How to tackle long distance bdsm? Can you even have this type of relationship? If so, how do you go about it? HELPPP! 

I know that’s what you’re screaming inside your head right now, and that’s okay. Just don’t get down in the dumps about it because you can totally pull a ldr bdsm relationship off. With a little more effort than usual… and modern-day technology, thank you Jesus, you can have your long distance dom sub relationship steaming with sexiness. Seriously. 

Let’s make a few things clear

When it comes to ldr bdsm… yes, that stands for long distance relationships BDSM… you have to have the basics covered. These basics get ever more important when you’re in a long distance relationship, so let’s be sure to make a quick list before we get into sexually dominating our partner that’s 1,000 miles away. 

• Communication. Yeah, I know, you’ve heard this word over a million times, and I’m here to tell you that communication in a relationship will never go away. If you want any kind of relationship to work and work well, you need to communicate the entire time. With ldr bdsm, you should take the time to talk to your partner and discuss all the issues that may arise during sexy time. Topic ideas that should be discussed are the time difference and how you’re going to make that work if there is one. What long distance bdsm punishments and rewards are you going to line up? If you need a few simple ideas for these ideas, check out the “Sexual Punishment for Long Distance Relationships” article for a little jump start. What equipment are you working with? These could, more importantly, should, be integrated into your ldr bdsm. A dildo, vibrator, or sex machine that you can control from online, yeah, you totally need that for the ultimate power play move. Lastly, maybe come up with some morning or nighttime routines/rituals that the two of you can abide by in order to feel more in sync with one another. Remember, you’re not physically there to comfort them or sexual play, so it’s strongly encouraged to make sure you voice your thoughts and feelings to one another while being in this type of relationship.
• Keep your sub busy. Yes, you can so do this from a distance away. Making sure your sub is occupied with a list of tasks you want photo proof for completion of will keep the long distance bdsm punishment system afloat. Surprise them with these tasks at random times, make them work for it even when they’re actually at work. Be a part of those morning or nighttime routines I mentioned above. Make them really feel like you’re there without being there. Totally make them use the remote control/computer-controlled sex toy you got them. This really is everything, folks. Modern-day technology, you have to love it, am I right?
• Be Patient. Being in a long distance sub dom relationship, you don’t normally count on being patient with your sub… but when you’re so far away from them and can’t be there to physically observe what’s going on, you never know what random event might pop up. Not being present during these times means that you’ll never be completely sure of the environment around your sub, so be patient with it. Give them some extra time, or a time frame in general, to get the punishment done for you. As hard as this may be, it’s taking extra care of your partner during these long distance times.

Take advantage of what’s around you

I could go on and on about the world we’re living in today. I mean, there’s a new Iphone out every 3 months, it seems like, with an even better camera somehow! This brings me to a great use of your technology and what it has to offer your ldr bdsm. Cameras! Yes, this piece of equipment is another perfect way to make sure your sub is completing the punishments you give them, and more importantly, they can still watch you. So it’s like they’re there, with a twist. Install the same apps on both of your phones after you agree upon doing so, that is, and allow the kinkiness to flow through your relationship. From video chat to an actual ring camera, you can literally have your sub partner install for you to be “right there” observing your every move. To hype things up a bit more, I will, in fact, tell you to get a remote-controlled sex toy of your choice. Yes, I’m saying it again because how could you not? Even if you’re not in a ldr bdsm and you’re just looking to spice things up in your long distance relationship, this is how you do it! This makes the connection to your partner real when you’re getting intimate. Make it go faster, slower, and completely rock their damn socks off like you’re doing the job yourself. Let’s not forget to mention the many different options for you to choose from. They have a whole swimming pool full of g-spot vibrators, c-spot stimulators, long distance couples sex toys; the list goes on. I know you’ve seen the vibrator that is controlled by a remote. It seems it’s on the rise in this generation, and more and more people are using it in public with their partners. Not to mention, technology is getting weirdly better every single day, so the next sex toy they come out with might just pick your fancy even more. Give what’s out there a go and see how each thing makes you and your partner feel. Voice those things, communicate and really get a feel for what you’re working with.

Long distance bdsm isn’t going to be easy for all of us, or maybe it’s right up some of your alleys. No matter what, it’s completely doable with the right equipment, communication, and enough effort. Use those couples sex toys to make the long distance relationship realistic and totally take advantage of the camera thing. Texting, phone calls, and video chats will be your savior. Set a time and date for everything you do. Make time for your partner around their schedule and have them do the same for you. If you care about your partner and make time for them outside of it all, there’s no reason why you can’t make a long distance bdsm relationship work. Stay thinking outside of the box like I know you can and will. Be creative with your punishments, and instead of feeling like you’re at a loss because you’re not physically present, take advantage of the situation and all it has to offer. When you are finally together in the flesh, you’ll appreciate every second of it even more than you already do.