When you think of handjobs, do you think of being a teenager again? High school, back of the car, playing around when you shouldn’t? Well, handjobs are great no matter what age you are! They’re phenomenal foreplay before sex, anal sex, and even just as an exciting change to your routine. Handjobs are popular for a reason, and just because we age doesn’t mean we should stop trying things! There is no age limit on a handjob. Don’t knock a handjob before you really try it!

Penises – they vary. 

Just like the men they belong to, penises come in many shapes, sizes, and color variations. Some are circumcised, while others are not. There are penises with curves and tilts, and penises that are straight. Obviously, some are bigger, and some are smaller – but that means girth and length. It could be short and thick, or long and thin. Penises are so unique to each and every person! Even the ball sack looks different for everyone.

Pubic hair preferences. 

Just like penises, every man’s pubic hair varies. Some may choose to trim their hair, while some may let it go au natural. Others may not upkeep it at all and have a full-on bush! If you would prefer that he trim or shave, communicate that with him. He can’t read your mind, and less hair could make for an easier handjob experience, as it lends less friction. He probably has preferences for your pubic hair, so it’s totally ok for you to express yours as well.

Remember, just because you only use your hand, doesn’t mean handjobs are risk free.

Handjobs and hand sex are lower risk, but cuts or open places on your finger put you both at risk for giving or receiving blood-based STI/STD’s. You can use gloves or a condom to minimize your risk further. Of course, you should always be being tested regularly if you are engaging in sexual activity, as should your partner. Better safe than sorry.

What if they have foreskin?

Not all men are circumcised, so it’s important to know that and how to play with it. Foreskin is skin that covers the head of the penis, that when pulled down will expose their head. Some men may enjoy having their head exposed during a handjob, while some may prefer the foreskin to stay over it. You want to make sure you ask, as some foreskins can be tight, causing pain if you try to pull it down. Make sure to ask first and see what he prefers. If he is circumcised, it’s nothing to worry about! There will be no extra skin to deal with.

How hard should you hold it during a handjob? 

Every man likes something different. The easiest way to know is to ask! Try different grips if he isn’t sure, until you both decide which one is the best feeling. You can even try two hands to both stroke up and down or twist gently with one and stroke with the other.  

Will my hand get tired?

The short answer? Probably. If your hand gets tired, you can try switching hands! Or amp it up by trying breast sex- where he thrusts in between your breasts. You can offer to go down on him, or you can even ask him to jerk off while you touch yourself. If this is foreplay, when your hand gets tired, get to the even more fun part of having sex! If you’re an expert, he may orgasm from your hand job alone, and that’s totally ok. If he doesn’t, that’s also normal and nothing to worry about. Many men do not orgasm from a hand job and may need more to get the job done.

Use lube!

Your mouth only makes so much saliva, so don’t be afraid to use a lubricant. Water or silicone-based lube is a good idea if you’re planning to do this as foreplay, as oil-based lubricants can degrade latex condoms. You don’t want a dry mouth to distract you from the fun play you’re about to have. Silicone lubricants tend to last much longer, leading to more fun before needing to reapply, whereas water-based lubricants evaporate quicker. However, if you’re worried about your hands getting tired, the brief break for reapplication may make a water-based lubricant more conducive for you to use. 

What if a handjob doesn’t feel good for him? 

Not every man is verbal about what makes him feel good. Ask him if he’s enjoying it! Ask if he wants you to do something differently. If he wants you to try something, ask him to show you. He can even show you how hard he wants you to grip, simply by placing his hand over yours and creating the grip for you. It’s very easy, as long as you remember that communication is key here. Since there are so many techniques to handjobs, it’s good to do some research on movements and what not to do beforehand. You can surprise him with your knowledge! He may like his head being caressed, or he may find that too sensitive. All of these are things that he can verbalize.

Do we need to wear clothes? 

Try starting out under his clothing, and then slowly get him to remove items. It’s ok if he doesn’t want to be fully naked, or if you don’t want to be! Sexy lingerie can also be a fun way to make this even more sensual and fun. He may want to be fully naked, or just on the couch with his fly open. 

Moral of the story, handjobs are under rated and underperformed. If you’re tired of the same old, same old, try to liven it up by trying this old technique. You both may be surprised at how pleasurable a well-done handjob can truly feel. Now go get it on!