Masturbating Before Sex: Yes, No, or Indifferent?

Dec 6, 2021

Many people see masturbation and sex as two completely different things. This is why they might consider combining both of them to maximize the pleasure. Others might hope that masturbating before sex will resolve their sexual problems. 

Below you’ll find answers to the questions such as: ‘Does masturbating before sex make you last longer?’, ‘Should I masturbate before sex?’ and ‘What are the benefits of masturbation before sex?’

Things to consider if you’re a woman: 

Since women don’t have to face problems such as premature ejaculation, masturbating before sex might seem unnecessary. However, just like everything in life, it has both pros and cons that are worth considering. 

1. It can help you relax before sex

The point of masturbation isn’t always to satisfy your sexual cravings but to experience the release that no exercise and no bath can provide. Having an orgasm is like emptying your mind simultaneously to freeing your body of all the tension. This can help you enjoy sex even more, especially if you’re with a new partner and still feel self-conscious about your body. At the same time, it might make you feel lazy and less likely to put in the effort, especially since guys are the ones expected to take the lead. If you enjoy being an active participant and masturbation wears you off, coming before sex might not be for you. But if you want to feel a little more comfortable and boost your sexual confidence, as well as your libido, then it is not a bad call at all. 

 2. It can help you keep satisfied if you don’t have a great connection with your partner

We’ve all experienced sex so bad it discourages us from trying to save it with a good old vibrator. But an inability to make someone come doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not good in bed. Some women might find it hard to open up enough to let someone stimulate them in a way that would result in an orgasm. And there’s nothing wrong with that. For some women, sex might be an opportunity to experience emotional closeness without feeling too vulnerable or without committing to a relationship. On the other hand, masturbation increases levels of feel-good hormones that are released during sex, so you might find out that solo sessions are the only thing you need to be satisfied. See how you feel the next time you masturbate. If you’re feeling bouts of sexual frustration, masturbation can be the holistic medicine you need, at least until you can open up more to your partner and help direct them down the path to your pleasure.

flora dual ended vibrator

 3. It can increase your sensitivity

Many women’s private parts become more sensitive post-orgasm. This can be especially beneficial if you’re able to come multiple times in one session, as it can heighten your sensations and lead to even better orgasms. However, your vagina becomes too sensitive to enjoy the stimulation in some cases, and sex might no longer be on the table. Try masturbating a few times in a row and see how it affects you. If you find that it increases sensitivity in a good way, then hey, go for it!

4. It depends on how you feel after masturbation 

 Does bringing yourself to orgasm make you crave more sex or make you want to curl up in a ball and sleep? Some women might put masturbation and sex with another person in completely two different categories and feel even more aroused after they’ve touched themselves. For others, it all boils down to the chemical reaction in their brain, and masturbating can make them satisfied enough not to want any other type of stimulation. The key is balance, and it is your job to find this balance in a healthy and positive manner for yourself and your sex life. 

Things to consider if you’re a man:

A lot of men masturbate before sex in hopes it will help them last longer. But if you’re planning on making it your habit, there are a lot of factors you should consider first. 

1. It depends on your sexual dysfunction

Masturbating before sex might seem a great idea in theory, but it isn’t a good option for everyone. Sure, if you struggle with premature ejaculation, this practice can make you last longer, but if you don’t orgasm easily, masturbating before sex won’t do you any favors. However, even if premature ejaculation is your main concern, remember that it’s just a temporary approach, not a long-term solution. 

As you age, you might find it harder and harder to regain the erection after you’ve masturbated and start losing interest in sex. In addition, coming for the second time might not be as pleasurable, and your sex life might suffer. Before you start relying on a quick fix, try to get to the bottom of what might be making the dysfunction worse. Problems such as depression or thyroid issues, which can cause/promote premature ejaculation, can be improved with medication. 

2. It can help you relieve the tension

Whether you suffer from sexual dysfunction or not, the pressure to do well in bed can be affecting your performance. This might stress you out enough to cause problems with maintaining an erection or achieving an orgasm. If that’s the case for you, masturbating before sex can help you relax and allow you to fully enjoy the act. But first, you have to pay attention to your refractory period. Give yourself enough time to regroup before partner-based intimacy

masturbating before sex

 3. How long is your refractory period?

The refractory period refers to the recovery time you need to be able to have another orgasm. While some men can have sex again straight after ejaculation, most might experience heightened sensitivity that can be painful if the penis is stimulated too soon or might be able to perform but struggle to achieve another orgasm. Test how soon you can touch yourself again when you masturbate next time to find out what your refractory period is. 

 4. The type of your erection

Even though ‘getting hard’ is a synonym for an erection, in reality, it’s not always the case. Some men’s penises might be quite soft even when fully erected. If it’s something you’re struggling with, you already know how challenging it might be to keep it in that state, and masturbation before sex might make it extra difficult. Try to find the cause before you commit to a solution. 

Benefits of Masturbating Before Sex

Whether masturbating before sex is a good idea depends pretty much on each person and what they’re trying to achieve with that. But there are some benefits that might outweigh the downsides: 

 1. Less focus on orgasming

Orgasm is often seen as the goal of sex, but sex is a lot more than these few seconds at the end. If you focus on orgasming instead of connecting with your partner, you’re missing out on other sensations that are as enjoyable as climaxing; deep kissing, eye contact, hair pulling etc. Masturbating before sex allows you to get an orgasm out of the way and concentrate on the act itself. 

2. Better foreplay

 Similarly, if you rush to orgasm, you also rush the foreplay, which never ends well. Everyone likes to take things more or less slowly, and neglecting foreplay will impact both your and your partner’s pleasure, whether you realize it or not. Making orgasm a priority before moving on to penetration can prolong the intercourse and make it more satisfying in the end. Masturbation just might be the fix you need to practice more sensual foreplay

 3. It can help women who suffer from vulvodynia

Can you imagine anything worse than experiencing pain during sex? Unfortunately, this is the reality for a lot of women diagnosed with vulvodynia. The level of pain depends on each individual, but if it’s manageable, masturbation can allow them to warm up before sex and result in less pain.

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