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The Art Of Light Bondage.

We’ve talked about bondage and BDSM in depth on our blog before, but not all BDSM has to be super intense and scary. When you think of bondage, do you think of whips, chains, and intense rope play? Light bondage is a super fun and enjoyable way to dip your toes into bondage without going far.

Light bondage can be as simple as a blindfold or include hand and leg restraints. Light bondage can also include collars, and multitudes of sex toys to turn you on while playing and experimenting, such as butt plugs, clitoral vibrators, whips, and massage oils. Light bondage does not have to be intimidating or full on 50 Shades intense.

Most of us think that we maintain a fair amount of knowledge behind BDSM, the acronym that stands for ‘bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism’.

With its slight surge in popularity thanks to films and movies showcasing BDSM in its different forms, the vast variety of goosebump instilling, orgasm-inducing sex toys, and other props that go along with its enticing allure; BDSM is starting to find a commonplace in our culture.

 And although many past negative stigmas are beginning to dissipate surrounding this intricate yet riveting form of sex, this rise in popularity often creates some misconceptions surrounding this delicate act. 

The truth is that BDSM is incredible, a way in which you can succumb to all your deepest sexual desires, and those who participate in BDSM nearly always report healthier sex lives, as well as healthier lives in general! So if mainstream media has brought this enticing form(s) of sexual activity to your attention, as I mean come on; who doesn’t want to add an exotic spice to the taste of bedroom flavor, then you’ve come to the right place.

BDSM is meant to be taken extremely seriously, and if you are really (and I mean really) interested in giving it a try, then you must approach it with the respect it deserves for both yourself, your partner, and this age-old form of sexual activity in general. 

Don’t worry, you don’t need an entire room dedicated to your sex life, full of leather whips and toys and chains and all those cliche things that come to mind thanks to modern media. In fact, the best way to begin getting into BDSM is to start with the lightest forms of it only to progress when you are ready, so let’s get into the best approaches at incorporating light bondage into your sex life.

Having an open and fun sex life is an amazing key aspect to keeping a sexy spark going in the bedroom. Introducing some new ideas such as light bondage can quickly lead to you getting some new favorite things to add to your bedroom routine. Remember, bondage should be practiced and done with a partner you trust and know well, who will respect your limits and know your boundaries. You also need to openly communicate those limits and boundaries.

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Bondage is designed to push the limits of each person and make you experience a whole other side of you and your sexuality that you didn’t know you would like. These are fun activities and healthy to think about and enjoy. There is nothing shameful in enjoying or wanting to try BDSM or light bondage, so try to keep an open mind whether it’s you or your partner that wants to try this.

It’s important to remember that light bondage and full BDSM are totally different things, and the experience is different as well. Light bondage usually involves light restraints, blindfolds, light spanking, toys, and is designed to please both of you.

Bondage is only one element of BDSM, and BDSM involves many kinks, BDSM stands for “bondage and discipline”, “domination and submission,” and “sadism and masochism”. To be safe during BDSM, rules are very important and safe words and boundaries must be abided by. This includes talking out what you are and aren’t ok with, what is painful, what is pleasurable, and what means stop.

BDSM can be more about power play than actual penetrative sex. Sex is not always used for BDSM play, but many think it is. Always start lightly as BDSM has a lot to be explored. You may not want to get as kinky as others, so just explore what you really want to. You can work yourself up to it if you’re interested in more! Remember there is no pressure to try more, but just to enjoy each other and the sexy time you spend together.

Start with Nothing.

Again, most people think that they know a lot about BDSM, and this often creates the idea that things are going to be incredibly intense and rough.

Sure, this might be exactly what you want to do and where you want to get to in your relationship, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a plethora of other methods in which you can act out forms of light bondage with nothing but your own two hands.

Although fun and part of why BDSM is so great, you do not need toys to get into it, and instead it is sometimes better for yourself and your relationship to begin with nothing, especially if this is all entirely new to you.

Grip Tightly. 

When in the different sex positions that your partner and yourself enjoy, a great approach to first begin light bondage is to start with your grip. Your hands are plenty to create a dominant behavior, and the actual touch of skin will maintain intimacy during your beginning stages.

 During the sex positions that allow for easy access to the wrist, like doggy style or even something simple like missionary, grip your partner’s wrist tightly and prevent them from moving their arms. In doggy style, for example, you can wrap their wrist around their back and hold their arms in place behind them while their head rests firmly against the bed. 

And then, of course, holding tightly onto the ankles and feet is always a perfectly subtle form of light bondage control as well.

It’s all about starting to showcase the bits of control and dominance that will develop into more as you gain experience and comfort in these types of settings, and nothing is easier to control and to communicate than a tight grip of your hands.

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Light Bondage Choking and Gagging.

Many aspects of BDSM involve forms of choking and gagging that utilize BDSM equipment such as gag balls or chokers. Some collars even allow for a leash for complete dominant control.

But before getting into all of that, you should again begin with just your own hands and fingers. This greatly reduces feelings of intimidation and maintains the comfortable intimacy that you are used to that will then allow you to push yourself into kinkier acts.

Choking, however, should be done with an extreme focus on care and control.

The first key is to always maintain the highest level of possible communication with your partner, before and during your sexual encounter, that is going to involve choking.

