The spectrum of acts and occurrences that fall under the broad definition of bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism (BDSM) is a spectrum that is vast indeed. By vast, we mean that there are so many different approaches with how you can incorporate light BDSM into your sex life, as there really isn’t such thing as too much or too little!
Where there can oftentimes remain a certain stigma or assumption around BDSM play that creates images of rooms full of whips, chains, and a plethora of other similar BDSM toys and equipment, the truth regarding this is that it absolutely does not have to be that way to be considered BDSM. There exists such a thing as light BDSM.
The definition of BDSM will become entirely personal to you, and you may realize that simple spanking and light biting is plenty to keep you satisfied. On the other hand, light BDSM play may only create a lust for more. Again, never feel as though just because you do not have a room dedicated to this does not mean you cannot explore it.
If you have realized or determined that BDSM is something that you would like to learn more about and possibly pursue, then just like with anything in life, the best way to do so is to start simple and accelerate with knowledge and growth. There are so many facets of discovery within BDSM play, and it is so important to find out exactly what you like so that you can approach BDSM in a manner that fulfills and releases your desires while remaining safe and enjoyable.
Light BDSM.
When learning to discover BDSM, you are going to feel sexual sensations that you may have otherwise never felt before. A lot of it depends on whether you choose the dominant or submissive role, and if you are turned on through receiving or giving the pain, but no matter what, a newfound meaning to “it hurts so good” will surely be uncovered.
To be considered “light” BDSM play, this means that whatever you are doing must create some form of submissive and dominant nature between yourself and your partner and a little pain, but it doesn’t have to be intense and leave you bruised and battered.
Let’s get into a few methods and techniques that will help you to safely introduce light BDSM into your relationship or simply for yourself!
Light Bondage Starts With Communication and Research.
No matter what, you never want to jump into a sexual relationship and implement forms of BDSM with your partner without their full consent and knowledge. Not everyone enjoys the pain or the feelings of control or helplessness, and if your partner doesn’t want anything to do with it then you must respect them.
Start by talking about BDSM with one another before acting on it, and create a plan of some of the things (that we will go over below) that you can lightly add to your experience.
This way everyone is aware of the path to discovery, and during the process, you can maintain communication throughout so that you can genuinely learn yourself, your partner, the things you do and do not like, as well as your certain thresholds of pain and other desires.
Setting up a safe word is a wonderful way to ensure that, if things get going a little too intensely, you both can know to immediately pull back.
Research is also an essential part of learning to incorporate light BDSM play, as the world of BDSM spans far, and there is a huge community surrounding it all with tons of useful information to help you learn exactly why BDSM means so much to so many, and how to best approach it if you are new.
Toyless Sensations.
Before incorporating more definitive BDSM toys, it is best to start with a hands-on approach to get comfortable.
There are plenty of ways to offer sensations in line with BDSM that can be done only with your hands, and this helps to maintain a certain amount of intimacy that you might be used to so that you can more comfortably let go with experience.
Start with a light spanking of the buttocks by using your hands, and work your way up as you and your partner determine reasonable thresholds of pain delivery.
Place your hands gently around the submissive’s neck and very lightly begin to squeeze to initiate the choking sensation. Because choking might be new to you, you never want to go into it thinking that you need to restrict every ounce of airflow completely for it to act as a kink. A light grip on the throat will do just fine when starting.
A very subtle smacking of the face and a light insertion of your fingers into the mouth are great beginner introductions to light BDSM for a dominant partner to try out on a new submissive without crossing any lines, and a little bite on the ear while doing so will go a long way in terms of a turn on.
Handcuffs.
The wonderful aspect about handcuffs and light BDSM play is the fact that handcuffs do not necessarily hurt unless of course, you choose to crank them too tightly, and this allows you to begin exploring a more submissive state without fear of pain. This helps you to let go of reality and let your partner take complete control, part of the reasoning as to why we all love BDSM so much!
You can handcuff the hands behind your partner or onto the bed frame, but the key here is to begin showcasing your control as a dominant and introducing the ideas behind allowing the other partner to take over your experience.
Light BDSM Vocal Play.
A majority of the basis of BDSM is maintained through vocal domination, as in telling (or more so forcing) your partner to do whatever it is you may want them to. And vocal play is the perfect place to get started with creating this sense of a dominant relationship and for learning how to listen and perform as a sub.
You are using your voice, so you are in control of every little thing you say, allowing you to create your very own lines that you are careful to cross.
Start with a little dirty talk, and then move into consensual directions, controlling the sexual setting through your words. Maybe you want to tell your partner to masturbate in front of you or perhaps you wish to tease them with your words. The choice is up to you, and that is what is so enticing.
No matter what, have fun with your words and be creative with your approach as to using your voice as light BDSM play, because I can assure you that as you gain experience you will rely on your voice as direction even more, and practicing allows you to never feel awkward or held back from speaking from your true self.
