Are you and your partner still trying to figure out how to build trust in a relationship? Been together for a while – a few months, or years – but can’t seem to break through the walls both of you have put up?
Love and trust can be tricky, but we have the perfect starting point for you to be able to build a loving relationship full of trust and respect for you and your partner. Read on to find out how to build trust in a relationship whether you have just started seeing someone or whether there is damage that has been done and needs to be reversed to establish that trust again.
Before you go on, if your case is more like the latter, do not give up hope! Know that it can be a difficult situation to be in love with someone but not be able to trust them fully. We’re here to help you figure it out.
Let’s talk about why trust is absent in several relationships that we see around us and even idealize as we grow up. Some reasons might be deep-rooted insecurities in us, or maybe the idols we had growing up were not the perfect pair to look up to, or possibly even having a clouded understanding of what love and trust mean. A lot of us do not get the time to take a break and reflect upon our emotions and how we process them, so here’s your chance to take a minute to consider the ways you choose to express your love.
Love languages, styles of attachment, and modes of communication are all really important aspects of a relationship, but at the core of it, trust is what truly makes a relationship last and worth it. Would you want to be with a partner who can’t trust you? Probably not. If nothing else, that relationship will most likely not be a fulfilling one and won’t bring you joy or peace. So, let’s break it down to the basics of how to build trust in a relationship.
Start off Small – Talk!
sLearning how to communicate with your partner is crucial for a healthy, loving, and long-term relationship. It might sound easier when we put it this way, but take our word for it – building trust in a relationship takes a lot of effort and commitment, and one of the first few steps to getting it right is communicating openly and honestly. Talk about the need to build trust, what the reasons are that it’s lacking, and how both of you feel about it. These are key questions you need to be able to answer when you’re trying to learn how to love and trust.
After all, what is love without trust?
There are several aspects of love that we must learn to incorporate in our relationships to build a healthy, loving relationship. This brings us to our next step, learning how to be vulnerable around and with your partner.
Vulnerability is all about openness and being willing to talk about the things that might seem unpleasant or daunting to think about. If you can start with just addressing one of the issues you have with your partner with honesty and openness, you’ll find that it becomes easier to find solutions to your problems.
Embracing vulnerability also means being honest about the things you do like – talk to your partner about what makes you feel good, both in a sexual way and in a non-sexual way. Ask them what makes them feel good, too, and try to actively make whatever it is a part of your routines.
Things as small as just talking openly can have a great impact on your relationship. It is also one of the ways of building trust in a relationship – to be able to listen well and communicate honestly with your partner.
Be Open to Setting Boundaries
Building trust can be an intimidating process, but you can set boundaries for yourself and the relationship to make it easier. This takes us back to the point we made earlier about communicating with your partner – if you don’t like something, you should probably let your partner know. This can then take the route of setting boundaries, perhaps even with yourself.
If you’re learning to love better and establish trust in your relationship, you need to be able to set boundaries and let your partner know. Don’t wait for them to mess up; take a few moments to reflect on behaviors that make you upset and communicate that to your partner.
This can be very fulfilling for couples learning how to build trust in a relationship because it involves trusting your partner to understand your boundaries and act on them.
Accept those Boundaries
The flip side of setting boundaries is learning how to accept those when your partner sets theirs. Listen with an open mind and heart when your partner expresses the need to set their boundaries, too, and try your best to stick by them. The trick here is to be mindful about doing things that you know upset your partner, or at least have a conversation with them about it. It involves giving care and wanting the best for your partner, so accept the boundaries they set and communicate with each other throughout the process!
This can help avoid confrontation, too. If you and your partner both set boundaries, you’re more likely to avoid upsetting them in the first place, and vice versa. It can also help your partner trust you more, and that will build trust in your relationship organically.
Respect their Privacy
Boundaries can only be set in place when you respect your partner’s privacy, and they respect yours – think of it as an exercise towards building trust in your relationship.
Giving your partner the space they need to act on their boundaries allows them to actively trust you with their needs. It will also give them the opportunity to communicate their needs and see them being met, which will enable them to trust you more.
You can begin by shedding doubt and reflecting in moments where you might think intrusive thoughts. Remind yourself of how much your partner trusts you with their privacy and how much it means to them to give them the space they need.
Being supportive when your partner needs you includes:
- Knowing what to do to comfort them.
- Being there for them in the best possible way you know.
- Knowing that both of you are individuals with the freedom to make choices in your lives.
This can foster trust in a relationship by allowing yourself and your partner to take up the space they need to be their own person – it might sound vague, but you can begin by finding out what they like to do outside of their time with you and in a relationship setting. Show up for an important event in their life, or maybe extend your support by consoling them when they are upset.
Support can be shown in many ways, from knowing when to act and how to act when your partner needs you to giving them the space they need to be their own person.