This is it. You’ve decided that it’s time to expand your sexual horizons; perhaps your sex life is stale, or you simply want to spice things up. You think the best remedy is bringing a third person in, and as you search for the inspirations, the terms ‘cuckold’ and ‘threesome‘ pop up. Now you’re even more confused than before. Isn’t a third person simply there to join you in for a sexual act? Well, yes, but not quite. It’s a bit more complicated than that. 

Lucky for you, we’ve prepared a list of similarities and differences that will show you what cuckolding and threesome sex is all about. 

Are you ready to transform your sex life? Let’s get into it. 

Similarities

The presence of a third person 

In layman’s eyes, cuckolding might seem synonymous with a threesome. They both require the third person to join, after all. Indeed, the preparation process is quite similar. Before you can get started, you have to find the right person to do the deed – a stranger you and your partner are both comfortable with. Then, there are a few things to consider; will you be okay with introducing someone else to our sex life? Will you be okay with a stranger touching me? However, the role of the third in those scenarios differs, which you’ll find about in the later section.  

They can improve your sex life   

Have you ever heard of the Coolidge effect? It’s a phenomenon mainly researched in rats that experience re-arousal once a novel female rat is introduced. Just like animals, humans like novelty. We like to fantasize about having sex with a stranger or wish the sex with our partner was as exciting as it was initially. While you can’t bring the honeymoon phase back, trying anything new in bed can reintroduce excitement to your sex life, even if you discover that it’s not something you’d want to repeat in the future. Exploring both cuckold or threesome sex can help you reignite the old fire, and if it fails, at least it will make a great story. You won’t know unless you try. 

They can help you discover what you like in bed

Since sex is considered to be instinctual, just like eating or sleeping, not many people place enough importance on learning about their sexuality and needs. While you might still be enjoying sex without this knowledge, exploration is the key ingredient that can take your lovemaking sessions to the next level. Cuckolding, for example, can make you feel empowered and teach you more about your likes and dislikes. In a world where women are seen as submissive by default, flipping the script might not even cross your mind. But once you’ve had a taste of cuckolding, you might discover you enjoy being in control. Similarly, a threesome can help you explore some of your fantasies, such as having sex with a woman or double penetration, which can increase arousal and enhance orgasm. Both can be a win-win as long as your partner is comfortable with that, which brings us to the next point… 

Both require trust and good communication skills 

Historically, a cuckold was a husband unaware of his wife’s unfaithfulness, but today cuckolding is used to describe a consensual activity. Just like in the case of any other sexual act, it requires you to discuss boundaries with your partner beforehand. For example, your partner might be okay with you having sex with another man but not with kissing. You’ll also have to decide if cuckolding is something you want to plan in advance in the future or if you want it to be more spontaneous. If you’re planning a threesome with another woman, you might not want your partner to be intimate with her. Similarly, man-on-man action might be out of your partner’s comfort zone. Additionally, it’s important to learn to manage your expectations because fantasy isn’t quite the same as reality. Make sure you’re on the same page before getting a third person involved. Exploration in the bedroom is supposed to make your relationship fun and more solid, not test your limits. 

Differences

The role of a man is typically different in both scenarios

The term cuckold (See Cuckolding Terms and Constructs) refers to a man who is aroused at the sight of his partner having sex with another man. In other words, he’s submissive and passive while his partner is the dominant one in the middle of the action. That’s not always the case in threesome sex, where both partners usually play an active role, and being submissive isn’t gender-specific. This isn’t to say women can’t watch their partners have sex with another woman – the term for that, although less popular, is a cuckquean.  

The goals are different in both scenarios

If you’re looking for someone to help you and your partner explore a different side of sex, a threesome is the way to go. Having a threesome with a woman might help you learn more about your sexuality and discover new ways you like to be stimulated. If you want to have a threesome with a man, you get to try double penetration, which will introduce you to more intense sensations. On the other hand, cuckolding is more about exploring the dominance/submission dynamic with elements of humiliation. A cuckold will not necessarily want to have sex with a third person because their main source of the thrill is simply watching their partner with someone else. While threesomes are about sex, cuckolding is about degradation and power. If your partner enjoys being submissive and you’re on the more dominant side, cuckolding and cuckold humiliation might be just the upgrade you need in the bedroom. 

Cuckolding doesn’t have to involve sex

Cuckolding is a kink that involves being turned on by the sight or thought of your partner cheating, whether it’s a roleplay or not. It can be as simple as listening to your partner talk about their fantasies of having sex with someone else or witnessing them exchange intimate touch with another person. Exploring various degrees of this kink can help you decide if it’s something you’re into before you add sex to the equation. For example, you could arrange for your partner to watch you while you’re flirting with another man to see how both parties feel about it, first.

Cuckolding is more taboo

Have you noticed that everyone seems to be (proudly) sharing their threesome experience, but no one mentions watching their partner having sex with someone else? It’s not just because cuckolding isn’t as popular yet but because deriving enjoyment out of humiliation is still taboo (that’s what makes it fun, though, doesn’t it?). Men are typically seen as masculine, and being a cuckold is the opposite of what society says they’re supposed to embody. In reality, for many men, being submissive in a sexual context is a chance to let go and relieve stress that they can’t do in their daily lives. It might also be an opportunity for them to explore their bisexual side without judgment. Even if cuckolding isn’t something you’re excited to try, this insight should help you understand your partner’s point of view and possibly reach a compromise.