Self-Compassion for the Win: How to Forgive Yourself.

Oct 29, 2021

If you’re learning how to forgive yourself and you keep getting stuck, let me be the first to forgive you for your challenges with self-compassion and compassion in relationships. If loving yourself and learning how to forgive yourself was easy, more people would do it. It’s ok to have a hard time with this gracious act, and it’s ok to be on a gentle path towards healing. So how do you forgive yourself? Well, take your time, be gracious with yourself, and work your way gently through these steps. You got this!

  • Why is forgiveness important?

Regular practices of forgiveness make for #relationshipgoals.

Hopefully, you know the benefits of forgiveness in relationships. Setting down an argument and moving forward is key to any long-term success when you’re in a relationship with someone, and it also promotes trust and compassion. Despite appearances, learning how to forgive yourself is normally a more significant part of the struggle than we think. When we don’t forgive ourselves, we are more likely to project our discomforts and hurt feelings onto others. If you haven’t learned how to forgive yourself, odds are you may be putting your partner in uncomfortable situations, sometimes without knowing you’re even doing it. 

Loving others starts with loving ourselves.

While we can try our hardest, we can only love others as much as we know how to love ourselves. And if you’re stumped on forgiving yourself, you’ll be stumped on forgiving anyone else who comes into your life. Let the buck stop with you and learn to both take accountability for your actions AND let yourself off the hook. You may have wronged, but YOU are not wrong.

  • Know you came by it honestly. 

Who you are, is never “wrong”.

The world is simply not a forgiving place just yet. Odds are your issues with forgiveness came from somewhere. From grade school, we’re told we’re “wrong”. And while our behaviors may hurt others, who we are as people isn’t “wrong”. If you ever felt shamed, called out, disregarded, or picked on- you know this feeling. These shameful feelings create a poor self-concept and self-worth. You may feel hopeless or anxious. They can really add up to some real problems. 

how to forgive yourself

Break the cycle.

And you’re not alone. Child-rearing practices have changed a lot in the last decades. As a society, we’ve seen the results of our actions. If you’re learning how to forgive yourself, you’re going to be an agent of change, and it may feel like you’re the odd man out. Rest assured, there are more people every day that are beginning their journeys of healing and self-forgiveness.  

  • Practice it in small places. 

If you’re learning to play basketball, you start with dribble practice before going to slam dunks. Like any new skill, baby steps are a key to long-term success. Getting comfortable working on how to forgive yourself in small situations will make it easier to work on the bigger ones. Check out this chart with some practical places you can make some small shifts in your self-compassion game. 

Small Shortcomings and Forgiving Responses

 

  Stubbed your toe

“I forgive myself for putting myself in harm’s way. I will help myself better next time by looking where I’m going.”

  I ran a red light

“I forgive myself for running the light. It’s ok to make driving errors. I’ll work on stopping faster next time.”

  Late for a meeting

“I forgive myself for being late. I’m grateful I got the time I needed. Next time I’m going to try and leave earlier.”

  Broke your phone

“I forgive myself for breaking my phone. Technology isn’t more important than my self-concept. I’m going to try and hold it differently next time.”

  Overeating a meal

“I forgive myself for eating more than I wanted to. I’m grateful I have this opportunity now to check in with my body. Next time I’ll check in a bit sooner, so I don’t feel uncomfortable.”

how to forgive yourself
  • Find gratitude for your mistakes. 

Be grateful for the lessons.

One of the ways we can learn how to forgive ourselves efficiently is to find gratitude in our errors. When we do something we don’t like, we simply learn something we don’t want to do anymore. Learning lessons isn’t a moral process. We wouldn’t continue shaming a child if they didn’t know how to tie their shoes. We’d encourage them to continue by celebrating the learning they’ve done already. Speak to yourself as kindly as you would speak to the ones you love. 

Haven’t learned it yet?

If you’re stuck on finding gratitude for what you’ve learned, that’s ok too. If learning how to do new things was easy, we’d all be geniuses. It’s hard work. Sometimes the lesson you may be learning is simply the tenacity to keep trying to figure something out next time. No one learned astrophysics in a day, and no one learned to fix all their life’s problems in one moment either. Find gratitude for your learning journey, as many stops as it takes along the way. 

  • Make it a proactive practice. 

Integrate into the lessons you learn. 

When you do learn something from your journey on how to forgive yourself, use that information. Do something different next time. Forgiving yourself opens doors to new experiences and second chances. Let yourself try again and integrate the new information into your practice. Walk slower around the corner next time, buckle your seat belt before you get in the car, don’t wear white and eat buffalo wings. Whatever lesson you’re learning, changing your behaviors can only come after you’ve learned how to forgive yourself.

Affirmations help create “self.”

