How to be Dominant in Bed: The Nature of a Dom.

Feb 19, 2022

Being a dom can be highly alluring: it gets you sexual favors and puts you in control. But it’s also a lot more than that. 

 

In this article, you’ll find out what being dominant means, why some people might prefer it to submission, and how to be dominant in bed and in your daily life.

 

What Does Being Dominant In Bed Mean?

 

While a sub puts the dominant’s needs first and the dom is in charge, they shouldn’t be selfish. On the contrary, they should have their sub’s best interest in mind and make sure they’re both sexually and emotionally satisfied. A true dominant respects their sub’s boundaries and exerts power over them in a manner that’s both strict and caring. A dom can take on many roles, such as a daddy, master, sadist, owner, etc. 

 

Why Are Some People Dominant While Others Aren’t?

 

While it’s typically men who are dominant, a lot of women might prefer to be in charge. Apart from it being a preference, here are some other possible reasons: 

 

 1. People like feeling in control

 

Life can be pretty unpredictable, and sex might often be the only instance in which you can have total control over the outcomes. For people who might feel lost or vulnerable, being dominant in bed is a great way to regain some of the confidence and feel more secure in their lives.

 

 2. It might have something to do with their upbringing

 

Many girls are taught that they should always be obedient and polite while boys are allowed to misbehave. Lack of assertiveness and confidence can take years of work to improve in adulthood but can be more easily reversed in a sexual context. 

 

 3. It might be a way to deal with difficult emotions

 

While the dominant/submissive dynamic is so much more than having aggressive, hardcore sex, the dominant often gets to inflict pain and punish their sub, which can be a way to express emotions such as anger. You can call it taking out frustration on someone but in a controlled setting where both benefit from it. 

how to be dominant in bed

 Why Is Being Dominant Empowering?

 

Becoming a domme can be a big commitment that requires time and can be emotionally exhausting and frustrating. Before you start learning how to be dominant in bed, consider if these benefits resonate with you first:

 

 1. It brings you out of your comfort zone

 

 A lot of women might find the idea of taking charge stressful, at least until they’ve tried. However, it’s important to get out of your comfort zone once in a while as it allows you to boost your confidence and helps you learn about what you like in bed. Who knows, you might realize that being dominant in bed actually gives you more rush than submitting. 

 

 2. It allows you to go against societal expectations

 

There’s never any reason you shouldn’t spice things up with a little rebellion. Women are typically seen as submissive and are expected to obey, especially in a sexual context. Ask yourself, have you ever seen porn where a woman dominates a man that isn’t titled ‘dominatrix’? And there are still very few porn videos that explore this fetish. It doesn’t take much to flip the script. Sex is supposed to be consensual, so both you and your partner bend the rules when you engage in this kind of dynamic. 

 

 3. You get to surprise people

 

Since most people you encounter will assume you’re submissive, you can easily prove them wrong. 

 

 4. Acting true to your desires is empowering

 

Life’s too short to pretend to be someone you’re not. If you enjoy being dominant, you deserve to fulfill those fantasies and have your needs met no matter what other people think.

 

 5. Being dominant isn’t just physical

 

While spanking sex and choking can be definitely a part of the deal, being dominant extends beyond the bedroom. As a dominant, you get to order your sub around and often control important aspects of their lives. Having this much responsibility can be empowering, especially if it’s not something you experience in everyday life. 

 

How Can I Become More in Tune with My Dominant Side?

 

Learning how to navigate this dynamic takes time. Here’s how to be more dominant:

 

 1. Share your desires with your partner

 

Tell your partner that you’re interested in BDSM and research the topic to find the dynamic that suits your needs the most. Once you’ve agreed on what you both like, you should discuss your boundaries and things you’re willing to try.

 

 2. Start small

 

After you’ve spoken to your partner, you can start incorporating the new dynamic into your sex life. However, you should start small to really ease into it and make sure both you and your partner are on the same page. 

 

For example, you can start by initiating sex, choosing positions on top, and telling your partner what to do. You should get used to taking charge outside the bedroom too. Instead of asking a partner what he wants to do, tell him you’re taking him out for dinner. Make him perform simple tasks for you such as running you a bath, making you tea, or washing the dishes. 

 

The key is to get used to firmly voicing what you want instead of asking for it. You can also practice this outside of your relationship. It’s possible to be polite and assertive at the same time, so instead of asking your boss, “Do you think I could take days off?” say “I’d like to take some days off”. 

 

 3. Look the part

 

Even if you’re not feeling confident, trick yourself into believing that you are. While wearing dominatrix clothes might seem too stereotypical to some, it can be a great confidence boost that can help you get used to the new dynamic.

