If you are dreaming about being in a relationship with someone else, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your current relationship is headed straight for a downward spiral. There might, however, be a few underlying reasons as to why your mind is wandering towards the idea of being with someone else, and it’s important to recognize these so that you can approach them in a manner that is healthy, honest, and beneficial to both yourself and your present partner. 

Here are a few strategies to implement within your life and a few and things to keep in mind if you have been dreaming about someone else while in a relationship, and don’t worry; the honest truth is that relationships can be difficult, they often require a lot of work from both sides, and you’re not the only one who has gone through this exact situation. 

Why Am I Dreaming About Being in a Relationship With Someone Else?

Everyone’s reasoning behind dreaming about another human being either in an intimate, sexual, or even friendship-based way will be different, but there are a few common reasons that answer the ‘why’ that might hold true for yourself. It is important to first recognize the reasons behind your lustful daydreaming, or literal dreaming, so that you can then approach and adjust your current affairs accordingly to work towards fixing the probable issues at hand. 

It’s Just a Simple Fantasy

Sometimes, dreaming about being in a relationship with someone else is nothing short of an overall harmless fantasy. The construct of monogamy is absolutely attainable, but so many of us meet our partners for life at a very young age or at a time when the desire for exploration is vibrant and strong. With this, of course we’re going to have little dreams about the thought of being someone else, and honestly, that’s okay! 

This style of simple fantasy might just be your mind attempting to place itself in an imaginary reality so you can experience the idea of another life without really experiencing anything at all. This is a way of learning, as it allows you to think about what aspects of another person that you, at least think, are valuable, exciting, or helpful. 

What to Do:

If you’re having these types of fantasies, a good place to start is by listening to the reasons behind your mind conjuring up such thoughts so that you can implement change within your current relationship where needed. 

As an example, let’s say your current man doesn’t work out much, even if it’s not to his own fault, and you’ve been daydreaming about that muscular hunk who you’ve ogled at the gym the past couple of weeks. Perhaps this is your heart signaling to your brain that this is simply a characteristic of someone that you like and that you’ve finally realized you are attracted to this body type more than others. Instead of turning thoughts into action, like flirting with him or overstepping serious boundaries and cheating, try approaching your current partner with what you have now figured out about yourself. 

Be honest with them in the fact that you really do enjoy someone with a little more muscles, and that this trait is an unchangeable aspect of your biological personality, and that although you absolutely love and adore them for their current body (remember, it is never healthy to force change upon another, you are simply speaking your mind for how you feel, and always be kind and sincere when doing so), you might choose to express that you’d really enjoy it if they decided to workout with you next time. 

This principle applies to multiple aspects of a relationship, such as someone who cooks, someone who is extremely successful, someone who is attentive to their children, etc., and to summarize: 

When you fantasize and catch yourself dreaming about being in a relationship with someone else, you should use what you are subliminally telling yourself about that particular person to define areas of positive change that can be adjusted with your current partner to better cater to your wishes and desires. 

It’s a Sign of Unhappiness

On a more extreme side to this argument, dreaming about someone else while in a relationship might be a sign of a more severe underlying issue- the issue that you really are not happy with your current partner to the honest core of your existence. 

If you find yourself constantly coming up with ideas in your head of other people who might suit you better, whether this is through personality, looks, success, or anything in between, and as you do so, you find yourself distancing yourself from your partner because of these thoughts, then you should ask yourself: am I genuinely happy in my relationship? 

How can you tell, though, when this is a sign of unhappiness or just a sign that there is an area in your present relationship that might need a little adjusting? This can be difficult to do, and in the end, you just have to ask yourself and answer yourself with sincere honesty. 

Are you simply discovering new things you like that you feel like your partner could do better in? Are you thinking of these things because you want the best for your relationship, and you want to love your partner to the highest possible extent? And by bringing this up to them, you hope that this will result in small, positive changes towards being able to love them even more? If so, then you’re most likely just projecting your internal desires towards them, and overall, it’s just a fantasy!

But if, as you catch yourself dreaming, you feel discontentment, resentment, or any other powerfully negative feeling, and this results in pushing your partner away instead of trying to help them, avoiding them, or crossing lines by interacting with another person without their knowledge, then you might be realizing that you really aren’t happy in your current situation.

What to Do:

Should this be the case, there’s never a good or right answer as to what to do. You’re not happy, and you are entirely deserving of happiness, so how can you achieve this? Only you have the true answer to this, as only you know your level of unhappiness best.

Instead of ditching ship, try implementing new forms of communication with your partner, work towards building a healthier base of love and connection before trying to reach the tip of the pyramid of issues, and try to see if they are open to the idea of change where you feel change is needed. Sometimes all it takes is a talk with your partner, as they might be entirely oblivious to the ideas contained within your head, to see ample amounts of adjustment that leads to more happiness. 

Dreaming about that guy you ran into who gave you all that flirting attention? Tell your partner how good it felt receiving this attention, that being wanted felt amazing, and that you wish they would do more in this department, and see if you can’t fix the little things one by one. 

Your Sex Life Might Need Help 

So many instances of dreaming about being in a relationship with someone else are derived from a lack of fulfilment within your sex life. Although many different types of intimacy exist, it is no secret that sexual intimacy affects so many other facets of our lives, and a happy sex life is synonymous with an overall happy life! 

If you catch yourself daydreaming about the thought of another, then look into your sexuality to determine why this might be the case. Does your partner’s sex drive differ from yours? Do they enjoy things in the bedroom that you do not? Do you want to explore, but they enjoy a routine?

Answering these questions can help you to determine if sex is a prominent driving force behind your wishful thinking, and if so, this actually isn’t the worst-case scenario at all! That’s the beautiful thing about sex- that WE are in control and that with the suitable approaches, you can quite literally change the quality of your sex life in a single day. 

What to Do:

If your sex life has you dreaming about someone else while in a relationship, then it’s time to change things up a bit to cultivate your dream relationship with who you are currently with! 

Start with practicing sex talks so that you can openly and honestly express your concerns, wishes, and desires with your partner and so that they are on the same page in knowing that your sex life needs help. 

Once you’ve talked through everything, our best advice is to simply have fun with it! If there’s an idea in your mind, then do your absolute best to bring it to fruition. Try exploring with new and exciting sexual ideas, like incorporating a little bit of role-playing into your next experience. 

Try following through with any kinks or fetishes you may have kept secret for so long, as catering to our deepest internal desires is a keystone element to sexual gratification. 

Bring out the sex toys to enhance sensation, get a little risky or rough, play some enjoyable and laughable sex games to manifest a lighthearted aura surrounding your shared intimacy. There are so many things that you can do to change the game of sex up entirely, but it will never happen on its own, so its up to you to be the force behind the change! What are you waiting for?!