Sex and Confidence- How to ‘Feel Yourself’.

Jul 21, 2021

Have you been feeling as though your libido is dwindling, the lust for sex slowly dissipating away? If you want to know how to increase sex drive, you might want to look into the level of confidence you feel for yourself and address how you can improve this integrated aspect of self-love and sex.

Sexual confidence and personal confidence are all too intertwined; your ability to accept yourself and be proud of who you are affecting nearly all idiosyncrasies of life. 

In the eyes of those who have confidence in themselves, in their body, and in their capacity to feel pleasure and give it, they might not realize the negative impact of poor confidence and sexual health. This is especially significant in relationships where one person is genuinely confident, and the other is not. 

Whereas those who lack confidence will understand how essential it is to thrive in your sex life, and how poor confidence can so easily make you not want to have sex. 

So if you want to know how to increase sex drive, let’s get into the various ways of which boosting your overall confidence and self-esteem will act as excellent resources to boosting libido, translating into the hot, orgasm-inducing sex we all want and love. 

What is Sexual Confidence?

Sexual confidence refers to:

  • How we do or do not accept our body
  • Our sense of worth and what we bring or do not bring during sex
  • How we connect intimately with ourselves and to others
  • How our view of sexuality will affect all the choices we make
  • Who we choose to have sex with and when
  • If we limit ourselves sexually and how,
  • Whether we choose to use protection or not.

The more we control this sexual confidence, the more we will be fulfilled in bed and able to proclaim aloud what pleases us and directly evoke what bothers us. 

Therefore, it is our great interest to take care of our self-confidence so that it grows simultaneously as our pleasure.

When you are not comfortable with your body and your sexuality, it is often distressing and unsettling to deliver what is most intimate: your nudity, your desires, your orgasms… and lack of confidence hinders all stages of the romantic encounter, starting with seduction. 

How do you show your pure sexual desire to another being when you don’t love yourself and when you are paralyzed at the idea of exposing your nudity, worried about your looks or your “flaws”? 

How do you follow your deepest desires if you do not assume yourself as you are and are not connected to your body and sensual sensations? 

How do you indulge in jouissance if you are petrified by your complexes, the fear of judgment from others, or the inability to make them cum? 

These questions underline how sexual confidence is not anecdotal: instead, it is essential to surrender to desire and pleasure fully.

how to increase sex drive

Sex and Confidence

These are the significant aspects of sex and confidence, and also confidence and general. Understanding these aspects of confidence is the first step in answering how to increase sex drive, as you must focus on each of these subsets to determine the steps needed to feel good about yourself from the inside out.

Body image is a person’s attitude towards their body. They understand the mental image of how they see themselves when looking at themselves in the mirror, how they feel about their appearance, and how they think others see them.

Self-esteem is the value and respect that a person places on themselves. It’s about how they see themselves as a whole person, not just how they see their body.

Self-esteem is the opinion that people have of themselves in all aspects of their body and existence. It influences the way they take care of themselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

Different factors can influence our perception of ourselves and our bodies, and we do have power over some of them. Furthermore, not all people are equally susceptible to these factors. The way we react contributes to the development of our self-esteem and our body image.

A person’s satisfaction with their body is related to the overall sense of self-worth. This satisfaction plays a significant role in the way the person feels and sees themselves. Positive perception of the body is essential and can be learned and grounded from an early age, but if you’ve been missing out on it, it is never too late to change. 

How does Body Image Develop in Early Childhood? 

You might not realize, but the relationship between sex and confidence starts at quite a young age. You might not be thinking about how to increase your sex drive then, but you are indeed establishing a baseline of personal confidence that will direct a significant portion of your future. 

With children, the important people around them, such as their parents, grandparents, and educators, primarily influence a toddler’s bodily perception.

The experiences they have with people close to them, the comments they hear, and the attitudes they perceive regarding the body have a significant impact on the development of body image. 

The environment available to them, the toys and books offered, and their activities also impact this aspect of his development.

 “By being on the lookout for the gender stereotypes around us, we can create the optimal conditions for our child to develop a strong positive body image.”

One crucial element that influences both significant adults and the environment of toddlers is gender stereotypes. This can mean that adults act differently with girls and boys and that the environmental impact is not the same for children depending on their gender, hence why body image can develop differently in girls versus boys.

