Whether sex gets better in a relationship or not can play on the mind a lot – especially after the honeymoon phase has worn off and you’re thinking long term. We’ve all been there, so don’t worry! From doodling in sketchpads to secretly Googling wedding dresses and rings, it’s normal to fantasize about the future.

There are many reasons you might think about the quality of your sex life as your relationship goes on (which is good! It’s always important to be mindful of your pleasure), and yes, it’s likely the sex will change as it progresses and grows, but there’s no reason this should be a bad thing. In fact, we think the opposite—sex DOES get better in a relationship!

The reality is that the quality of sex over time depends on both partners’ willingness to work towards sexual fulfillment together – that means thinking about your own pleasure and that of your partner. Let’s take a look at why sex in a relationship can be mind-blowing and how to keep it great as time goes on. 

Is it true?

Yes, we really do think that sex gets better in a relationship and that a foundation of trust and mutual understanding can be key to long-term sexual fulfillment. There are plenty of reasons why sex should get better with time. One (pretty obvious) reason is the deeper emotional connection that sex brings when you’re in love with someone. Emotional and physical intimacy are perfect partners and together bring a whole new meaning to the term “making love”.

Another thing: kinks and fetishes can change or just appear out of nowhere, and there are few people better equipped to explore those with you than someone you’re in a relationship with. Besides, we’ve all those cheeky little quirks that we’re nervous about sharing with short-term sexual partners. A long-term relationship brings with it one word: CONFIDENCE!

This doesn’t always happen for everyone, and you shouldn’t feel bad if this isn’t the case for you. It’s normal to be unsure of how to navigate a changing sexual dynamic whilst firmly in a relationship, and it never hurts to prepare when you’re at the start! In fact, even if you’re single, it’s totally normal to consider how best to cope with potential surprises or disappointments in future relationships, especially when dating.

A Firm Foundation

Establishing a firm foundation can be important to ensure better sex as the relationship goes on. This means telling your partner what makes you orgasm (Cutting out the fake orgasms has done wonders for my sex life – seriously, ladies, just STOP!) and preparing to explore what makes them tick too. It’s okay to take things at your own pace and make sure you’re totally comfortable before opening up to your partner, but really try to establish healthy communication early on. After all, everyone likes different things, and your partner isn’t a mind-reader!

Increasing Openness

Yes, communication is super important when it comes to sex, but it isn’t always easy when single or early on in dating. Yet another reason we think sex gets better with time; you’re more likely to tell a long-term partner if they’re doing something you don’t like – and vice versa!

From personal experience, being with a fling or one-night-stand can mean tolerating things that I’d definitely hate if it were long term. Haven’t showered? Nails too scratchy? Ugh! It’s a no from me – but only if I’m comfortable enough to tell them. That person is also much more likely to respond positively to feedback.

If you haven’t already, try being more explicit when talking to your partner about what you like and don’t like – in turn, be more receptive to their desires during sex. Sexual fulfillment can never be one-sided! If you’re both happy, your sex life will blossom, and that equals great sex in a relationship!

Time keeps Ticking…

Many people have been sold on the idea that sex gets less interesting in a relationship. The more time wears on, the less fun sex is – right? Wrong! In reality, it takes two people who are willing to be active and receptive to each other’s needs and work towards continual fulfillment. In other words, if it’s getting boring, it’s down to you guys.

As a relationship goes on, dynamics change – the way you see your partner as you both develop emotionally is almost certain to be different from how things were at the start. Kids, careers, the long-term routine – it can all impact your sex life. It’s important to keep things sizzling between the sheets as your relationship grows!

New Exploration

So yeah, sometimes a bedroom can become…well…same-y – but the sensation of being fully comfortable trying new things together is something that can’t be understated! Even if you and your partner are finding yourselves a bit bored, there’s nobody better to open up to new sexual experiences with. This is one of the things that makes sex get better and better in a relationship.

Trying sex toys, for example, can be a great boost to any relationship – plus, if you’re one of the MANY ladies out there who struggle to orgasm even with an established partner, sex toys can totally revolutionize your sex life. It can be daunting, especially if this isn’t something you’re familiar with, but don’t worry – that’s what your long-term partner is there for! 

It’s great to have someone you’re 100% comfortable with to help you discover new sexual fulfillment. There are plenty of different sex toys out there, and we can guarantee there’ll be something that you’ll both love – and they’re guaranteed to liven up any bedroom.

We talked about communication above, but establishing it is one thing – it can be lost after a while. There shouldn’t be anything scary about sitting down with your partner and discussing sex. Is there something you want to try? Do you feel that you want more time with them? Could you be doing more for their pleasure? Don’t let these questions just bounce around in your head. It’ll drive you crazy, and it’ll negatively impact your sex life even more!

Making time for each other, though, is the ultimate factor in ensuring better sex in a relationship. The key to a healthy, happy sex life with your partner is quality alone time and keeping yourselves on the same page. Your sex life and relationship can be just as important as everything else that keeps you busy, so don’t feel guilty for prioritizing it. Look out for your pleasure, and don’t let your desires take a back seat.