The best lessons take practice. And while you can practice reactively when you make small errors, you can also work on it proactively before you do. If you’re struggling with how to forgive yourself frequently, you may also be struggling with poor self-concept. To help, try some affirmations. Regularly affirming who you are is a great way to learn about yourself. Practice in the morning while you’re in the shower. “I am healthy. I am kind. I am loving. I am ready for life’s challenges.” Your affirmations can sound any way that feels good to you.

  • Work up to big forgiveness goals. 

Sure, forgiving yourself is a skill, but is it possible to forgive yourself for bigger things? Can you learn how to forgive yourself for cheating or other large indiscretions? Yes. You can. The same principles applied to forgiving yourself for the small stuff apply here:

 

1) Notice you did something you don’t want to do again. 

“I cheated, and I don’t want to do that again. I don’t like how this makes my partner feel.”

2) Find gratitude for the lesson that you learned. 

“I’m glad I learned from this how I don’t want to act in a relationship.”

3) Make plans to do something differently next time.

“I’m going to make sure I tell my partner what’s going on next time.”

4) Forgive yourself and move on. 

“I forgive myself for cheating, and I’m ready to try again.”

How do you forgive yourself when your partner doesn’t?

Learning how to forgive yourself for cheating, how to rebuild trust after cheating, or other big stuff in relationships can be extra challenging if your partner isn’t ready to forgive you. But here’s the uncomfortable truth. If you don’t learn how to forgive yourself first, your partner’s job in forgiving you will be that much more challenging. Why is forgiveness important? Because when we don’t forgive one another, we can’t grow together in new ways. You and your partner both deserve compassion. Learning how to forgive yourself is a key first step in healing these larger relationship issues. 

 

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular posts

Best 2024 Penile Support Device.

Best 2024 Penile Support Device.

Sexual wellness is all about ensuring a healthy sex life. A major part of it is making sure you can perform in bed. For men, one of the nightmares they experience is ED (Erectile Dysfunction). It is when the man is unable to maintain a proper erection or get one....

Explore more

Casual Sex: Exploring the Do’s and Don’ts of Hookup Culture.

In recent years, casual sex and hookup culture have become increasingly common, particularly among younger generations. While casual sex can be a fulfilling and enjoyable experience, it’s important to approach it with caution and awareness. Understanding the do's and...

The Secret to a Thriving Sex Life: Benefits of Incorporating Sex Toys.

In today's fast-paced world, maintaining a thriving sex life can be challenging. With the pressures of daily life, it’s easy for intimacy to take a backseat. However, one secret to reigniting passion and enhancing sexual experiences lies in the often-overlooked realm...

Great Father’s Day Gift Ideas for the Adventurous Parent.

Most people have gotten their father's gifts to the point they have run out of ideas. If you are such a person, you have come to the right place. How? Have you ever thought of getting your father an intimate gift? If not, we have compiled a list of great Father’s Day...

3 Unique Perfumes to Bring Back from Your Travels.

Perfumes, with their unique ability to capture the essence of a place, make for an exquisite souvenir, allowing us to relive our adventures with just a whiff. From the bustling spice markets of Marrakech to the floral gardens of Paris, each destination offers its...

The Future of Pleasure: A Positive Review of AI-Powered Adult Toys.

Introduction to AI-Powered Adult Toys   In the realm of personal pleasure, technology has consistently pushed boundaries, creating more innovative and fulfilling experiences. One of the most groundbreaking advancements in recent years is the emergence of...

Stripchat or Chaturbate: Which Cam Site is Best for You?

Ever found yourself lost in the world of online entertainment? If you’re anything like me, you've probably wondered which platform gives the best bang for your buck. Between Stripchat and Chaturbate, it can feel like you're picking between two blockbuster hits. Each...

The Art of Gifting Intimacy: Explore Unforgettable Sexual Wellness Finds.

Sexual wellness is a broad topic that covers everything from sex and sex toys to diet. If you’re thinking about getting someone a unique gift for sexual wellness, you have come to the right place. Sex toys are the best unique gift for sexual wellness. Explore V For...

The Ultimate 2024 Business Opportunity.

Are you looking for a business opportunity with endless potential? Then look no further than V For Vibes. They have a business opportunity model for anyone with or without any experience. You don’t need to be tech-savvy or have a college education. All you need is a...

Best 2024 Penile Support Device.

Sexual wellness is all about ensuring a healthy sex life. A major part of it is making sure you can perform in bed. For men, one of the nightmares they experience is ED (Erectile Dysfunction). It is when the man is unable to maintain a proper erection or get one....

Beyond the Bedroom Door: Exploring Sexual Wellness Together.

Sexuality is a dynamic part of our lives, and just like any other aspect, it can benefit from exploration and open communication. Gone are the days when sex is confined to the bedroom and shrouded in secrecy. Today, couples are increasingly embracing the concept of...