The Importance of the Sexual Imagination

Sometimes, a lack of being able to follow through with sexual fantasy leads to poor libido. Therefore, acting upon your dirtiest desires is an excellent step in how to increase sex drive. 

The sexual imagination is anything a person can fantasize about or imagine that will actually trigger arousal. 

Frequently, it is the arousal caused by touch or sight, for example, which will provoke a flood of images and scenarios with a sexual connotation. It is crucial for a woman to know how arousal works and to be aware of the differences in arousal between the two sexes, and how this might affect sex drive. 

Primarily significant at the start of her sex life and/or during a new relationship, this will allow her to avoid feeling guilty, stressed, or seeing herself as a “sexual failure” because she does not achieve arousal based on specific cues. Instead, arousal is achieved when it should be (which is a personal definition for all of us) and at the correct times. 

exercises for better sex

Sex and Confidence: Tips for How to Increase Body Confidence and Develop Sexual Confidence 

In bed, too, self-confidence can be learned and acquired. In summary, here are some tips to stop worrying before you act out, especially if it’s a new partner.

Do not be your own enemy

Stop blaming yourself for not being thin enough, not having a big enough penis, having breasts too big or too small, for being too this or not enough that. 

Let yourself live, and do not try to compare yourself either (although, sometimes, comparing yourself can help console yourself)!

Build on your strengths

In front of the mirror, instead of devaluing yourself, try to compliment yourself. 

Yes! Send out the criticism that lies dormant in you, and notice everything you love about yourselves and all the beautiful details that make you unique. 

Identify what makes you feel good

Cultivating good self-esteem does not just come down to physical appearance! 

Living in harmony with our values and having them reflected in our work, hobbies, moments of relaxation, interpersonal relationships, and goals are great ways to feel fulfilled and, therefore, more confident. 

Make a list of what increases your well-being, what you enjoy doing outside of sex, and put it into practice. This will help answer how to increase sex drive by using confidence and happiness as a driving force.

how to increase body confidence

Do not seek performance

If you do not “last” more than 5 or 10 minutes, do not freak out. You will do better tomorrow or the day after! If this has been happening for some time, obviously consult a specialist. In the event of persistent sexual disorders, there are different solutions, medicinal or not.

Live in the present moment of your sex life

In other words, treat the one who is already in your bed (or elsewhere) and stop believing that you will be their “worst move” of the year. Do not worry about your past “mistakes,” and stop polluting your present with facts that may only exist in your head…

Show your body

Choose materials that you like to touch, colors that flatter you, cuts that don’t hide your shapes. The objective is to eroticize the body to make it exist in your eyes and in the eyes of others as the sexy being you are. 

The less visible a body, the less desirable it is. It is not perfection that makes one attractive, but it is presence, assumed, and valued.

Masturbation frees your sexuality

For some people, it’s easy to get horny and indulge in the fun. For others who are shyer or have less libido, it can be more complicated.

The best way to have an orgasm is to know your body first!

Then you usually have to feel confident enough to let go. Masturbation is one of the best exercises for better sex, allowing you to feel freer with your sexuality and to apprehend it during sex better. This is a keystone tool in how to increase sex drive and enjoy better sex. 

Free yourself from sexual injunctions 

At present, we are bombarded by injunctions that parasitize our sexuality:

  • The penis must be such a size.
  • The labia minora must not embody perfection
  • Hair removal must be complete.
  • We must make love at least three times a week and enjoy it every time. 
  • Don’t have too many sexual partners for fear of looking like a slut… 


Be yourself, do whatever you want, regardless of what people around you think or how they respond. Being well in your sexuality also means acquiring the independence of choosing what suits you best. The best way to cater to sex and confidence is to be confident in your choices and realize what makes you sexually happy. 

Take dedicated, intentional steps to raise your personal confidence, asking yourself how to increase body confidence in a way that makes YOU happy, and libido will surely follow. 

As well as boosting confidence, there are many other methods of how to increase sex drive, such as eating the best foods for sex, taking the right vitamins, exercising, masturbation, and even sex therapy. 

Not only will these strategies aim to increase libido, but they will directly increase confidence as well, a serious two-for-one in terms of how to increase body confidence while also increasing sex drive. 




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