You should absolutely take the time to research the proper methods for choking as well as the anatomy of the neck and work with your partner in a non-sexual setting to determine exactly the forms of grip that feel comfortable to them.

Start slow, only working your way into tighter grips when the communication says it is time, and always maintain an eye for safety in these situations, never letting things get too far.

Another great initial display of dominant behavior is the use of your fingers to gag your partner and slightly pull their cheeks. With forceful care, insert two to three fingers into the mouth of your partner while having sex, and have fun trying things like playing around with their tongue.

This will help them to get used to the feelings gagging and of restricted airflow before getting into more serious BDSM equipment.

Remember your safe word!

In bondage, you definitely want to have a safe word. This helps you establish boundaries and stop when you need to or feel uncomfortable. This safe word is used to protect you, especially when giving up control to another person. There are typically two types of safe words – a yellow word, which lets them know that you’re getting close to your limits, and a red word for when you are at your limit and need it to end right there. Make sure that both you and your partner understand these words and the limits that they convey you’re at. Once you’ve agreed to safe words and boundaries, you can have fun!

Light bondage to try – Blindfolding.

Blindfolding can be very intense. When one sense is taken, others are heightened intensely more than they may have been before.  When you can’t see anything, your body quivers and tingles in anticipation for every touch and slight movement. You can buy a blindfold, or you can use a silk tie, a t shirt. Really anything that covers your eyes and is gentle. When my ability to see what was happening was gone all I could do was feel.

Next thing – Verbal Bondage.

Do you want your man to take control and tell you what you can and cannot do? Allow him to be a dominant for a night. He can set boundaries and tell you where you must and must not be, or what you can or can’t do. You must listen to the rules, or you get punished for breaking them. This may be just for a night, but you also may be truly into this kink and want to implement it even further. He may want to make you play with your toys and edge yourself to an orgasm, but you have to stop when you get close. Likewise, he may want you to suck his dick until you are begging to get fucked, but not allow you to touch yourself or have sex with him.

Light Bondage and Spanking. 

Whips and chains, the cliches of BDSM that might pop into the imagination of the modern ‘vanilla’, the BDSM term for those whose sex lives are, to be put bluntly, boring!

But it’s true, whips act as a keystone sex toy for a dominant to maintain the control of initiating the euphoric pain. You do not need a whip, however, to start with the dirty fun that comes with spanking, and you can instead begin with total simplicity.

Spanking your partner with only your palms might not seem like something that falls under BDSM, but this form of light bondage and discipline absolutely is. Again, communicate and start low on your intensity to build the experience around your dominant behavior.

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The Best Sex Toys For Light BDSM.

Once you have played around using only your hands and body, then it is time to start playing around with ‘beginner’ BDSM toys. These toys essentially take the few methods of dominant behavior you use with your hands, and ‘up the game’, so to speak, by increasing intensity. 

Handcuffs and Light Ties.

You will know when it’s time to take the control entirely away from your partner, restricting the movements of their arms and legs to the fullest extent so that you can please them in any way you feel fit.

After practicing with constraint using your hands, it might be time to incorporate your first BDSM knots or handcuffs during your session.

Handcuffs are simple, an easy method to attach their wrist to the bed frame, but ropes are indicative of BDSM. 

So if you really want to do things right, order ties made specifically for this type of use and take some time to really learn the correct way to tie proper knots! 

Chokers and Collars.

An integrated part of the BDSM world outside of just the bedroom, chokers and collars act as fashionable, wearable pieces of BDSM equipment that are a great place to begin.

Once comfortable with choking with your hands, a collar and a leash can then add a heightened sense of control and take the dominant and submissive relationship that you are now used to and turn it up a notch.

Gag Balls.  

Never take air for granted again with a gag ball. Gag balls are the next step in a showcase of control after getting used to gagging and pulling the cheeks with the fingers. The next necessary addition to your light bondage toy collection.

Leather Whips.

You just won’t realize it until you try it, how good the pain of a beautiful leather whip can feel. Crafted for purpose, leather whips are designed to spank, and how they so perfectly caress the skin with a hint of pain to follow their touch is quite the upgrade from just bare hands.

When you are ready to, for the first time, smell the aroma of leather in a sexual setting and feel the skin like a caress as it is carefully tickled down your back until alas, it is pulled away from your body to meet it again with force as your lover flicks their wrist with dominant momentum; then there is no better introduction than that of a leather whip.

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Implement restraints.

Restraints can be so fun. From having your hands tied with a tie, to having a leg spreader bar, or being tied to the bed with easy restraints that are even available on Amazon. Combine that with a blindfold, and you’ll be begging and aching for more. You want to be sure that the restraints or handcuffs aren’t too tight and are easy to remove or cut. Silk scarves tend to tighten as you pull, so try to avoid those as they can hurt you if you’re pulling against them.

Communicating your desire for light bondage.

So why not give light bondage a try? When done right, it can be super fun and very sexy, and truly enjoyable for you and your partner to explore. Yeah, maybe you won’t love it, but you never know until you try. Always communicate as well, as some partners may not be open to trying this based on past traumas, so surprising them with it could be detrimental to their mental health. If they express their discomfort, respect their boundaries and wishes and allow them to be comfortable without this. If they are open to it, then jump right in! Research kits and restraints that are easily available, and most of all, have fun.