Female dominance or femdom. There’s not much that is more enticing than a woman who is in complete control of a sexual experience, and the pleasures of this integrated aspect of BDSM play is alluring and enticing for both the woman in control and he/she who is on the other end of the relationship.
If you have happened to catch wind of femdom, whether that be through a Hollywood introduction, in a book, or when shopping for sex toys meant for BDSM use, then there’s a good chance the ideas and desires contained within have made it so that femdom is something you want to try.
In this all-inclusive guide to femdom for beginners, we are going to answer as many questions as possible surrounding this sexual idiosyncrasy, answering exactly what femdom is and providing you a few tips on how to best approach it in your personal love life.
With the rising popularity of BDSM, due to factors that include the integration of this alluring form of sexuality within the modern world of Hollywood entertainment and the general decline of stigmas associated with sexuality and kinks, there’s really never a better time to become your true sexual self.
Today we are going to look into a woman-empowered and ever so popular aspect of BDSM, the art and action that is none other than female dominance, or Femdom for short.
So whether you are a woman who is eager to take charge and control the sexual setting, or if you are someone who is enticed by and enjoys the submission of allowing the female dominant woman to take control; we’re going to showcase just why Femdom is an excellent addition to your love life.
What is Femdom?
As we said above, femdom stands for female dominance. In a sexual scenario, the dominant female figure will maintain control over and provide both the pleasures and the pains of this sexual interaction.
Female dominance can take many forms. Because of its relation to BDSM, some might imagine a woman in a jet black latex suit with whips ready to bite the skin of their partner. And sure, this absolutely is a definitive picture of what can go on in femdom play, but femdom for beginners can be much much different and far less intimidating.
Female dominance doesn’t have to be too intense or require a plethora of toys and leather. Although some enjoy progressing to this stage, femdom can take on much more relaxed approaches that still maintain entire female control. Simple directions on what you can do, pulling their hair, light choking. Well get into it more, but the important thing here is to not shy away from femdom if it is something you want to try just because you are intimidated!
Because of this, couples far and wide with many differing views can all practice this sexual act, as it is an incredible way to discover new kinks and turn-ons within yourselves, and it is also extremely important to allow a female to take this position when desired, as gender roles are best when they are equal.
Femdom is a sexual kink that falls within the greater category of BDSM. In a femdom scenario, the female-identifying partner maintains the dominant control and power over the submissive other(s) involved.
Often the dominant female identifies as a dominatrix or a mistress, and for those who wish to enjoy the act of allowing themselves to be controlled by a femdom, these services can be found for hire.
And although there are professional femdoms within this space, women who have practiced and mastered this sexual kink as a career, there is absolutely no reason that a couple cannot, or shouldn’t, incorporate this form of sexuality within their own relationship.
Who is Femdom For?
To be straightforward, femdom can be for literally anyone!
Females very much find pleasure in acting out this dominant state, and this can provide to them the fulfillment of quite a naughty kink. Females can also find themselves on the other end of another femdom, enjoying their punishments as the submissive from another dominant female.
For the males, many men absolutely love being taken advantage of. The switch of power roles and the ability to allow their partner to do as they please is often a big-time turn on. Allowing oneself to completely succumb to another’s direction is a great way to act as both sexual and life relief, an effective stress reducer.
How to Approach Femdom for Beginners.
If choosing to get into femdom, you probably don’t want to surprise your other half with aggressive whips, collars, or gags. Even if you think they’ll love it, the best femdom relationships always start with communication and should always begin by taking things slow and progressing with experience.
Femdom for beginners starts with communication. Take some time to sit down with your partner and discuss that femdom is something you wish to get into. Respect their views on it, but also make sure that your views are also being respected.
If you conclude that you are both willing and want to try femdom techniques while having sex, the next step is research, which, since you are here, you’re probably heading in the right direction! Learn all you can regarding female dominance, watch informative videos, read blogs from those who are respected in the field. Just do what you can to learn!
When the time comes for your sexual interaction and to first practice femdom, start slow and take it easy.
The Practice of Femdom
Because Femdom is an integrated aspect of BDSM, it is more than expected to find other BDSM activities and kinks utilized to create the dominant environment, including multiple forms of bondage, humiliation and degradation, forced oral, pegging, ballbusting, and more.
Anything that makes it so that the female partner is in charge is a valid method of incorporating Femdom within a relationship.
And although a lot of the time this dominant role is maintained within a sexual setting, female dominance can also be an extended form of roleplay where the partners continue this outside of only their sex.
An example of this would be a femdom partner forcing the other to perform errands, tasks around the house like cleaning up, or simple verbal humiliation throughout the day.
Beginner Practices
Although the other aspects of BDSM mentioned above will make for riveting and compelling femdom control, this doesn’t mean that you have to be a master of ropes and ties or have a sex dungeon full of whips and chains to incorporate female dominance into your own relationship.
Femdom can be simple, and it is an extremely fun way to enhance the sex life of both partners involved.
If you’re interested in exploring this dominant/submissive relationship, then the key is to start with simple forms of control that don’t require anything more than your words.
After talking with your partner to ensure that this is something they are comfortable exploring, as conversation surrounding your sexual desires is essential, you can then plan a few simple methods by which you will create a female-dominated environment during your sex.
If you need a little inspiration on some easy to handle, beginner femdom practices, then the girls at VforVibes got ya covered!
