Making Love Vs. Having Sex. What is the Difference and Why does it Matter?

by | Nov 24, 2020 | Sex Education | 0 comments

Love Making Vs Sex. To some, making love and having sex are entirely the same thing, two phrases that can be interchanged without creating any difference in the meaning or context behind them. 

But to others, these terms maintain unique meanings, separate definitions that are reserved for scenarios and situations specific to the nature of which each phrase intends. 

If it is important to you that there are key differences between making love versus having sex, then chances are you are going to be viewing ‘making love’ as the more meaningful and relationship-centered of the two, and ‘having sex’ will keep a dirtier connotation.

So then why, if in the end, you are technically doing the same thing, are making love and having sex viewed with such vastly different perceptions?

Is there really any difference between making love & having sex?

That answer to this question is truly subjective to you and your beliefs. However, we believe that making love and just having sex are two completely different things altogether. Making love is such an intimate and passionate experience, whereas sex can be passionate, but the emotional aspect does not have to be there at all. Passionate sex and passionate love are not one and the same. If you feel like something has been missing in your love and sex life, this could be that incredible experience you need. 

And of course, why does it even matter?

Because no matter where you stand in differentiating the two, there are truths that maintain validity to the fact that in the end, maybe these terms really do deserve to be spoken upon and acted upon as separate deities, because sex is essential in life as a species. 

And to find a middle ground of both, a unique form of love making sex, will allow you to discover exactly why both are so important in your own love life, and how balancing the two out Is a key to preventing sexual frustration. As equally as important as it is to make love, it is to have sex. 

But making love is what makes us human. 

And maybe you aren’t sure of which one you have felt within your sex life, or how you can transition one further into the other. 

Maintaining a balance of making love and having sex is a great way to ensure a healthy love life within a relationship and also a keystone element in maintaining self-love and respect for yourself!


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Making Love Vs Having Sex.

When you hear the term ‘making love’, what kind of thoughts jump into your mind? 

If you envision moments of lustful passion between two individuals, slow kissing and gentle touches, then you are on the right track to understanding this meaning. 

Listen, you may think you know every technique, every part of foreplay, and all of the newest and coolest sex positions. All of this is absolutely so amazing, and keeps that fun spark going, however, that’s all just sex. Making love is a deeper, more emotional connection that is on an entire other level than just having sex. When you make love, you are bonding on an emotional and mental level with your partner. This is more than just physical attraction! You are showing each other how you feel about each other, that you love each other. It’s a connection that can’t be bought or forced. This connection comes with time, growth within the relationship, and mutual feelings towards each other. 

Many women and men enjoy making that connection with their partner during sex. It’s such an intimate time that can be incredibly passionate and satisfying. This deep drive to satisfy each other often leads to an amazing experience that is absolutely mind blowing. However, when you add in the emotional aspect of this sexual chemistry with someone you truly love, you’ll often find that extra something that we call making love begins to occur. You want to be with each other, you need each other physically and emotionally in that moment, and the desire for each other is above and beyond sexual. This is what we would say is making love. 

Generally, making love is a type of sex that happens between two individuals who have deeply rooted feelings for one another. 

When your passion for a person bubbles into the desire to showcase your feelings in a physical, mental, and of course spiritual means, then one of the only humanly ways to do so in an otherworldly manner is through intimacy and sex. 

When sex is built entirely on this intimacy, it then transitions into making love. 

Making love is a means to drive connection between two partners in a sexual setting. To strip away barriers of not only clothing but also emotion. Learning each other’s bodies in and out, every idiosyncrasy and little turn on through the discovery of sharing these timeless moments. 

And with discovery comes finding out new things regarding your deepest desires that you may have otherwise never known. And this usually only arises when you feel so comfortable with a person that you consider your moments together in bed to be making love.

Making love doesn’t necessarily have to happen between just couples, however, although it is usually reserved for those who consider themselves a unit, and if you are questioning if you are making love to your partner then simply ask yourself a few questions.

Does your sex create a deeper form of connection as humans?

Do you feel as though time has no meaning when your bodies are connected?

Is there passion and a need to get as close as possible not for your physical self but for the side of you that simply wishes to showcase a deeper meaning of love to your partner?

If your motivation is built on these bases and not to simply get off, and you maintain the sensuality that makes hearts beat out of chests while inside one another, then you are surely making love.

If you want tips on how to transition into more lovemaking than just sex, then you must think within yourself. There is no magical thing that you can implement that will turn your sex into lovemaking, and this must arise only from yourself and the person who your feelings are centered around. 

When in a sexual setting, think less of your goal to orgasm and more of the current moment, because making love only happens entirely in the moment. Just be present with your person and use sex as a means to visualize your love for them in a tangible manner that makes both of you feel good.

