How to Tell Someone you Love Them.

Sep 24, 2021

Love is a fickle thing. As humans, we have discovered the answers to many of life’s great questions- but how love works is still a mystery. Every situation is different; therefore, the answer to the question of how to tell someone you love them will differ for each person. 

We’ve all been there, looking at a question with no idea of the answer, but the best way to answer it is logically. There are many ways you can tell someone you love them without being verbal. 

Be sure in yourself! 

If you’re going to go down the traditional route of verbally telling someone you love them, the most important thing to be sure of before telling someone you love them is that you actually do! Being steadfast in your belief with exude confidence which will attract similar feelings in reciprocation. Expressions of love shouldn’t be used to restart a dwindling relationship, to try and get someone into bed, or for any other personal gain. It should be a way to express a deep, honest feeling. 

The feeling of loving someone and being loved should be overwhelming to the point you have no doubt in your mind that the love is real, but that just the question, how to say I love you, remains. You must clearly know the answer of how to tell you if you love someone before you approach how to tell someone you love them. 

Once you are confident in your love for that person, nothing should put you off. Every person is different, and every relationship is different too. Therefore, there is no right or wrong way to express your love, only the way that is best suited to your relationship. Of course, there is always the thought of overkill or love bombing. Try to limit the number of times you say “I love you” unless you absolutely want to, and utilize different ways to say I love you instead. The last thing we want is to have this phrase become ungenuine.  

Timing

The question isn’t just how but when? The pressures of a relationship can seem overwhelming, especially when just starting out, but nothing good comes quick! Getting to know your partner or even another couple can take time, and this is important, so you know your feelings are valid. 

Once you know you are in love with the person and you want to tell them, then don’t wait. Time stops for no one, and this is true when it comes to love. 

When you’re hungry, you decide what food you want and then either make it or order it; love is similar… Once you know you’re in love and you want to tell the person you love them, then do it! The “hunger” will only get worse the longer you leave it! 

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Actions speak louder than words.

Being in love is more than just saying the words, “I love you”. Show the person you love that you love them. This can take many forms, starting with very basic actions. Listening to your loved one is one of the most powerful actions a person can perform. Whether listening to stories from their day at work or listening to their passions and peeves, this will help you ensure you can show them you love them. Your partner may not like PDA’s (public displays of affection), so trying to kiss them, hug them and be affectionate in public could make them feel awkward, so having listened to them previously, you can ensure you make them feel comfortable. This will also help you with your questions of how to tell someone you love them. Knowing your partner from listening is one action that will be sure to impress, but using this information will really blow their socks off! This could be cooking their favorite meal or taking a trip to their favorite location, setting up the sexy date night of their dreams. Large lavish gifts are lovely; sure, everyone loves presents. But a small, thoughtful action, such as sending love and trust text messages for him, or a personalized gift, will mean more to the one you love than thoughtless extravagant gifts. 

Vulnerability 

In your quest to tell someone you love them feeling vulnerable is natural. But showing you can be vulnerable to your partner can be one of the most powerful ways to show you are in love. Expressing your worries and fears and allowing your partner to support you will not only show them your true feelings but having their support and assist you will give you the confidence that your feelings of love are mirrored. 

If your partner starts to open up about their vulnerabilities, be there for them, even if this is difficult. Empathy in response to vulnerability is a way of showing love without saying the “I love you”. 

Be creative!

As with all other points above, knowing the person you want to tell you love them is key to making the moment perfect. This will be an exciting moment for you, so use that energy to your advantage. Decide where you want to tell them you’re in love with them. This could be a location that is special to you both, your first meeting place, somewhere picturesque, or even at home when relaxing. The location will not matter; the message you are going to deliver is the important bit. 

Choosing when to say I love you can be the most difficult decision. Bursting out and shouting I love you may not come across as heartfelt. If you are confident in your feelings, then take your time, have it in your mind, talk to your partner. Speak about topics they are interested in and engage in conversation; this will show you know them and that you do, in fact, listen to them. Then when the moment is right, say those words, “I love you”.

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I messed up…

The moment wasn’t right, and I said I love you. I told the person I’m in love with that I love them, and it did not go as I planned. What now? 

The moment will never be right, but when you do say it, that will be the right moment! Planning how to tell someone you love them is not easy, but then again, neither is love. There may never be that fairy tale moment where your eyes meet, candles are burning, the lights are low, and the mood is right because life is not a fairy tale. The most important point to remember is that you’re in love and you want to express that. This doesn’t need to be a fundamental life-changing moment that will go down in the history books; this can be a casual I love you when at your most relaxed because it’s the message that is the most important part, the connection, the feeling, the bond! 

This should not just apply to that first time of saying I love you, but should be an ongoing theme in your relationship. That feeling of being loved is one of the strongest feelings known, so share it, let that special person know they are loved! 

Saying I love you is a way that we humans verbally deliver the feelings we have inside. Those three words indicate vulnerability and intimacy between two (or more!) people. Saying I love you sends a message of trust and commitment, but it’s also one of the most globally recognized phrases that mean so much to us all. It collectively binds us together, and we all know just how much these words mean. 

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