Verbal Control
Your voice is the best place to start to initiate control over your partner and to dictate what happens during your sex. Femdom is all about being in charge, so be confident and controlling in your approaches!
Begin with some lighthearted verbal commands as you gain comfortability and experience in this practice.
Making your partner take his clothing off in a specific manner, forcing him/her to kiss the length of your body down to your feet, telling them that they’ve been extra naughty and that they are going to be punished. Your voice is the control center, and use it to create the directions that your submissive is absolutely forced to follow.
When it comes to verbal control, you must speak in an active voice and do so with sheer confidence. There is no “you should” or “I want you to”, and there is only “you must”.
Verbal Humiliation
Aside from using your voice to control what happens physically during your experience, you can also complement this with another aspect of BDSM: verbal humiliation.
Humiliation and female dominance go hand in hand, so if you plan to be a femdom, then you just might want to get ready to make a little fun of your partner.
Just how far you wish to go with this depends on yourself and your relationship, but to begin mildly, you should start with simple phrases and quick, humiliating words.
Some examples include:
- “You’re not good enough to be in charge.”
- “You can fuck me better than that, can’t you?”
- “I don’t want to hear your sissy voice.”
- “You’re my little toy tonight.”
After you establish how you both feel, you can up the intensity by furthering the humiliation. Some enjoy establishing the roleplaying idea of telling their partner that they are not good enough in bed, wishing that there was another partner to do better, or making fun of the size of their cock.
No matter what you do, remember that you are a beginner, and you do not want to offend your partner to extremes until they fully establish that they enjoy the humiliation, so always start small and progress with time and experience.
Physical Pain
Again, you don’t need whips and chains here, but there are plenty of subtle forms of physical pain that the Femdom can force upon her partner for dominant fun.
Be in charge and forceful when you instill this pain upon your partner, but also be careful in the beginning stages.
Try giving your partner a little spank on his butt as he pounds you from whichever positioning you have forced him to enter. Perhaps a tight grip around his neck is the perfect way to remind him who is in charge and who controls the air he breathes. A nice smack on the cheek to wipe away his grin, no? Once you gain an understanding of pain thresholds and desires, you can then think of incorporating BDSM-related toys, such as a strapon for pegging, into your femdom role to heighten the senses even further.
Beginner Femdom Techniques.
Until you gain a better understanding of certain pain thresholds and the physical aspect of femdom, a great way to begin is to start with vocals.
Use your voice as the direction to the sexual experience with the understanding that anything you say goes. Force your partner to kiss certain areas of your body, make them watch you pleasure yourself or vice versa.
Have fun with using your voice as the controlling technique, and if your partner doesn’t listen, that is when you can begin experimenting with more physical techniques.
Give them a little tug of their hair or a nice smack on the butt as punishment for any time they do not heed your directions. As you begin with physical punishments, make sure to remain cognizant of your partner’s response and add or reduce your intensity accordingly.
You are in control, of course, but it can take time for all parties involved to get used to the joys of pain, so only progress when you know the time is right.
Once you have gained a base of experience, then you can try and add some intensity to your beginner femdom play. Incorporating bondage is a riveting and orgasm-inducing means by which you can implement sheer control over your partner.
You don’t need complicated knots, and instead, a pair of handcuffs or a simple restraint will do just fine. Limiting your partner’s movement is a definitive means by which you can maintain a high level of control, as limiting their movements will allow you to do all that you please.
Sex toys are a keystone addition to the best femdom experiences once you feel ready. A small leather whip adds an excellent element of pain, and you will relish the feeling of power when a high-quality whip rests in your hand, ready to caress the bare skin of he/she who is in front of you.
You can really use any type of toy you want when practicing femdom. Either force the pleasures of the toy upon your other partner, make them use the toy while you watch, make them use the toy on you in any way you please. Remember, you are in control, so do anything you can think of with your femdom toys.
Orgasm Control.
If you want to provide your partner with the most riveting and otherworldly orgasm possible, as well as hopefully providing to yourself the same in the process, then try experimenting with orgasm control.
Known as ‘edging’, this is the act of bringing your partner extremely close to climax before immediately ripping the pleasures away so that they do not cum. Do this over and over a few times in a sexual setting and soon the desires to climax will be boiling from within.
Alas, when you choose to allow your partner to finally let go, this build-up and anticipation will not only feel the best it has ever felt but will make them appreciate the fact that your control single-handedly uncovered such.
How to Better Learn Femdom
If the ideas of Femdom instill a pulsing excitement throughout you, you should work to further explore this kink and expand on the discovery of your sexuality.
You must converse with your partner before taking this role, and simply establish your reasonings for wishing to delve into a dominant female environment during your sex (and remember, it doesn’t have to be all the time!), and why this is important to yourself.
Ask them questions about how they feel, and respond accordingly.
Do more research around the practices of female dominance, as there’s plenty of video, real-life courses, and other readings that will enlighten you further on how to be a femdom. And better yet, you can learn some of the best dominatrix strategies from those experienced in this art to bring back home and try for yourself.
Knowledge is always power, so if you want to take this seriously and safely, work to address this knowledge. After all, power is what this is all about, isn’t it?
And to top it off, know that the desire to maintain a dominant role during sex is one of the most popular, common, and enjoyed kinks to exist in the world. There is never anything wrong with beginning this wildly fun journey, so have some fun.
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