How to Tell Someone you don’t Love Them.

Sep 21, 2021

If you’re learning how to tell someone you don’t love them, you’ve come to the right place. Went on a date with someone and realized you aren’t that into them? Or have a partner who insists on telling you they love you when you’re not sure you do? Uh-oh! This can be quite an awkward situation. 

Don’t worry, we at V for Vibes have got you covered – here are a few ways you can learn how to tell someone you don’t love them if you find yourself in a pickle like the one we mentioned above. 

Before we dive into how you can tell someone you don’t love them, we need to let you know that it is completely okay not to reciprocate emotions if you do not feel them! Often women shy away from rejecting someone because they feel guilt and as if they would be doing something wrong if they were to tell someone they don’t love them. 

But we’re here to remind you that it is completely acceptable and understandable if you do not reciprocate the feelings of love that might have been professed to you by a current partner or a new potential partner. The important thing to keep in mind is to tell them! Don’t leave them hanging; no one likes being ghosted. Keep reading to find out how you can let someone down easy and to best approach saying I don’t love you. 

Treat them with Respect 

Remember that the person you are addressing is deserving of love and is worth that affection even if you do not reciprocate their feelings of love and intimacy. Treat them with respect and do not insult or say hurtful things to them. 

Let them down gently and with respect, do not patronize them and tell them you know what’s best for them. For example, instead of saying, “You deserve more than I can give you,” try saying, “I’m not ready for the kind of commitment you require, and I appreciate your honesty.” Give them the respect they deserve for being honest and open with you and for communicating how they feel towards you.

Remember that it requires a lot of courage and bravery to be vulnerable and that they have let their guard down in order to tell you and that you must respect that they did.

how to tell someone you don't love them

Remember, they are Human and will React. 

It’s the nature of the thing that you’re saying – rejection. It hurts even when it’s not done with the intention of hurting. When you tell your partner, whether you have been in a relationship for a few months or have just been on a few dates, they might be hurt even if you don’t say anything hurtful. Give them the space to respond however they choose to when you tell them you don’t love them and take it as a form of grieving or expressing hurt. 

This, of course, does not mean that you endure abusive situations. If you think your partner is not responding in an appropriate way to the news you have broken, and if they threaten or attempt to hurt you in response, you should immediately reach out to someone to ensure your safety. 

Instead, this means that if someone does not take it well that you do not love them back, it is merely a reflection of who they are as a person and no measure of what you deserve to be treated like. Remember that you are also walking away from the relationship because of reasons you know, and that perhaps it is in your best interest to see their reaction and remind yourself that you do not love them and that it is okay to not love someone back.

Be Open to the Reaction 

That said, keep in mind that there can be various reactions to rejection. Hurt, bitterness, anger, and grief are all valid as long as they are proportional to what you said. That is, nothing that is too violently aggressive or leaning towards being abusive is acceptable. Barring that, some crying is expected, some words that might be heated can possibly be exchanged, and some residual hurt might linger. All of these are acceptable and understandable forms of responding to rejection

Accept their reaction as it is, and remind yourself that you are not responsible for their reaction. Yes, they’re hurt. And yes, they are going to react to that hurt. And they are going to express that hurt, but that you are not the reason they are hurting, it’s just that rejection doesn’t feel good to anyone. 

Put yourself in that place and think of how you’d react to someone telling you they don’t love you. Give them the same kind of space you’d expect yourself to be given in that situation.

how to tell someone you don't love them

Gentleness and Kindness are the Keys 

It might be difficult to do and might even be heartbreaking and upsetting for you to do, but if you’re sure you don’t love someone, telling them is the right thing to do. Don’t leave them guessing and hanging, and nobody likes being ghosted, so the most mature and adult thing you can do in this unfortunate situation is to let them down.

The key to doing this in a respectful, calm, and collected manner is to do it as gently and kindly as possible. Know that you are going to hurt someone and that that is unavoidable. But to do it with kindness, to do it while respecting someone’s personhood and integrity – that’s the key here. That is what is important to most situations where love is unrequited and unreciprocated. Do not feel the pressure to coddle them and let them talk you out of it, but remember to be kind and gentle when you do let them down.

