If you feel like your sex life is going stale, it’s time to grab your favorite sex toys and take masturbation to the next level by trying dirty talk JOI (jerk-off-instruction) with your partner. Keep reading to find out how JOI works and how you can create your own script.
What is JOI (a jerk-off instruction)?
Dirty talk JOI is an instruction given to a man to show him how to masturbate and achieve orgasm. It’s a common BDSM practice where a woman stays in charge and controls when her partner is allowed to come. While it suits dominant women best, it can be a way to spice things up in a vanilla relationship too. If you’re ready to add excitement to your bedroom, keep on reading to find out how to create your own jerk-off instructions.
How To Create Your Own Dirty Talk JOI Session?
While a script is the main part of jerk-off instructions, there are other things you should experiment with to make this experience as exciting as possible.
1. Cock worship
Cock worship is precisely what it sounds like, and it’s a huge part of dirty talk JOI kink. When you’re experimenting with cock worship, the first step is to let your partner know that you admire him and make his genital the center of attention. For example, you could tell him that you love the shape of his penis, that he looks hot, and you feel honored to be able to witness this kind of beauty.
Well, you get the idea. Make sure to focus on what kind of feelings your partner evokes in you instead of using pre-learned sentences that don’t mean a thing to you. It’s fine to use examples for inspiration, but try to be genuine as you become more comfortable with this practice. Then, you can pair verbal admiration with gentle massage. Don’t rush things and focus on how soft your partner’s skin feels against your fingers. Make it as sensual as possible and move on to the handjob later. When you’re exploring your partner’s genitals, focus on their scent and appearance but remember to keep eye contact now and then too.
2. Orgasm encouragement
Have you ever heard of the five love languages? They are five different ways of expressing and receiving affection from your partner. One of them is words of affirmation that rely on supportive language and let your partner know their effort is appreciated. Whether words of affirmation are your partner’s love language or not, it’s always nice to feel valued, so one way to make your script work is by introducing an orgasm encouragement technique. The key is to cheer your partner on and put his pleasure first. A dirty talk JOI doesn’t have to be dirty. It can also be affectionate and encouraging. Here are some examples of what to say:
- “You look so cute when you come”
- “You can do it. Come on, come for me.”
- “You’re doing so well. Keep going.”
It’s even more effective if you combine it with your partner’s kink. For example:
- “Be a good boy and cum for me.”
- “Mommy loves it when you come.”
- “You’re doing well, but you have to do it faster. You know what happens if you don’t come, don’t you?”
3. Prepare a script
Once you’ve understood more about what dirty talk JOI is about, it’s time to prepare your own script. But first, watch porn for inspiration – you can easily find dirty talk JOI videos on most platforms. To create your own script:
- Remember that you’re the one in charge.
- Tell your partner how hard he can jerk off, what kind of movement he’s allowed to do and where he can touch.
- During the masturbation session, be as verbal as possible; comment on everything he’s doing.
For example, you can say something like, “You’re really good at touching yourself, aren’t you?” or “Let’s make more effort, shall we?”, depending on whether you’re going for positive reinforcement or humiliation.
If you’re stuck, here’s an example of a jerk off script:
Take a good look at my body because that’s all you’ll be allowed to do. See how my boobs are so perky, and my ass looks nice in this underwear? They’re yours to look at while you’re touching yourself. Now, let’s see how much this turns you on. Grab your dick and move your hand up and down – just like that. Now, give it a squeeze and play with your balls, then look me in the eyes. I love watching you jerk off like that. Look at how I’m bending over – this is where I’d like you to come. But we aren’t there yet. Massage the tip of your penis and then continue stroking the shaft slowly. Yes, very well. Now let’s go fast. Come on; you can do it, can’t you see how hot I am for you? Well done, baby, you’ve done it.
4. Set the right atmosphere
While preparing a script is half of the success, you have to perform it well too. The first time is always stressful, so make sure you set the right atmosphere to calm your nerves and help you get in the mood. For example, you can dim the lights, play sensual music or light the candles. If you live with housemates, choose the time when they’re out to avoid distractions. You can also put sexy makeup on and wear nice lingerie to give yourself more confidence and make him want you even more. If your partner is into humiliation, you can deny him orgasm and tease him verbally or physically. For example, you can say, ‘Look at how good my boobs look in this bra and focus on them while you’re touching yourself.’
You can also give him a little lap dance while he’s bringing himself to orgasm, then tell him to stop when he’s close to coming – repeat this process a few times. While performing the script, you can watch your partner masturbate and then maintain eye contact but don’t worry about keeping things 100% according to the plan or serious all the time. It’s okay to laugh if things get awkward. No one is a pro when doing something for the first time.
5. Record a video with instructions for your partner
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or simply want to try something new, recording a dirty talk JOI video is one way to make things more exciting in the bedroom. This little twist will add more versatility to your sex life and improve the connection between you and your partner. For most couples, recording an intimate video is a huge step as it requires establishing a strong bond and trust. If you record a video for your partner, you aren’t just providing him with a good time but also saying that you feel comfortable in the relationship.
Before you record the video, watch dirty talk JOI videos for inspiration, and then make sure the lighting is sufficient and that you look as sexy and confident as possible. If you prefer not to show your face, a voice recording works too. You can combine your dirty talk JOI script with ASMR techniques to make the experience even more sensual.