Alas, the good ole friends with benefits relationship status. Have you been there and done that? As a lot of us have, there’s also a lot of us that haven’t. Either way, there’s no shame. It’s not a bad way to approach things, as long as you both establish boundaries and are aware of what the relationship is. Friends with benefits could mean more than one thing to people. In case you don’t know about the whole scene, I’m here to fill you in and make sure you know what the hell is going on when people refer to it or when someone wants that kind of relationship with you.

What Do Friends with Benefits Mean?

Though most of us probably have a general idea of what the phrase means, I’m going to clear the air and make sure we’re all aware of just what friends with benefits means. In simpler terms, friends with benefits are when two people are physically intimate without committing to one another. 

For example, you meet someone that physically checks off all your boxes, and the sex is great, but maybe you’re not into their personality or just don’t want to be in a committed relationship at the time. So you both agree that the relationship should strictly involve physical intimacy, and that’s it. Boom! That right there, my friends, is called a friend with benefits. 

You both enjoy the physical relationship, and it’s nothing more. When involved in this type of relationship, you have to make sure you’re aware of a few things. Since you both agreed upon a friend with benefits status, keep in mind that the other person and yourself are ‘allowed to do as you wish. That means hanging out and having sexual relations with other people at the same time if preferred. There are no strings attached to your relationship with the other person. That’s the whole point, I guess! I mean, ejaculating dildos are amazing, but this doesn’t sound too bad, now does it?

Before deciding on the status of your relationship and categorizing it such, ask yourself a couple of questions. Start with asking what your needs, wants, and expectations from this relationship are. Will I be okay if my ‘friend’ starts another relationship with someone else and later ends ours? Am I really okay with only being physically intimate with my ‘friend’ and nothing more? 

It’s important to highlight these factors to yourself before and even during the friends with benefits status. You always want to make sure you’re not getting hurt or leading someone on. You both should be on the same page at all times to avoid this. 

Friends with Benefits Rules

You’ve been single for a while now, and let’s just say your V for Vibes vibrator has seen a good bit of use (I know, I use mine all the freaking time!). Therefore you decide to casually be on the lookout for someone that’s looking for the same thing you are, a friend with benefits. 

No drama, no heartbreak, no responsibility, just sex. 

Congrats, you officially know what you want! Before you start looking or asking the person you have in mind, let’s go over a few friends with benefits rules or, better said, things to keep in mind when deciding. First off, my advice to you is to choose someone that’s honest. 

This kind of relationship is extremely important to make sure everyone’s open and honest with the other. By being on the same page, you’re aware when or if one of you has developed feelings or if one of you wants to end the relationship. 

The second rule is to make sure you’re emotionally ready for what you’re getting yourself into. Having a friend with benefits can go the easy way, which is the whole point, I might add, or the hard way. Having casual sex can lead to being emotionally attached to someone if you’re not able to turn that part of your brain off. I mean, our brains are programmed to do that. 

So again, make sure you’re okay with the relationship not being anything more than sex, and don’t expect for them to secretly fall in love with you because how could they not… Not everyone is ready and willing to be in that committed relationship you’re hoping for. 

Another important rule, always practice SAFE SEX. I don’t care if you know your friend with benefits would never lie to you in a million years… wear the condom, put on the condom, whatever you need to do to ensure you’re both being protected. Not only do they protect you from an unexpected baby 9 months later, they’re also going to make sure you’re STD-free. 

I can’t stress this enough when you’re involved in a friends with benefits relationship. Even if you’re only sleeping with them, that does not mean they’re doing the same. So save yourself the worry and just be safe. It only takes 3 more seconds to do so. 

When it comes to the friends with benefits sex itself, make sure you’re being real. The whole point to the relationship is to have amazing sex, right? Right. So be open with them, tell them what you like, don’t like, or something you’ve always wanted to try, like an interesting kink or possibly some sexy role play.

You never know; they might teach you a little more about your sexual self. 

Of course, don’t ever be pressured to do something you’re not comfortable with. If you do try something new and don’t like it, voice that to your ‘friend’ and tell them to do the same on their end. The key to any relationship, including a friend with benefits, is communication. 

Lastly, make sure you’re keeping your eyes and heart open for other potential relationships that come your way. If you’re too invested in your friend with benefits, you might realize you’ve been missing all those opportunities to meet someone that wants to be more… even when you didn’t think you wanted more. Long story short, have fun, keep it simple, and keep it strictly to sex. All that other crap can get confusing for both of you, so don’t add the drama.

Phew! I’m sure glad we had that talk. Everyone needs to know what a friends with benefits relationship means, the rules, and the fun it could be if it’s right for you. If you’re still feeling confused or uneasy with the idea, do a little more research and keep listening to yourself. You know yourself better than anyone does. 

Make sure you’re okay with the terms and conditions, for the millionth time, make sure you’re always both on the same page and that you’re staying safe, physically and mentally. There shouldn’t be any stress or drama with it. If there is, maybe you should take a step back and make sure the relationship is right for you and if they’re the right person for it. When in doubt, you always have your V for Vibes vibrator waiting for you. Don’t have one yet? Make sure you check one out because she’ll never let you down—wink, wink.