When we have sex with someone, we are experiencing a part of them. You are sharing a physical bond, and hopefully have some kind of emotional bond to them as well. So when you think of an NSA (no strings attached) sexual relationship, how do you define that?
As humans, our bodies produce certain hormones and emit certain pleasure waves when we are with someone sexually. This is to help us bond and create a connection with someone. So if our bodies are naturally trying to create this bond, how can we say we really have NSA sex?
With sexual liberation, both men and women are able to enjoy the freedom of having sex without having any commitment. We are able to make the choice to share our bodies with whoever we choose, or not share our bodies at all. We could be in a relationship and not have sex, or not be in a relationship and be having lots of sex. However, though we may be sexually liberated, there is still the fear of being a female-identifying person and classified as a wh*re, sl*t, or other slur, for choosing to have an NSA sexual relationship.
Is casual sex, or NSA sex, here to stay?
While many people of all genders and sexual orientations enjoy having sex without needing a romantic or committed relationship, many of us also find this incredibly difficult. As human beings, we have feelings that occur naturally and needs that we cannot expect someone with no commitment to fulfill for us.
We have to have a mutual understanding with our partner (NSA partner or committed partner) about what our interactions are. Defining our boundaries and wants and needs can help prevent the inevitable heartbreak that comes when we do not do that, and one person wants more from the other. The key to making this happen is to have respect for one another, not push each other farther than we want to go, and open communication from the beginning. Articulating what matters to one another can prevent power inequality and the anxiety of NSA sex.
However, NSA sexual relationships are not a bad thing. Though the above may suggest otherwise, NSA sex can liberate someone who has always felt the need to be in a committed relationship to have sex. Further, many people do want to have sex without having a serious or committed relationship. This could be short-term or long-term.
Do you believe there are always strings?
Well, if you do, you are not completely wrong.
Because of the socio-economic surroundings, we have, gender inequalities, and overall societal judgment, strings do exist. These strings shape our relationships with both ourselves and others. Even in an NSA sexual relationship, we still have obligations to our partners. This includes being respectful of each other, not talking about our sexual relationships to others without your partner’s knowledge, and most importantly, sexual health obligations such as using protection and getting regular testing done.
Yes, you may have no strings attached emotionally, but you will absolutely have strings attached if one of you transmits an infection to another. This is why respect, boundaries, and mutual understanding is just as imperative in NSA relationships as it is in committed relationships. None of these things are items that should be taken lightly.
Is NSA sex a good option for me?
You need to be realistic with yourself and your needs. First of all, you and the person you want to have an NSA sexual relationship with should be at least some semblance of friends to each other. A random stranger is not necessarily someone you want to be sexually active with.
Think about how much you are willing to invest time-wise, emotionally, physically, and financially. Then, reflect on how you would feel if this person just did not answer a text or call, because they have no obligation to. Think about what benefits you are actually trying to get out of this NSA sexual relationship. Are you looking for someone who will have sex with you whenever, provide you feelings of comfort and support, but not expect the same in return? If so, an NSA relationship is not a good option for you. NSA sex is mutually beneficial or should be.
How do I communicate I am looking for an NSA sexual relationship?
The easiest and most effective way to communicate this if you are on a dating app is to be upfront and state that in your bio. Do not leave a blank bio, and wonder why the other person is getting angry when you communicate this to them after chatting! Establish your boundaries respectfully by communicating and offering clarification. Do not lead someone on, in the false pretenses of a relationship, to just sleep with them and ghost them.
Now, even if you communicate all of this and truly feel like an NSA sexual relationship is what you want, one of you may find yourself in a situation where you catch feelings for each other. If this happens, you have to be honest with yourself and with them, and communicate that. They may reciprocate, or they may cut it off. However, you cannot be afraid of being cut off. Not everyone is emotionally ready for a committed or potentially serious romantic relationship.