What is a healthy sex life? And do you feel like your sexual intimacy is checking off all the boxes of happiness, fulfillment, and contentment under the sheets? There might not be a sure-fire definition of a healthy sex life, as all couples will vary in their sexuality, but there will always be a few things that are always indicative and true of a healthy sex life.
Here’s a few of them, but of course, not all of them. You might find that yourself and your loved one effortlessly succeed in every one of these departments, or you might realize that there’s a place or two to improve. Either way, check it out!
You can Talk About Sex.
If you have an issue arise when it comes to sex, or if you simply have something that you want to talk about with your partner, such as the desire to try something new or to change up your sexual endeavors, are you able to easily and effortlessly sit down and talk with your partner about sex?
Talking about sex showcases trust, vulnerability, and comfortability with your partner, as honestly, it can be a touchy subject! As long as your sex talks don’t always end in disagreements or altercations, then this is quite the keystone sign of a healthy sex life. Want tips on how to talk about sex to improve on this much-needed facet of sexuality? Take a peek at the linked article.
The Sexual Energy Flows
Everyone knows that special type of energy that begins flowing when two humans engage in intimacy. It’s spiritual, special, and very much a potent energy. However, when a sexual encounter isn’t going ‘as planned’, just as prominent a feeling is the block in sexual energy.
This might manifest in shyness, awkwardness, weirdness- whatever you want to call it!
If your sexual energy with your partner is flowing, and you can feel yourselves moving through your sexual escapades as if dancing between your souls, then I can tell you right now your sex life, at least up to this point, is connected on multiple realms of intimacy and is, therefore, a healthy one, as this sexual energy will tell you all you need to know. So listen to it! If there’s a block, the best thing you can do with your partner is addressing why and how to change it. Change only comes with effort.
You Can Simply be Yourself
We all have unique personalities. Duhhh. But even more specific and individual is our personalities in the bedroom. That nice guy next door might actually be a total freak; that professionally-dressed woman might be wearing a layer of leather underneath her pantsuit. You get it.
What I am saying is that we are all entirely entitled to our special personalities in the bedroom- the things we like, the way we approach them, etc. And if you feel that there is no block in your ability to fully be yourself, that you can act as goofy, as serious, or as silly as you want and prefer in the bedroom, then this is a wonderful sign that you have a healthy sex life and that you feel so at ease with your partner that you can be yourself even during moments of personal exposure.
You Can Freely Explore your Sexuality
No, we don’t mean to freely explore your sexuality with multiple partners, unless that’s a totally consensual setup between yourself and your partner. What we mean is that you can explore your sexuality with your partner, and they do nothing but love and support your sexual desires with you doing the same right back to them.
If there’s a certain kink that you’ve always known you’ve wanted to experiment with or a fetish that you hold close to your sexual persona, and you want to incorporate this into your lovemaking, can you freely do so without fear of judgment? And will your partner be there to help and explore with you along the way?
Having a healthy sex life means being able to explore and discover yourself as an individual and as a couple along the way, and the key to doing so is to explore, no matter how long you’ve been together!
You Feel Fulfilled
Overall, when you sit back and think about your sex life, do you feel fulfilled? If so, then a warm feeling is probably embodying you. You are smiling at the thought of your sex, and that buzzy feeling of fulfillment has you nodding your head with a sly smile in agreement. But if not, you might notice certain areas of sexual frustration, or your mind might head directly to thinking about the things you feel are wrong within your sex life.
Being fulfilled in sex is a comprehensive thing to be. There’s not one single way to ensure entire fulfillment. Sexual fulfillment might look like having enough sex every week, being able to discover your kinks and desires, having a high level of sexual energy during your intimacy, and really everything else that matters to you when it comes to sex. If you’re not feeling fulfilled, then you’ll know it, and the best thing to do is to do something about it!
You Can Still Practice Self-Love
What is a healthy sex life if we cannot learn to love ourselves and our bodies from the core existence of our sexuality and physical self? Oh yes, you know exactly what I am talking about: masturbation.
A healthy sex life with a partner deals with more than just your sexual intercourse with them. This also includes the self-love practice of masturbation! Having at least an occasional time or two where you can freely engage in masturbation is indeed a sign of a healthy sex life. And you shouldn’t have to hide masturbation with your partner!
There are multiple health benefits of masturbation, and masturbation is literally the only way to learn your body and yourself in a solo manner that really allows you to be in tune with who you are and the things you like. If masturbation is a touchy subject, or if there is jealousy or taboo surrounding the idea of healthy masturbation practices in a relationship, then you might want to step back and realize that this is a negative sign of a healthy sex life.
There is Always Consent
A healthy sex life is quite literally built around consent. Everything you do needs to be entirely, 110% consensual for both sides of the party! If there has ever been a moment of non-consensual practice in your relationship, then this might have led to both physical and mental damage that needs to be healed.
Consent is one of those things that couples with a healthy sex life tend to just know they are on the same page with, and that they know as soon as something comes up they’re not comfortable doing, they can comfortably stop the practice. If there’s consent in your sexual relationship, then you’re doing something right—Check-in with your partner about consent to gain some serious respect in your love life.
You Have Sex ‘Enough”
Part of a healthy sex life will always be a definitive numbers game. We all have needs, and meeting those needs is the basis of fulfillment. And nothing could build a stronger base than starting at the point of having sex ‘enough’.
Now, there’s no right answer as to how many times you should have sex per week, but the key is looking into both yourself and your partner’s libido and finding compromise there. If one partner has a particularly high libido, then you might need to find a middle ground in allowing them to masturbate without stress a time or two or surprise them with oral sex to keep up with their high sex drive. On the other hand, a partner with a low libido needs understanding and love from their partner when they don’t want to have sex, and that is okay!
All it comes down to is finding that middle ground. If one partner wants sex five times a week, and the other wants it twice, then maybe you can agree upon trying to engage in intercourse three times a week. And, of course, finding ways to ensure that your sex drives are met regardless of differences is always going to be a definitive sign of a healthy sex life.