Bringing sex toys into the bedroom can feel like a daunting, nerve wracking task. Everyone has feelings, and no one wants to make their partner feel inadequate, uncomfortable, or insecure. While we totally get it, it doesn’t have to feel this way! Sex toys are made to enhance pleasure, not be scary!
Being in a long term relationship doesn’t have to mean having boring sex! In fact, it should make it the opposite. Being in love with someone and sharing something that builds trust only makes sexual exploration that much more fun! If you’re looking to be more adventurous in the bedroom, sex toys are the perfect place to start. The Vibes team has made the ultimate guide to introducing toys in to the bedroom, so you and your partner can take your orgasms to even higher levels.
The conversation should be about both of you.
You don’t want to just bring a dildo out and hope your partner is as receptive as you want. The first and most important thing is to have an open dialogue about wanting to try something new! Don’t let the conversation be one sided. This comes across as selfish, and may make your partner self conscious about their bedroom skills.
Focus on the positives in your sex life, not what you may be lacking. This way, your partner won’t feel the need to react defensively. Try telling your partner how sexy you would find it if they used a toy on you in the moment! Playing a blame game, or saying that you NEED this to orgasm can definitely make your partner feel inadequate and shut down the confidence they have to use one with you.
Focus on exploring each other
When you have that first conversation about bringing a toy in to the bedroom, make the focus on exploring new and exciting things together. Keep it light and fun, and show that it’s a sexy thing that may turn you on in the bedroom!
Make sure your partner knows it’s about trust and love. You want to be sure they know it isn’t about making up for something that they are missing or unable to give you. Boosting their confidence will also make them excited to try this toy with you!
When you feel comfortable with your partner, it’s easy and amazing to try new and kinky things in the bedroom. Remember that sex toys aren’t all about chastity belts and bondage.
Pick the Right Toy
There are so many online stores selling sex toys. You don’t have to go in store, feel embarrassed, or unsafe. V for Vibes is exclusively sold online, and we offer the highest quality silicone and glass sex toys with discreet luxury packaging. The most important thing is to pick a toy that works for both partners. Picking a massive, veined and lifelike dildo is most likely not the right move to introduce toys to your partner
Start with something like a small vibrator. It’s an easy beginning, and not too scary. If you scare your partner with something (or hurt them) they probably won’t want to try again, so keeping the entry point non threatening is key. You don’t want to make the fun one sided, or stop it before it starts! If your partner is nervous, ease in to it.
Luckily, there are tons of amazing and non-threatening toys out there to try, that can really be pleasurable. We recommend trying our Hera toy to start out. Made out of medical grade silicone so that it’s easy to clean, and has an ultra quiet Japanese motor. With 10 speeds and a USB charger, she’s easy to travel with and fun to try. You’ll forget it’s even there (in the best way possible).
Another great option is the Diana. She’s lightweight but still packs a punch. Designed to cup your clitoris, Diana has 10 speeds to excite you. She’s small, purple, and quiet. The key is to stay away from toys that are too big or scary looking. You can work up to them, but to start, keep it simple!
Using sex toys can be an amazing, sexy addition to any relationship and bedroom time. With the right communication and perfect sex toys, you can take your sex life to the next level, and grow the bond with your partner.
Drop a comment and let us know your favorite toy to use!