“Masturbating at Work: Yes or No?”

Nov 30, 2021

Masturbating at work probably sounds risky, but it’s very common to find people masturbating on the job. It’s like a chance to explore what you love but with some restrictions. In Sept 2020, when Vice reported that Jeffrey Tobin, a New Yorker staff writer, had been suspended for having his penis flying out during a zoom call, there was a huge frenzy everywhere. Memes flying on Twitter and the hashtag “Zoom Dick” was something we never saw coming in 2020. 

Masturbating is a great stress reliever. If it’s something you’ll love to try, just read on! Don’t be surprised to know your colleagues are doing it. Maybe it’s the thrill of getting caught masturbating at work that keeps people doing it, or the fascinating idea of taking a toilet break to practice some self-love.

How Many People Masturbate At Work

Pool tables, a dry cleaning area, cupboards stocked with snacks are the few perks you may find in an office catering for the needs of its employees who will likely spend more than 40-60 hours at work every week. I mean, these perks are meant to make you feel at ease, right? Like you should never even go home? But are they sufficient? And what else can your employers provide to make you happy? Some people want more choices in snacks and sparkling water. For others, it’s a designated time for masturbating on the job that will make them happy.

Here’s a fun fact for you; Time Out New York studies suggest that up to 30-40% of people are found masturbating at work. Don’t be surprised at the results of how many people masturbate at work. Guess what? They are not just doing it because they are bored. Many people masturbate at work because it keeps their creative juices flowing and increases their productivity. It is nothing new!

Is Masturbating at Work a Good Idea

Should your office sanction anyone caught masturbating at work? Should fuck breaks be the next thing? Critics argue that it’s not good to masturbate, but no research says masturbating is bad for you. If anything, there are a ton of health benefits of masturbation. Asides from moral arguments, taking a few minutes of the day to touch those pleasure zones in your body can boost your immune system, improve your sex life and prevent cancer. What more can you ask for! Even though masturbating at work sounds like fun, allowing the practice can lead to inappropriate situations at work.

So is it normal to let your guard down at work? Of course! But that does not mean you should take down your pants during a work call. Nope!

masturbating at work

Why People Enjoy Masturbating at Work

Naturally, masturbating is a form of self-medication during stress and anxiety. In the middle, your senses are heightened, you feel less distracted, your eyes are crystal clear, and it feels like it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you. This may translate to getting in the act during work hours. For many people, it’s a coping mechanism to deal with and to stave off boredom. People’s reasons for masturbating at work range from looking for a way to brighten their day, a cure for a hangover, for momentary relaxation, an act of rebellion against a toxic work environment, and a few people claim they enjoy the thrill of breaking the taboo of getting erotic at work.

Possible Consequences of Masturbating at Work

Of course, there are consequences of masturbating at work, with discovery being the primary one. While this can cause you some level of embarrassment, that is not the only consequence. There is the problem of being accused of sexual misconduct. Getting caught for masturbating on the job could also be seen as indecent exposure. Either way, you could get your employment terminated and be sued in the worst-case scenario.

Tips for Masturbating at Work

Have you been sitting at your desk all day feeling tense and stressed about your work deadlines? You can relieve your stress by getting a quick orgasm. Sometimes when you need to masturbate, you just have to. Depending on where it hits you, jacking off might look hard – say you are in church, party, or at work. The latter is the easiest place to successfully get it done. Masturbating at work requires skills, especially if you are trying to keep it low from your co-workers. Thanks to technology, you can even find a wide range of sex toys disguised as tubes of lipstick or a necklace vibrator, perfect for slipping into the toilet without raising an eyebrow.

To avoid being overheard, embarrassed, to reduce anxiety, or even getting fired from your job, here are some tips for masturbating at work:

vibrating necklace
  • Be Cautious: Unless it’s a lunch break, you can’t go away for long from your workspace without it being noticed. Go below the radar and slip into some dick/vulva ninja mode. If you don’t want to get caught masturbating at work, you’ve got to be discrete about it.
  • Have an Alibi: In case your co-workers are asking why you were away for long, you need to have a strong, prepared answer. Say something like, “I ate something bad, and my stomach is really upset”. With this, you can trust me your colleagues won’t ask any more questions.
  • Choose the Best Spot: Find a spot where you can easily get off. The restroom is a safe bet to have a quick moment to yourself undetected. Go to a bathroom farthest away from your workspace and preferably on another floor to avoid questions.
  • Hygiene First: Is the restroom clean enough? If your answer is yes, then you can masturbate there. However, if you are not sure, you should have a rethink. While it might be fun and adventurous to masturbate at work, you should never compromise on cleanliness and hygiene.
  • Silent Foreplay: Getting off at work is not the time for sexy FaceTiming with your partner. Instead, listen to some erotic audio to get you in the mood. If you prefer to get your fix from porn, ensure you wear headphones and keep the volume off. 
  • Be Fast About it: Masturbating at work means you already have a hot fantasy in mind that you know will help you blow your mind and get you cumming real fast. Sneak in a small, incognito sex toy into your bag or pocket to get you going. Some vibrators are packed with amazing features that will allow you cum quickly. You can work on stimulating multiple erogenous zones on your body at once. No matter your plan, don’t delay. The faster you are in and out, the better.
  • Pretend it Never Happened: Wipe off every mess you might have made during orgasm. Flush it away. Splash some water on your face to wipe out that Fresh Fuck Glow. Walk out of the restroom without smiling. Act normal. Tell yourself; you were not just getting off at work; you just had an incredible idea to improve your company and only needed a break to work on it.

It’s a clear fact that whatever you choose to do alone behind closed doors of your work restroom is none of your employer’s business, provided you’re not doing it during work hours. So have fun, I say, because an orgasm break may just be the best way to kill it at work.

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