Upon first thought, any mention of a ruined orgasm sounds terrible.

I mean for most of us, aside from our innate instincts to reproduce, sex is done for sheer pleasure. That massive sigh of relief that comes with fulfilling sexual desires, the immediate and long-term positive effects that can only be derived from a mind-altering, body-shaking orgasm from either a partner or through intimate masturbation. 

So then, of course, to ruin an orgasm in a sense would ruin the entire experience, right? And afterall, wouldn’t this simply make things worse as your sexual organs now ache for more?

To some of us, the answer is clear and concise. An astounding ‘yes’ as we do all we can to avoid a ruined orgasm. But right on the other end of the spectrum, others would answer ‘no’. 

There is actually an art to what is known as a ruined orgasm, and to some, this is actually a sexual kink that really turns them on. And there’s a lot of reasons for this, and also a lot that goes into a ruined orgasm. 

So let us not only answer the question of “What is a ruined orgasm?”, but also dive into the interesting specifics behind a ruined orgasm to see if it is something that you may wish to pursue, as there are actually quite a few benefits to ruining something so special right before it happens. 

What is a Ruined Orgasm?

Before getting into the details, let’s start here. A ruined orgasm is indeed exactly what it sounds like. 

Ruining an orgasm begins with inducing sexual pleasure in whatever ways you enjoy (with a partner, multiple partners, solo) up until the point at which you or your partner are about to climax. And I mean right up until the point, so close that you can almost feel it. 

And just as you are about to allow your body to fully succumb to all of the beautiful, blissful, and sensual pleasures of an orgasm… The orgasm is then stripped away. 

Your partner will either stop pleasuring you, you stop pleasuring them, or you will stop pleasuring yourself so that your body can no longer cum, or so that your orgasm is just about as bad and anticlimactic as it could ever be. In other words, your or your partner’s orgasm is purposefully ruined. 

If you do manage to actually climax, then a large aspect of your ruined orgasm includes your dominant partner ensuring that they interfere with the feel-good nature of it. For example, right as you cum they might slap you or humiliate you to distract you from the otherwise enjoyable and euphoric climax, making it feel rather bland.

Ruined orgasms is a kink often practiced in the world of BDSM, as it is a highly effective sexual strategy of implementing extreme dominant behavior onto your sub. After all, what could be worse for a sub than getting so close to cumming and having it all taken away?

You might think nothing, but some subs actually very much enjoy this behavior, and it is part of their masochism (enjoying pain during sex) likings.

Ruined Orgasm versus Edging.

If you know what edging is, then you might think that a ruined orgasm and edging are the same when they are in fact quite different. 

Edging is very similar to ruining an orgasm in the way that sexual pleasure is halted right before the climax. The main difference here then is that with edging, there does come a point when you fully orgasm, and the teasing and taking away from it during your sexual interaction in fact makes it so that when you do cum, the feelings are highlighted and it is just that much better. 

With a ruined orgasm, there is no orgasm at all, and there isn’t supposed to be. You not only take it away, but you prevent it from happening completely. 

What does it feel like?

The aftermath of a ruined orgasm is part of why it is such an excellent dominant behavior. He/she who’s orgasm has been ruined will probably feel urges or slight anger, frustration, disappointment, or anything similar. The need to release sexual desire but maintain the sheer inability to do so. 

And then there is the physical pain. Because males are more often than not the gender receiving a ruined orgasm, then the pain of this will feel pretty much exactly like blue balls. 

For females, you can expect discomfort in your own sexual organs. 

By inflicting this pain and preventing the climax, the dominant is showcasing that they are in control of the sub’s sexual pleasures. 

The only positive for the sub is that the next orgasm, if/when that happens, will feel so much better and so much more relieving. 

Accidental Ruined Orgasm.

Some of us might hate the idea of a ruined orgasm or not take part in a BDSM relationship, yet have still experienced a ruined orgasm. That is because ruined orgasms can happen completely by accident. 

Have you ever been interrupted while in a sexual setting? Like someone walking in on you masturbating or recieving an important phone call during sex. 

If an experience like that has made it so that you have to completely stop your sexual activity, then you probably know what the sensations of a ruined orgasm feel like. 

It isn’t usually fun, but again, you will not take your next orgasm for granted in the slightest!

How to Give a Ruined Orgasm.

The thing about giving a ruined orgasm is that you are really just taking something away! If you have been with a partner for a long enough time, then you probably know what they like that gets them off. Start with consent, of course, and ask if a ruined orgasm is something that they want to try. 

If so, then simply carry on with your sexual activities as normal, but make sure they voice to you when they are really close to climaxing or that you can guarantee that you know when they are about to cum. And make sure that they know well when to voice if they are no longer comfortable. 

A large aspect of ruined orgasms are intertwined with increased time lengths of foreplay and sex, as this only increases the internal desire to orgasm, so make sure to spend extra time on the teasing and pre-sex fun. 

Right when your partner is to the point of cumming, completely stop all sexual activity, stimulation, and movements. Once you notice that they have calmed down from almost climaxing, then begin to do this again until they can no longer take it, and call things ‘done’ even though they didn’t finish. 

That, or if they do begin to cum, do everything you can to make the experience as non-enjoyable as possible. 

As a ruined orgasm implies, your job is to ruin the experience, so overall this dominant behavior is rather straightforward and easy to ensue.