Make sure to add some light conversation built around the basis of how much your partner means to you and how wonderful they look, and don’t try and act like the next best porn star here. Making love provides feelings that are incredibly based on the way your mind and your body feels, whereas sex is directed more towards only your physical self. 


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Does everyone do this?

No, not everyone makes love. Some don’t believe in it; some may not be able to distinguish between sex and making love. Everyone’s intimacy levels are different, and everyone’s needs are very different. With that in mind, there is nothing wrong if you don’t feel the need to “make love” and are perfectly satisfied with sex in itself. Maybe you build your emotional bond another way. Either way, that’s totally ok and nothing is wrong with you. 

Just about anyone can have sex, but since making love is more sensual and intimate, not everyone may feel the mental and emotional capacity and capability to do that.. Making love is a more romanticized version of sex, a sort of upgraded kind. It’s kind of like getting all of the extra features, benefits, bells, and whistles, if you want to compare them side by side. Since sexual health is more than just vaginal and penis related, it’s important to know that if your mental and social well-being isn’t up to par, you will most certainly suffer in the bedroom. 


Having Sex 

Now think of the term ‘having sex’. Do your images appear to address this with different kinds of thoughts? Maybe the senses you associate with having sex are built off of a more erotic basis, fueled with the desire for pure sensuality through the search of climax and climax alone.

Quite literally the simple and intrinsic need to cum.

Having sex is a broad term, and it embodies more of the human inclination of the need to reproduce and the way that that drives our desires. We can’t help it, psychology is set in stone. Sex feels great, and having sex is a natural part of life as we all have probably figured out by now. 

The release alone that it provides us is completely worth pursuing, even when not in a relationship setting.

Having sex is all about physical feelings. Orgasms that aren’t built on love and are instead built upon the definitive ways in which another human being can make your genitals feel, far more scientific than making love. 

If you are having sex, then chances are it’s not the best sex of your life, as the connection isn’t quite as prominent, and making love will always win over.

With that being said, however, couples need to try and do both!

Making love is incredible and spiritually uplifting, but sometimes it’s just as important to have dirty, nasty sex as much as it is to make love. By maintaining a balance you are allowing both to become more special.

Having sex will feel better because hey, who doesn’t love being pounded (or doing the pounding) from the back? Every once and awhile screw connection and get down and dirty for some serious orgasm action. 

By doing so, the next time around when you make love you will realize the differences and how lucky you are to have both in your life, the intimate moments and the moments driven by the need to simply cum. 

The perfect balance of the two resulting in a sex life that is just as healthy for your body as it is for your state of being as a couple.


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So what is the difference between making love and having sex?

Sexual intercourse means something different to everyone. It is a natural thing to want to do, and is healthy to desire. Some people have sex to relieve their stress, while others enjoy it for the physicality of it. Regardless of why you enjoy it, know that there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. 

The idea of making love and having sex being the same thing is normal, but the reality is much different. Making love requires emotional and mental vulnerability. You share emotions and feelings that you may not have shared before. Many would agree that these two things are different. When you make love, you are sharing something unique and close with your partner. This bond is extremely intimate and hard to create, so when you do, it’s important to sustain it.

When you’re having sex, the role is a little different. You may or may not have a bond with that person, and it’s really about physical pleasure. There is nothing wrong with that either! You can have sex with someone you barely know, someone you don’t love, or someone that you are purely physically attracted to. All of these things are normal as well, so don’t feel shamed into needing to pretend to be something or be into trying or doing something that you’re not.

So how can you open up to making love?

Well first, make sure that you are with someone that you genuinely love and care about. Like mentioned earlier, you can’t force something that isn’t there, so it’s crucial to not try to make yourself or others feel something that isn’t really you or true. Now, if you are in love with someone and you want to try to open up further and build a bond, that is amazing and so exciting! Remember that being vulnerable in this kind of relationship is so helpful and important to building the future and dynamic of your relationship. 

Open up to your partner. Share your feelings and how you feel about them. Tell them you want to show them how much you love them. Then intimately work your way to the physical aspect. Make slow but precise moves. Focus your attention on them, and continue to tell them how much they mean to you. Foreplay is important, and the conversation is all part of foreplay!

Once you’re in the bedroom ready to go further than foreplay, take it slow. Remember, this is not about getting to the finish line. This is about physically and emotionally showing their value and worth in your life. You want to savor and enjoy every moment. Don’t forget to kiss and be sensual! Afterwards, cuddling and helping clean up goes a long way. Maybe take a bath or shower together. Show your love verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You’ll be shocked at the reciprocation.


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