Pre-pandemic, a breakup would be much different. Experiencing heartbreak was easier to manage, as you could distract yourself by going out with friends and family, going in to work, and even having casual hook ups if that’s your thing. Now, breaking up is turned upside down by the reality of COVID-19. Being afraid of getting the virus means we don’t have the simple pleasures of a bar or restaurant, or hanging out with our friends to vent. And as much as we say FaceTime helps, it’s not the same. There’s no vacations, quick escapes to a town, having an all night venting session with your closest. When it seems like all you can do is sit at home by yourself thinking about your breakup, it feels bleak. Healing is significantly harder. How do you move on when your usual coping mechanisms are considered dangerous?

While the pandemic has impacted how we usually mourn the end of a relationship, we have to learn how to adapt. Work on self-care, rebuilding your life, and being happy for other things not related to relationships.When it comes to self-care, remember that is more than just skin care and shopping. After a breakup it’s important to do things that calm you and destress you. Practice mindfulness and meditation, and spend time outside! Go for a run or hike, or simply a nice walk around the neighborhood.Remember that healing isn’t just about distractions — it’s about allowing yourself to grieve. Work through your grief by doing things such as journaling, talking it out with your family and friends, and looking to the future with lessons learned. It’s crucial to express your emotions, not just bottling them up. Use FaceTime and phone calls to vent. Finding healthy ways to cope means you’re moving forward in a positive direction. You want to work on yourself, not against yourself. Reflect on the relationship. What wasn’t good about it? What were you happy with? What would you not want in your next one? The time you have when quarantining at home might seem like a nightmare, but realize it gives you uninterrupted time to reflect.Rebuilding new routines, new social circles, and even moving homes can be part of your healing process. Rearrange the furniture, make the space more yours! Your space should become about you, not both of you. This will help you find sanctuary in your home, and allow you to clear your mind.Keep your spirits up by watching funny shows or movies. Practice self love, masturbate instead of looking for quick hookups! Since staying home is important, invest in a new dildo or vibrator you’ve been eyeing. Healing is about focusing your energy forward. As tempting as reaching out to your ex might be, take this time to strengthen yourself and break the attachment Otherwise, you may hurt yourself more.

Keep yourself from texting, social media stalking, or looking over old photos. Unfollow your ex on social media, and delete their number when you’re ready. The fewer ways you have to contact them, the less likely you’ll be to reach out. If you avoid reaching out, you avoid opening up fresh wounds. Be selfish, and remember that with a breakup, you get a fresh outlook on yourself.