Relationships are a beautiful thing. That fluttery feeling you get when you click with that special person is hard to replicate. Most people spend their lives looking for that special person to get intimate with, which is evident in everything we do. From getting ready for a night out to investing in a new haircut, we have all been in a situation where we are trying to impress someone we have the hots for! 

Finally, when the time comes, and you embark on a relationship with another person, the most important aspect of that union is communication. Most of the time, the two-way street of communication works well (otherwise, you probably wouldn’t be together!), however, there is always room for improvement. It’s good to ask yourself how to communicate better in a relationship!

A breakdown in communication can be the root cause of disagreements or arguments within a relationship, and it could lead to an unhealthy relationship or one that struggles to grow and develop. 

It’s no great secret that communication is one of the essential parts of any relationship. However, this all starts with the two (or more!) people involved in that relationship. What’s less understood is how to be a good communicator and how beneficial building good communication habits in your relationship can be. Of course, each relationship is subjective, and there is no such thing as a magical rule book that you should follow. Each relationship is different, and what works for some people may not work for others. There is no simple solution, but there are a few key communication tips that can help couples deal with issues such as difficult conversations or expressing true feelings with each other. 

This is how to communicate better in a relationship, how to fix communication in a relationship, and overall, how to talk better! 

Be as open as possible. 

No, we don’t mean open as in polygamy (unless an open relationship is what you’re into!). Instead, we mean being as open and honest with each other when tricky situations arise. Instead of sweeping things under the carpet, it’s important to face potential disagreements head first. It can be tempting to avoid difficult conversations for an easy life, but the risk associated with this could be a recipe for a breakdown in communication. 

This could also lead to a build-up on tension that may surface at the wrong time, which could lead to a huge argument! 

We all agree that getting things out in the open as soon as possible is less likely to cause damage to your relationship. Afterall, you have invested your time, emotions, and life in your relationship, so why allow things to fester? On the other hand, it’s important to let the small things go. We don’t mean to have an intense discussion about every small thing that annoys one party! Relationships will never be 100% perfect, so it’s about balance. If something has been bothering you, you should bring it up for discussion as soon as possible to avoid an accumulation of pressure. 

This helps you to express your feelings calmly and in a manner that is true to yourself, not influenced by outside or heightened emotion.

Make time for each other. 

We tend to assume that communication is all about making yourself heard, but this is only 50% of it! It’s also equally as vital that you are hearing each other. Listening to each other is not just a mark of respect, but it’s also a healthy way to keep your relationship strong. Being able to listen to your partner effectively means you’re able to better understand their perspective. It means you’re more likely to have constructive conversations where you feel your point of view is being considered. 

Try to avoid bad listening habits and make the time to be fully engaged in what your partner has to say, because what they have to say is super important. Body language, eye contact, and choosing the right place and time to have these discussions are significant factors. Finding a time and place where you’re both relaxed can be crucial in communicating effectively. If you’re shouting to each other from different rooms, for instance, you’re unlikely to properly hear what each other is saying. It’s also really hard to listen to someone when there’s lots of background noise or other things competing for your attention. 

Empathizing with one another and clarifying what you’re both saying is a great way to fully understand what’s being said. Listening carefully means that you are offering yourself and your presence exclusively to your partner. Turn off your phones, switch off around you and make time for each other. And if questions arise when you are listening, always ask them! Never let misunderstanding cloud understanding or result in confusion about what your loved one has to say. 

Sex and intimacy 

Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and it can be used as a physical and verbal method of communication. Good sex starts with good communication, and it’s important to discuss sexual desires, sexual kinks, fantasies, and boundaries within a healthy and loving relationship. 

How else will you know if you’re on the right track with regard to sexual intimacy? Because we are all different and have different desires and needs, we cannot expect to find mutual fulfillment if we do not openly discuss our thoughts. While maintaining this healthy communication level, it’s important to note that it doesn’t have to be all serious. Take the time to communicate about important topics such as sex and intimacy, but include elements of flirting, laughing, and fooling around. It’s equally as important to make light of these topics and to find the space to be openly intimate. 

It’s amazing how much energy can be created between two people who invest in good communication skills. It’s like rubbing sticks together to make a campfire- you’ll eventually get that spark going! Touch each other in passing, give sporadic kisses and make sure to always end the day with some downtime together. Talk about your day if not spent together, or tell them what you loved about the day together if it was!

Lack of communication can lead to a breakdown in chemistry between two usually sexually active people. Sex talk can be a great way to openly talk about the things you like sexually. Working on these intimate areas of your relationship will make sure that you are both fulfilling exactly the kind of life you want to lead. Where there are difficulties discussing sex, there are also difficulties with communication in general. Often in discussing communication, the broadest two categories include verbal and non-verbal communication. 

The physical act of sex is usually the by-product of good communication skills. It can be a great opportunity for you to become one with yourself and your partner’s sexual desires and fantasies. Consensually experimenting together and trying out new things can really help a relationship go from strength to strength. Are you dying to try that sexy role play or use a new sex toy? Go for it!

Getting better at communication with one another is the foundation of a solid and consistent relationship that will only get better over time. No matter how good a relationship is, there is always room for improvement. Try not to let a gap in your communication set your relationship off-course. Instead, you can both improve your skills, so you feel heard in conversations from light-hearted to serious. Relationships take work — you know this, as does anyone who is in one. But with open communication, trust and love shared between you; there’s nothing you can’t accomplish or overcome together.