 

 4. Consider buying sex toys

 

For a lot of women, it might be difficult to play a dominant role knowing that their partners are most likely stronger than them and could overpower them if they wanted to. This is why you should invest in sex toys

 

Gadgets such as handcuffs or blindfolds can make the scenario more realistic and help bring out your confidence. They’re also great tools that can help develop trust between you and your partner. For example, when you’re using a toy such as a spanking whip, you have to make sure you communicate well and monitor your partner’s reactions. 

 

Remember to talk about the experience afterward to ensure nobody’s boundaries were crossed. It’s important to be as honest as possible with your partner because a dominant/submissive dynamic is largely about becoming attuned to each other’s needs and learning how to fulfill them. Simply following a script won’t be enough. 

spanking sex whip

 5. Join a kink community

 

If you’re serious about becoming a domme, it’s important that you take advice from pros. Joining a community online will allow you to browse the forum with plenty of threads where people share their BDSM experience. You can also connect with users directly, and they’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have. And if you want to learn more about this and many other sexual topics, visit our sex blog for in-depth sex education! 

 

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular posts

V For Vibes, The Best Sex Store Near YOU.

V For Vibes, The Best Sex Store Near YOU.

Searching for the best sex store near me to elevate your intimate experiences? Look no further than V For Vibes, the premier destination for luxury sexual wellness products and accessories. Whether you’re looking for sensual vibrators, elegant lingerie, or premium...

The Pussy Pump by V For Vibes.

The Pussy Pump by V For Vibes.

Experience the epitome of luxury and innovation with the Pussy Pump by V For Vibes, a product designed to redefine intimate pleasure and empower you to explore your sensuality. Crafted for those who appreciate sophistication and high-quality design, this vagina pump...

Best Sex Toys for Cam Girls.

Best Sex Toys for Cam Girls.

In the world of cam modeling, standing out and keeping your audience engaged is crucial. One way to spice up your shows and captivate viewers is by incorporating high-quality sex toys into your performances. Not only do they add variety, but they also allow for more...

Explore more

Mayseeds’ OnlyFans: A Deep Dive into Her Exclusive Content and Online Persona.

In the dynamic world of digital content creation, Mayseeds has emerged as a notable figure, captivating audiences with her engaging material and vibrant personality. As a prominent creator on OnlyFans, she offers her subscribers unique content that isn't available on...

Lana Rhoades OnlyFans: Everything You Need to Know About Her Exclusive Content.

Lana Rhoades is one of the most well-known names in the world of online content creation, with a massive fanbase that follows her across social media. Since launching her OnlyFans, she has provided exclusive, premium content that fans won’t find anywhere else. If...

Katie Sigmond OnlyFans Leaked.

The rise of OnlyFans has allowed content creators like Katie Sigmond to share exclusive material with their most dedicated fans while maintaining creative and financial control. However, with the increasing popularity of subscription-based content, many influencers...

Karely Ruiz OnlyFans: An Exclusive Look at Her Premium Content and Rising Fame.

Karely Ruiz has become a sensation on OnlyFans, captivating audiences with her striking beauty, charismatic presence, and ability to engage with her dedicated fanbase. As one of the most sought-after creators on the platform, Karely has leveraged her online influence...

Jameliz OnlyFans Leaked: The Truth About Content Privacy and Online Ethics.

The rise of OnlyFans has created opportunities for content creators to monetize their work, but it has also led to issues like content leaks. If you've been searching for "Jameliz OnlyFans leaked", it's important to understand the ethical and legal implications of...

Jameliz OnlyFans: Everything You Need to Know.

OnlyFans has become one of the most popular platforms for content creators to share exclusive material with their audience, and Jameliz is one of the rising stars making a name for herself. Whether you're curious about what Jameliz offers on her OnlyFans page or...

How Does OnlyFans Work? A Complete Guide to Monetizing Your Content.

If you’re looking to make money on OnlyFans, whether as a content creator or subscriber, understanding how the platform works is key. OnlyFans is a subscription-based platform that allows creators to earn revenue directly from their followers by offering exclusive...

Katie Sigmond OnlyFans: Social Media Sensation and Her Exclusive Content.

Katie Sigmond, a rising social media influencer and fitness enthusiast, has captured the attention of millions with her engaging content and stunning visuals. Known for her presence on platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, she has expanded her brand further...

BeriGalaxy OnlyFans: Rising Social Media Star and Her Exclusive Content.

BeriGalaxy, a social media influencer known for her stunning visuals and engaging online presence, has built a dedicated fanbase across multiple platforms. With her bold content, captivating personality, and artistic creativity, she has now expanded her brand to...

Belle Delphine OnlyFans Leaked: The Truth Behind the Controversy.

Belle Delphine, the internet personality known for her provocative cosplay, edgy humor, and viral marketing stunts, has consistently remained a trending topic in online communities. Her presence on OnlyFans has been one of the most talked-about aspects of her career,...