Dating online should be easy. No more do you have to physically go up to someone and think of something cool to say while they stand there looking back at you surrounded by their curious friends.
You don’t have to worry if you’ve got stinky breath or if your hair looks good. Dating apps, Tinder being one of the main ones, have brought us into a lazy dating age. We can choose our favorite photos to put on our profile; we can customize our profile however we want – to reveal how much of our true personality we want – and we can chat people up whenever and wherever we want.
Think of it like taking part in an online conference call from home; yes, the stakes are still high, but you’re way more relaxed. Saying that, though, starting a conversation is always a tough one. What else is there to say other than ‘hi’? Well, my friend, read on…
Can you just say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ these days?
I mean, you could, but in an ocean of potential dates, ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ don’t seem that impressive. It’s fine. It’s okay. But it doesn’t tell your potential date that you’ve put much effort in. What to add to a general hello? How about ‘How are you?’ Conversations don’t flow without questions, so ask a question to get the ball rolling if you’re the initiator. And show some creativity by stepping away from the mundane.
How can you stand out from the crowd?
While saying a simple ‘hello’ is okay, you’re not going to score sexy points with your date. Creativity is sexy, and it gives energy to the conversation before you’ve even started chatting. So think outside the box! Here are some ideas on how you can start a conversation on Tinder memorably:
- Ask a question about their profile or pictures: This is probably the best way to start a conversation and will earn you brownie points from your potential date. It’s flattering when someone asks you a question about yourself; it shows that you’re actually interested and not just sending hundreds of people the same message. If a photo features them doing one of their hobbies, even better, as they will love to fill you in on the things they enjoy and that make them, well, them!
- Ask them a ‘would you rather question’: If you can tell from their profile that they have a sense of humor, ask them a random, funny ‘would you rather’ question. For example: would you rather be fully clothed in a sauna or completely naked in a public pool? Or, if you’re in it simply for the sex, make it an even more erotic question!
- Ask an intellectual question: If you get intellectual vibes from the person’s profile, ask them a ‘thinker’ question, such as: What are there more of on the planet, doors or wheels? Or ask them about their views on science or literature. It’s really pretty simple!
- Tell them a compliment: Tell them if you think they’re pretty in that photo! Nothing gets a vibe going more than a compliment! Want more cute compliments? We got you covered.
- Send a GIF: You don’t have to send words if you don’t want to. Send a logical string of emojis to see if the other person can make sense of what you’re trying to say. Or you can even send a GIF. Cute, easy, and unique.
- Ask a random question: Like anything at all. Anything. The chances are that someone hasn’t asked them your question as a conversation starter on Tinder before. So be as random as possible.
How NOT to start a conversation on Tinder
So you have some ideas on how to start a conversation on Tinder, but there are some ways not to greet someone on the app. So, without further ado, here’s what not to do:
- Don’t just say ‘hi’: We covered this in the beginning, and we established that it’s okaaay to just send a quick hello. But avoid it if at all possible. And it is 100% possible.
- Don’t use their name at first: You might think of it as personalization. But other people might find it creepy because you haven’t even spoken to them yet. Avoid using someone’s name until a little bit into the conversation, at least.
- Don’t get sexual straight away: You don’t necessarily know what someone is looking for on Tinder until you ask them, so avoid anything of a sexual nature straight away – even if someone explicitly says that they’re looking for FWB on their profile.
- Don’t over-message: Send one or two messages maximum. If the person doesn’t reply, don’t bombard them with more. Creepy alert!
- Don’t ask for very personal details: Nothing says a red flag more than asking for someone’s address, date of birth, or full legal name. You don’t need to know these things until you marry the person.
- Don’t ask heavy questions about marriage, babies, etc: You might be keen on starting a family, but it’s not really light dating material. Keep the topics light and easy.
- Don’t be offended if someone doesn’t reply: Nobody owes you anything. So even if you send them a really lovely, creative message, they don’t have to reply. That’s just the nature of the game. Don’t get angry and send them a passive-aggressive message. Move on to someone else.
- Don’t message everyone the same thing: Nothing says laziness more than sending a hundred girls or guys the same message. Just because there are one hundred people plus on Tinder, it doesn’t mean you should message them all. Only message people that you actually would like to date. Do that, and you’ll want to tailor your messages to them. Don’t let the idea of ‘online’ take away from the effort that should go into dating. Besides, personalization is the key.
Starting a conversation on Tinder can be easy or anxiety-inducing. Don’t worry; just be yourself and be creative. Be confident and try to show who you are in your very first message. Anyone can say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’, and that’s not going to impress anyone. Look at the person’s profile and tailor your message to them. Think outside the box, be tasteful and interesting. If you do that, you’re sure to get a reply. What a good first message can’t guarantee is if your date in person will go well or not. But it can set your relationship off to a good start!