Have you ever wondered what’s going on inside the mind of a man? Have you ever caught a handsome gentleman looking at you from across the bar and wished you knew what he was thinking?
We all know men to be highly imaginative and particularly inclined towards enjoying some frankly out there sexual thoughts, but are they all that uncommon? Men’s sexual fantasies seem to share a lot of common themes, but what are they exactly?
What are sexual fantasies?
Sexual fantasy:
- “A mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal.”
Men’s sexual fantasies have been a well-kept secret by the male community. However, research has been done over the years, exposing these very common and shared fantasies. It’s been noted that over recent years that as much as the number of fantasizing women has begun to climb in the comparisons, men are still prone to fantasize more than women. These 10 most common male sexual fantasies range from highly predictable to so bewildering that it’s nearly equivalent to walking into your bathroom and seeing a pelican brushing its teeth with your pink toothbrush. So why is it that men seem to like these things, and what can you do about them?
An important factor to remember, however, is that sexual fantasies have three categories to help make sure that when you’re trying to make things steamier in the bedroom, nobody oversteps due to poor communication:
- Fantasies that we keep to ourselves.
- Fantasies that we speak about in the heat of the moment with our partners (without enacting them).
- Fantasies that we want to enact in real life.
Why do men enjoy sexual fantasies?
Another very common fact about men is that they want what they can’t have. This definitely carries over into what their sexual fantasies involve. If you tell a man that you’re too busy to have sex on your weekly Wednesday series catchup night, you can be almost guaranteed that he’ll want your attention even more over that time in particular.
This chase for something that men don’t have is the theme of a lot of male sexual fantasies. But why do they have these sexual fantasies? The human mind is constantly thinking, expanding, and searching for things that spark happiness, joy, or in this case, pleasure. These are healthy, natural processes, even having been shown to offer a healthy outlet for stress and promote self-development. These thoughts elicit positive changes to both your mental and physical well-being, and both men and women share this exciting form of creativity.
The top 10 men’s sexual fantasies
Threesomes
Let’s be honest, the only thing better than sex with a woman is sex with two women. This is one of the most common male sexual fantasies around. The chances are that your partner wouldn’t really engage in it, but it’s hard to pretend that the thought of two beautiful women in bed with him is something that he wouldn’t enjoy. Along with the general impression of this fantasy being extremely hot, another appealing factor is that these fantasies often have you filling the main role or being the so-called star of the show. Threesomes (or moresomes) also have the added perk of being an even greater sexual experience to the senses and have even more aspects of fantasizing about than just a twosome.
The next step:
The question comes down to what category this fantasy falls into. If it’s category two, feel free to talk a little dirty in the bedroom with your partner after a prior discussion about it.
Is it category 3? The great news is that group sex isn’t an unattainable fantasy! It generally isn’t difficult to find someone who’d be down to get naughty in a threesome, all that’s left to do is talk with your partner about if you’d like this encounter to be a once-off thing or an ongoing experience.
Oral Sex
Understandably, this sexual fantasy is high up on most men’s list of naughty thoughts. Oral is, unfortunately, an activity that not a lot of women engage in for personal reasons. However, they really should. As much as this male sex fantasy is an often spoken of topic, men just aren’t getting it, which is probably why they want it so badly!
The next step:
The best thing you could do for your partner? Surprise him with oral without him even asking for it! Bringing this fantasy to life for him will make his day, or even year, and have him thinking about it for weeks afterward. Feeling a little awkward about it? There are plenty of guides available online for every concern or thought that you may have. Just check out ours on how to give a sensual blowjob!
Anal sex
Truthfully, this is one of the men’s sexual fantasies that will probably surprise you the least. Yes, he wants to try anal sex, and he absolutely wants you to enjoy it. Anal sex is a popular sexual fantasy that experts believe is because it’s a novelty and considered taboo without it being “weird”. It’s a change in sensation, and many men may consider themselves to have finally made it in life after having tried it at least once.
The next step:
When being completely honest with yourself, you may find yourself considering anal a definite no-no, and that’s okay! You never have to try something you wouldn’t be comfortable with. However, if you and your partner want to give it a whirl, proper preparation is key to your enjoyment of it for both of you. Take time leading up to the “big day” experimenting and preparing yourself so that you aren’t rudely surprised. Do your research to set yourself up to have the most fun, safe, and pleasurable situation.
Exhibitionism
Sex in public or while being watched makes up the general definition of exhibitionism. Exhibitionism can also include the fantasy of being seen, heard, or even caught, which adds to the excitement and adrenaline rush felt when engaging in it. The idea of having some risky and hot sex in places that aren’t conventional, so to speak, makes up an impressive 82% of men’s and women’s topics of fantasy at some time or another.