If you are comfortable sharing it with them, give them a reason and tell them why you think it won’t work out. That’s always better than guessing in our experience. Tell them that you can be friends and that you’d like their company, just not in a romantic manner. 

Or be open to the possibility of love and that it can grow into love one day, just not yet. Give them something to work with and yourself something to alleviate the pain, too. It isn’t easy having these discussions that require a lot of strength and bravery. But if you have chosen to do it – do it the right way.

Don’t Feel Guilty! 

This last point is just a reminder. Unfortunately, too many women feel like they are responsible for making someone feel loved and cared for, especially with regards to a romantic partner. There is no way for you to feel otherwise, at least not in the present moment, and that is completely okay and acceptable. 

You are not a bad person for telling someone you don’t love them. In fact, you’re probably very strong and reasonable, and mature if you have chosen to speak to them instead of ghosting them and not responding. But if you’re not into them, you’re not into them, and that’s the end of the story. 

Remind yourself that the nature of the situation is such that feelings will be hurt, and that it’s okay to not reciprocate feelings of love and intimacy, and that you are still worthy of love and attention, maybe just not with this one person. 


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular posts

5 Must Have Sex Toys for Gay Men.

5 Must Have Sex Toys for Gay Men.

Everyone wants a partner who can make the stars seem brighter. We all want someone who leaves us glowing and panting. This might not be the case. That’s why we need something extra to spice things up occasionally. One of the best things to spice up gay relationships...

Explore more

From Tokyo to New York: The Top Destinations on the World Map of Sex Cams.

Introduction to the world map of sex cams Step into a world where fantasies come to life and boundaries are pushed beyond limits. Welcome to the exciting realm of sex cams, where passion, pleasure, and play intertwine in ways you never imagined. Join us on a journey...

Guidance on Approaching Your Partner About Prioritizing Foreplay.

Foreplay is an important part of getting a good sex life, foreplay includes all kinds of behaviors to prepare for sexual intercourse, and promotes one's body to enter the sexual state more quickly. It is now widely recognized that foreplay includes activities such as...

7 Reasons Why the Best Adult Store Near Me is Online.

Today’s fast-paced world allows people to purchase anything from the comfort of their homes. If you are looking for an adult store near me, the best place to go is online. There are a plethora of reasons why people shop online for sex toys. The first obvious one is...

Body Oil for Sex – 7 Great Options to Choose From.

Nothing beats a good massage when it comes to feeling rejuvenated and relaxed. It’s especially during date night with your partner. Getting the best body oil for sex is a great way to take your sex night to a whole new level. You also get to create intimacy and...

5 Must Have Sex Toys for Gay Men.

Everyone wants a partner who can make the stars seem brighter. We all want someone who leaves us glowing and panting. This might not be the case. That’s why we need something extra to spice things up occasionally. One of the best things to spice up gay relationships...

Elevate Your Pleasure; Exploring the Sensational Tenga Egg and Why V For Vibes Egg Vibrators Reign Supreme.

When it comes to finding pleasure in your most intimate and exhilarating moments, there are options available that cater to different preferences. One unique and innovative product that has been generating quite a buzz is the Tenga Egg. However, for those seeking a...

Unleashing Desire; Hosting an Unforgettable BDSM Gathering with V For Vibes.

In today's world, we now have so much more freedom towards embracing all aspects of our sexuality and seeking forms of pleasure. In fact, it has become an important part of almost all modern relationships. If you're looking to inject a sense of adventure into your...

7 Amazing Sexual Wellness Toys for Women.

Sexual wellness can be described as a sense of joy and excitement. It’s about feeling a connection and pleasure to the desires, needs, and wants of your body. It can be achieved solo or by engaging with someone. Wellness is the pursuit of lifestyles, choices, and...

Calling University Students! How You Can Earn While You Learn!

Are you a broke student wishing you had extra cash? Guess what? You can totally make some extra money while you're rocking university life! Being a student opens up unique opportunities to earn some moolah and still keep your focus on your studies.    Whether...

5 Rose Sex Toys for Out-of-this-World Orgasms.

There are sex toys and rose sex toys. The former is a pale shadow of the latter. A rose sex toy is meant to satisfy you beyond your wildest dreams. All you need is to get one and use it. So, how do you choose from the many options on the market?   Like any other...