault. Yes, being a young woman this present time and age is no easy feat. Instead of slut shaming and passing judgment on a woman’s body, critics need to chill and know that this is the twenty-first century. Women now have a mind of their own and have the autonomy to decide what they want to do with their bodies. 

So far, it’s safe; women having and enjoying sex isn’t wrong. Sex is not depleting the ozone layer. Getting it on is not melting the polar ice caps. Banging doesn’t cause hunger. And using sex toys is not going to lead to wildlife extinction either.

Sex is one of the most natural things. It should be embraced. No stigma. No bad vibes. No negativity.