“Being horny” is a biological response, and it is with this response that human beings are instilled with the task to fulfill this rather hard to ignore an itch. When you are horny, you want sex, and the result of sex is (at least hopefully!) the orgasm that alas satisfies and sends away this motion.
That is, at least until it’s time to do it again!
But the sexuality of human beings is entirely personal and unique to each of us, so where some of us have no problem with feeling horny and wanting sex, others have difficulty.
Navigating our sex drives to match the times of which ourselves and our partners feel horny is tricky, especially when one of your sex drives is far greater than the other’s, but there are indeed strategies that do exist of which can help you to get horny fast so that you are both sexually satisfied in your relationship.
How To Get Horny Fast Tips
Understanding Your Sex Drive
If part of the reason you are searching for answers on how to get horny fast is the fact that you are frustrated at yourself and your partner’s different sex drives, then you first have to tone back and view this situation with understanding.
Although our sex drives are our own, we don’t really have control over them, as there are factors both external and internal that influence this greatly. Don’t let your frustration continue to push your sex drive down, and instead remain empathetic in their feelings, albeit different than your own.
The SES and the SIS
There are two things that drive our sex drive: The SES and the SIS.
The SES is known as the ‘sexual excitement system’. SES drives the physiological response of ‘becoming horny’ through triggers that make you sexually excited. Something like seeing an attractive individual or a certain way your partner kisses you in the morning. SES is, essentially, anything that turns you on!
The SIS, on the other hand, is quite the opposite, as this is known as the ‘sexual inhibition system’. These are environmental and personal triggers that turn you off and lower your sex drive. Think stress, anxiety, a negative sexual history, or even something simple like a hard day at work.
In general, men are more affected by the sexual excitement system, and women deal more with the sexual inhibition system.
So if your partner comes to you and they are feeling horny, and you are quite the opposite, by first recognizing that their sex drive is indeed controlled by these factors very much out of our control, and that is driven by nothing less than pure biology, this may help you to empathize with the way that they are feeling, as it is easy to shun them away when you aren’t on the same page.
It can be stressful when your partner wants sex and you don’t, and this stress causes a downward spiral of falling even further for the SIS.
Instead of allowing yourself to fall completely to your SIS, just know that your partner wanting you is a good thing, and even if you aren’t currently feeling in the mood, use the fact that they maintain a pure desire for you to instead focus on benefiting your sexual excitement system, as an awareness of allowing yourself to feel good about the things that turn you on is a first step to getting horny fast.
How to Promote the SES
If the SIS is a driving force behind a slow sex drive, then you should clearly focus on ensuring that the sexual excitement system (the SES) is then instead catered to and focuses on.
By taking the time to pinpoint the things in life that tend to drive your SES into full gear, you can then use this knowledge to help get you horny fast even when you aren’t feeling fully like having sex.
It starts first with sitting down and asking yourself questions that require honest answers. You know yourself best, so where you currently stand in your sex life what are the things that tend to turn you on?
Identify those things, take mental (or real!) notes, and then work on figuring out how you can incorporate those characteristics into your relationship and sex. It might take a little work, but don’t let the intentional nature of it make you feel silly and shy you away from following through.
Once you have identified a few things, some of them may require the help of your partner, and conversation is always the best place to start.
Let’s say, for example, there is a particular kind of cologne you know for sure that turns you on. Oh, and on a quick note, don’t get wrapped up in wondering why something turns you on, as this never does any good, and simply accept it and appreciate it for what it is!
Anyways, back to the cologne. Should this be the case, then all it takes is letting your partner know about this turn-on and talking them through your sexual idiosyncrasy. Letting them know provides them the opportunity to then cater exactly to what you like, and chances are the next time your significant other is in the mood, you’ll smell a waft of the enticing aroma that so drives your desire for sex.
And cologne is just an example. This can be the case for literally anything, so remember:
- Identify aspects of your SES
- Figure out how they can be applied to your life
- Talk with your partner about the said application
- Enjoy getting horny fast!
Exploring yourself Sexually
Exploring yourself sexually is another extremely important aspect of your sex drive. There are things that make us want sex on a biological level, but human beings nowadays mainly use sex as a means to derive feelings of pleasure into their life.
Because sex is now all about pleasure, which is an awesome thing, you should then aim to of course promote these pleasures in a sexual setting as much as possible. But discovering what those pleasures are can feel a little intimidating, especially with a partner, and this intimidation drives the downward spiral of losing your sex drive, as your mind will be focused on other things.
Sometimes the best place to start with sexual discovery is simply with yourself, and by yourself.
Take time to experiment with different sex toys and different positions, figuring out the kinds of physical stimuli that turn you on the most. A certain vibrator, perhaps, pleases your clitoris just right, a speed track to being completely turned on. If that becomes the case, which can only happen with experimentation, then you should absolutely think to incorporate said sex toy into your partnered sex.
You might have to walk your partner through these physical pleasures, but don’t worry, as just one time and they will surely never need your direction again, seeing how much the acts please you lending for the desire to repeat exactly that.
As well as discovering your physical pleasure and incorporating this into your sex life, you should also make sure to work on your mental pleasures. What are things that deep down you know you like?
Perhaps it is talking dirty. Maybe there is a certain kink that you have always secretly wanted to try, something like a little bit of roleplay. If you aren’t sure of what this is, first of all, allow any barriers of sexual stigmas to fall, as it is not only normal but highly suggested to follow through with your wildest desires.
All of these things will make you horny so much faster in a sexual setting, and your partner will also benefit from this added drive, themselves becoming hornier at your positive response, allowing for the best climaxes to be had for both.