Among the various kinds of intimacy you and your partner can achieve, one of them is experiential intimacy.
What is experiential intimacy, you ask?
To get started, let’s define what experiential intimacy really is: it’s a form of intimacy that is created when you and your partner share experiences together. This can look like multiple things, from cooking to cleaning to outdoor activities like biking to mountain climbing.
So how do you build experiential intimacy in a way that can help you achieve better sex, but also a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner? Well, let us at V for Vibes give you the breakdown of exactly what happens when you establish experiential intimacy in your relationship.
At the heart of experiential intimacy are experiences. You need to be able to do things with your partner that allow you and your partner to bond over activities that you do for fun. If you’re looking to bond over experiences, one of the best ways to do it is to set up a sexy date night with your partner that helps you both have new experiences that will strengthen your bond.
Through experiences, you can form memories together that you can look back upon and cherish when you are older and have the time to reflect.
This can help make your bond much more robust than it is by simply reminding you that you two can have fun together, too! Remember that one of the key aspects of building intimacy in your relationship is to let go of your fears of being vulnerable and truly allowing yourself to feel as intensely as you do for your partner.
How to Build Experiential Intimacy with your Partner
Just like with other forms of intimacy, there are several ways of building experiential intimacy with your partner. The important thing to remember here is that even a sexy date night or intimate sex is sometimes not enough.
You need to be able to fully give in to what you and your partner both want to do – and yes, this means that sometimes you will have to do things you do not particularly like.
Part of cultivating a space that allows experiential intimacy to exist between you and your partner is that you are open to ideas even when you aren’t particularly inclined towards doing them yourself.
Think of this as an exercise in trust-building with your partner – even though you know you haven’t tried something before or don’t like the idea of doing something, knowing that your partner is suggesting it with you in mind shows your partner that you trust them enough to make decisions for both of you.
Of course, this does not mean that you cannot say “no” to anything they suggest; if it’s dangerous or risky or anything that pushes you too far, talk to your partner and come up with innovative and fun new ways of having that experience without actually putting yourselves in danger!
Experiential intimacy allows us to have fun with our partners, and it can create space for new interactions in your relationship when you’re at an especially difficult time in the relationship.
In boring 9-5 jobs? Are you stuck in meetings all day? Feel like you’re reliving the same day over and over again? Break out of that rut by cultivating experiential intimacy with your partner! This can be exciting to do in so many ways; you don’t necessarily have to plan a grand gesture; you can even do small everyday tasks together to make them more fun and make your bond with your partner stronger.
And yes, sex in itself very much can act as a form of experiential intimacy. I mean, who doesn’t love and appreciate all of those memories of hardcore sex or intimate sex?! With this said, it is better to manifest experiential intimacy outside of the bedroom to boost intimacy within the bedroom first.
Why Experiential Intimacy Matters
Experiential intimacy is important for both you and your partner to create a healthy, loving relationship that can foster new ways of having fun. A relationship where you don’t get bored and try new things together? We think that’s a WIN!
Experiential intimacy can help you get over your fears of certain things, too; if you’re scared of heights, maybe being with your partner when you are at elevated heights will help you feel better about it!
In that way, experiential intimacy can go beyond just creating memories and a stronger bond but can even empower you to do things you have been afraid of – all you need is a loving and caring partner who wants to have those experiences with you!
This is important to also help you be open to new experiences altogether. If you’re someone who has been used to a certain lifestyle throughout the time you have been in your relationship, creating new experiences that you and your partner can both be involved in is a great way to break the monotony of life.
It can get you excited, make you feel sensations more deeply, and can elevate your mood for the rest of your day. Think of it as a present at the end of your day – you and your partner have something exciting planned at night which will affect how you go about your regular day. You’ll be chirpy and cheerful and excited to get to the metaphorical present waiting for you at home. If this isn’t enough to convince you to build experiential intimacy with your partner, let’s give it one more shot.
Experiences can change the way your brain functions – they can form memories and can inform the way you respond to things and interactions later in life. If you have good experiences with your partner, you will be able to think about them later on when you’re older, and this can evoke the same feelings that you had earlier when you were living through those experiences. It can act as a treasure chest of feel-good moments that you can revisit and relive each time you think about the experiential intimacy you and your partner share.
Examples of Experiential Intimacy
Some examples of experiential intimacy have already been mentioned in the article, such as planning a sexy date night where you two get dressed to the man and head out for a wonderful night out. This can also be made easier and more affordable by creating the right environment to have that sexy date night at home!
Split the chores and the preparations for this date night at home and turn it into a long, drawn-out experience instead of just heading out for dinner. One of you can be in charge of the cutting and the prep, while the other can handle the cooking. Or you can try splitting the food you make according to your tastes – one can take over the entrée, while the other does dessert.
One sets the table, and the other cleans it up and helps with the dishes. Experiential intimacy can be built in day-to-day things, such as grocery shopping and cooking a meal together, and can include new, wild things you haven’t done before.
Rent out bikes and cycle to a part of the town neither of you has seen before or get plane tickets for a short vacation to one of your favorite destinations! The possibilities are endless when you and your partner are both open to new experiences together and cherish the time you spend with each other.
You don’t have to overcomplicate this, and sometimes being simple is the most effective means at catering to experiential intimacy, but regardless:
It is your job to make the experiences happen!!