It’s such an odd question, but at the same time, such an important one to ask. Orgasms are one of the most satisfying things to experience, and so pleasurable at that. Orgasms provide stress relief, help lower blood pressure, and make your bond with your sexual partner all the more strong and powerful. Being able to orgasm and experience release is such a gratifying experience, and some people are unable to easily experience this, which is why you may find some women and men who fake orgasms.  

If you are of the mindset that orgasms are relaxing and enjoyable, but you find yourself unable to orgasm, you may find it to be embarrassing and frustrating, and want to just pretend as that sensation has already happened for you, to avoid talking about it. However, faking orgasms is not a good way to go about your life. Sexual incompatibility can be a huge cause of frustration in relationships and marriages. It’s important to always communicate and explain to your partner why and how you feel the way you feel. 

Why do people fake orgasms?

There are conditions such as anorgasmia, which is a condition where you are unable to orgasm during sex. This can be caused by many things, from stress to drug use, anxiety, or too much drinking. All of these things can be talked about with your partner, or a sex therapist to try to come to a good solution. Try to work on not feeling shamed or ashamed by what you’re experiencing, as it is normal for some to feel this way. 

Orgasm can be difficult to reach for many people, for many different reasons. In fact, sometimes it seems like the harder you try, the harder it is to get to where you want to be. Sometimes, sitting back and not constantly struggling to get to that point of orgasm may actually allow you to get there even easier.  

You also may feel the need to fake your orgasm if your partner is not doing something to satisfy you. However, open communication is key to healthy and satisfying sex life, so communicating your needs and wants to your partner may help you fulfill that orgasm that you so desire and eliminate the need for those fake orgasms. This can also help your partner feel more satisfied in the relationship, as they now feel that they have helped you achieve and satisfied your desires. 

Why do women fake orgasms? 

When a woman fakes orgasms, sometimes it is because she is not in the mood to have sexual relations but wants to please her partner. It may also be that her G Spot has not been stimulated, or her clitoris has not been stimulated enough. In this situation, the best solution is to incorporate a G-spot vibrator or a clitoral sex toy. Maybe she doesn’t want to explain or put the effort in to get to the climax, and just wants to satisfy her partner and be done. If you think your partner is having fake orgasms, it’s important to talk that out with her and see why she’s doing that. You may be surprised at her reasoning! Perhaps you’ll find that her drive is not as high as yours, or not as high as you thought it was. You may also find that her needs and wants, and what pleasures her, have changed over time. 

Male fake orgasms.

If your partner is a male and experiences fake orgasms, this is most likely easy to tell. Have a conversation with him and figure out what’s going on! Maybe he’s more interested in foreplay, or his drive has been reduced due to stress at work. This also applies to women and other genders. It’s important to be understanding, just as you want your partner to be when you have conversations about sensitive topics. 

Some partners also fake orgasm because they are sexually bored. In this case, it’s important to talk it out and find new ways to spice up the bedroom. This could be as simple as a whip or sex toy, or more complex and intense, like BDSM play and voyeurism. With the amount of knowledge available to learn how to spice up your sex life, there’s no reason for boredom!

Some believe in the fake-it-until-you-make-it mindset – meaning that if they pretend to orgasm, they will eventually achieve an orgasm. We always caution against this, since it’s important to be able to satisfy each other sexually and physically in general. This does avoid the awkward conversations around whether you are both satisfied with each other, but it leads to betrayal and disappointment later on when one partner finds out the other has been lying to them. This breach of trust may cause them to feel as if they are inadequate and not good enough. You do want to try and avoid making your partner feel this way, so it’s important to be clear and honest from the beginning in your relationship. 

Some may fake orgasms because they are just in a fling, and this is not a serious relationship that really depends on their honesty. In this case, it really is up to the other person to decide whether having fake orgasms is the right way to go about this or not. You are still deceiving the other person, but the other person is not that important in the long-term in your life, so it may make more sense than hurting their feelings or over-communicating that an experience was lacking in the bedroom. In this particular situation, it may not really matter in the future how this experience was for you or them. 

 Fake orgasms make sense in some situations, but in general, we definitely don’t recommend it in your relationships. Being honest and real with your partner builds trust and communication that are key things in relationships to have. It’s important to remember that many people like different things and many people react differently to stress and anxiety in their lives. Something that doesn’t affect you, may affect your partner intensely, including in their sexual lives and ability to get that pleasure that they so desire.