The next step:
Wanting to engage in a little exhibitionism doesn’t have to mean doing something incredibly risky. Sneak a little makeout session at a party in a quiet spot, or discuss adding a “third party” to your next sexual adventure to act as a voyeur to watch as you get it on.
Domination
Domination is just one part of the BDSM umbrella and refers to the exchange of power between the one playing the role of the dominant and the one that surrenders their body being the submissive. Men’s sexual fantasies tend to include parts of this Dom/Sub relationship in the form of having control of their partner’s sexual pleasure. These sexual fantasies often include bondage, discipline, and other forms of exchange in power.
The next step:
This portion of BDSM can be taken as far as you as a couple consent. Oftentimes, these fantasies aren’t played out and are instead enjoyed in the form of sharing and talking about them while being intimate with your partner, but they can also be enjoyed thoroughly when they finally come to life. The only way to make this a fun experience for everyone is to discuss acts beforehand, making sure consent is given for each aspect of this male sex fantasy.
Roleplaying
Some sexual fantasies involve roleplay, which isn’t to say purely dress up and cosplay. These fantasies are often centered around roles and a storyline, such as a teacher and student, master and slave, and so on. Another form of roleplay consists of permanent roles that are carried out in most sexual interactions; these can be a master and pet exchange, for example. These are less scripted and allow each partner to delve into their role in a more natural and sustainable way.
The next step:
Want to get involved in the realm of roleplaying? It’s as simple as discussing a theme you’d like to try out with your partner and setting the date. It’s a good idea to establish a future date, giving you time to prepare for your role, particularly if it’s your first time. Heterosexual men tend to lean more towards a role in which they are the stronger individual encountering a gorgeous partner, which is good to keep in mind before you suggest he play the role of your pet bunny – which is totally okay, by the way!
Submission
This may come as a huge shock to you, but sometimes men just want to submit to their partner’s wildest fantasies. Men’s sexual fantasies may often involve being the domineering presence, but every man has a small spark of submission to their gorgeous partner, and they want you to abuse that. The man in this situation is a more passive presence and often fantasizes about being teased, taunted, and tied up.
The next step:
Take control. Make a mental note of when you plan to spring this surprise on him after chatting about what this fantasy is to him and make use of that change in dynamic. Make the time about you, your enjoyment of them, and watch as they gain immense pleasure as a byproduct of your satiation.
Novelty sex
Novelty sex is really just anything out of the ordinary, from having sex in the bathroom at a social event to changing up positions; this male sexual fantasy is different and exciting for everyone. Heck, after enough stagnant years, simply sex in itself may become the novelty in his wildest fantasies!
The next step:
Confused about what to try? This one requires some good communication and open-mindedness to discover what you as a couple would like to try and maybe even incorporate into your sexual routine. Novelty sex is often a once-off for some out-there ideas, but don’t be scared to use positions as a novelty and build up your collection of favorites together.
Being pursued
Do you think only women crave the feeling of being desired? Men’s sexual fantasies often are about his partner showing their interest in them. These fantasies are normally experienced by men who love the idea of a little ego boost from the sexy change in attitude of their partner, who may usually be reliant on him to initiate any intimate activities. This isn’t to say that he wants to be dominated by his partner per se, but rather wants to hand over the reins for the night.
The next step:
Give him a break from being the pursuer and take hold of the reins. Spark up intimacy and show him what you want instead of him needing to coax it out of you. This is as simple as voicing your desire or taking advantage of a kiss and turning it into something more.
Watching sex/Voyeurism
We’ve always subconsciously known that men enjoy watching sex since porn is geared a lot towards the male gender, but this male sex fantasy can often have subthemes within. Sometimes men find it particularly attractive to fantasize about women pleasuring other women, and other times they can enjoy the thought of watching their partner with someone else. Another significant turn-on for some men is the thought of their partner masturbating for them to see, which seems to be a very common imagined pleasure.
The next step:
This sexual fantasy is one that can go as far as you consent to with your partner. You can put on a show for them, getting dressed up and pleasuring yourself for them, or if your partner agrees to be more experimental, you can incorporate another person for you to flaunt while they watch and enjoy the show. The watching of porn isn’t ideal since men’s sexual fantasies should be experienced instead of watched, which is an unhealthy growing trend. Make time to be a little naughty for him and drag his eyes from his screen and onto you.
Final Thoughts On Men’s Sexual Fantasies
Sexual fantasies are exciting new ways to enjoy intimate time with your partner, so chat to them, find out what they’d like to put into practice, and embrace the exhilaration of recreating those fantasies together!
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