When I sat down to write this article, I naturally considered all the tried and true tips for how to make sex better. You know, turn on a cool playlist, dim the lights, and wear something flirty. But I know you’ve heard it all before, so I decided to blow your mind instead. These are definitely not the same tips you’ve heard from every women’s magazine for the last 30 years. If you’re down for some creative strategies, read on to see how to make sex feel better for you and your partner:
Smoke Weed.
Yeah, really. Cannabis and sex are like peanut butter and jelly. If you’ve smoked marijuana before, you know the power it can have for lowering inhibitions. You may think this sounds a lot like alcohol, and sure throwing back a few drinks can help in similar ways. But unlike alcohol, it doesn’t act as a depressant. Ultimately alcohol seems to detach you from your reality. And while detaching from reality sounds like a great thing for a Friday happy hour after work, it’s unideal during sex. When you’re looking for ways how to make sex better, lowering inhibitions is great but detaching from reality isn’t.
Engaging in cannabis prior to sex is a great way to really get in touch with your body and your partners. More studies are coming out showing that marijuana can make orgasms feel more intense. This makes sense as cannabis generally turns up our physical sensations while also lowering our inhibitions. Simply put, when we’re high, we allow our bodies to feel more pleasure.
So you’re ready with your marijuana and a desire to learn more about how to make sex better- what now? Make sure you have THC to get you the full effect. While CBD does a lot to calm the nervous system, it won’t give you the intense full-body experience that a higher THC strain can give you. Look for a THC heavy strain in a Sativa or a hybrid blend. Start small and move up gradually. If you’re into edibles, make sure you take yours prior to your sexual escapades, as they can take a while to take effect. If smoking is more your vibe, take some time to connect with your partner prior to sex with an outdoor smoking session.
During sex, remember to let go and enjoy the journey. Too much marijuana, or a lack of experience with it, can make people anxious. Take things slowly, enjoy what your body feels like at the moment, and learn to get comfortable letting go to embody your physical experience. This is not the time to chase an orgasm. Release your attachment to a happy ending and let your body unfold naturally in pleasure with your partner. Cannabis and sex may soon be your favorite way how to make sex better.
Tips to Remember:
- Sativa or Sativa heavy hybrids are the way to go.
- If you’re into edibles, take them in advance.
- This isn’t the time to orgasm chase; let it happen naturally.
Perform.
Performing with and for your partner is a great way how to make sex better. Even if you never were in drama club, you can still enjoy the pleasures of performance during sex. Performance can look several ways, and it’s important you make it personal to you. Anything from a singing number to strip tease counts as ways to make sure all eyes are on you. Even better if you can perform with your partner. Create a dance together, sing a duet, or role play as characters in an improv scene.
How does this actually improve sex? Performance is a way of creating more intimacy between you and your partner. When we’re looking for how to make sex better, it’s crucial that we get used to being intimate with one another. We’re really sharing a part of ourselves when we perform, and when our partner participates, they get to see what we’re sharing with them. Admiration is a key component in creating intimacy. When intimacy goes up, so does the quality of sex. Instead of the quick orgasm-seeking 20 minute session, intimate sex can be a much longer and more enjoyable experience.
Performance is a great way how to make sex better- but make sure to pick a performance that feels comfortable for you. If you love to sing, pick a beautiful song and serenade your partner. If you’re more into comedy, create a small stand-up routine. There’s no right or wrong way to perform. You just need to be honest with yourself and let yourself be seen by your partner. If all of this seems way too horrifying, ask your partner to perform with you. Connecting with them in vulnerable ways is a great way to foster intimacy.
Tips to Remember:
- Pick a performance that makes you feel good.
- Let yourself really be seen by your partner.
- Ask them to join in if it seems overwhelming.
Meditate.
If you would’ve told me when I was first trying to learn how to make sex better that one of the answers would be meditation, I would’ve wanted to run in the opposite direction. Meditation is hard enough for many without the added pressure of making it a sexual expression. If your head constantly runs with anxious thoughts, you know how hard it can be to calm them down. Meditation with a partner can be even more challenging. If you’re up for it, though, meditating with your partner is a great way to cultivate near tantric levels of sexual excitement.
Why does it work? Well, just like anything else, connecting vulnerably with your partner creates intimacy. Meditating with one another is a form of spiritual intimacy. Even if you’re not religious, spending quiet moments together, visualizing, and breathing are all still great strategies to connect with your partner. If you do nothing else besides calming your pre-sex anxiety, you’re already working on how to make sex better for the both of you. And even more importantly, by calming your pre-sex jitters, you’ll be working on how to make sex feel better for you. You deserve to feel calm and centered in your sexual pleasure.
If you’re ready to step it up, look up some guided beginning tantric partner meditations. There’s some available online that can let you strategically curate an experience with your partner together. When you’re ready to go “off script”, work with one another to create your own guided meditation experience. Consider utilizing paired breathing to sync up your breath. You can also use visualization to imagine different spaces of your body glowing and buzzing with energy. When you’re ready to integrate touch, be mindful of how both your body feels touching them and how their body feels touching you at the same time. Mindfulness allows you to fully escape into your sexual experience and enjoy intimate sex.
Tips to Remember:
- Start slow and find a guided meditation if you need it.
- Use strategies of breathing and visualization.
- Be present in your body while touching.
So get creative and try out something new!
Hopefully, you’re finding new ways how to make sex better that you haven’t considered before. When you start seeing sex as merely an extension of emotional intimacy, you can see that really anything can be foreplay. As long as you are working to be more vulnerable with your partner and they’re doing the same in reverse, you’re ultimately working on how to make sex better too.