There is no right or wrong when it comes to sex. Both intimate sex and hardcore sex are fantastic ways to connect with your partner. While the best sex comes from what you and your partner have negotiated, here are some tips on what type of intimate couple sex is best for the moment.

Situation: You just met someone new.

We’ve all felt the rush of adrenaline from meeting someone new before. That zip in your step is exciting! In the new relationship drama of “Do they or Don’t They Like Me,” sex ends up being a huge hit of dopamine for both parties. Dopamine is the chemical that is released in the brain when you accomplish something. In this case, it’s the affirmation that yes, they did really like what you look like, or yes, we really are compatible. That rush of a win is a great time to seek sexual release. 

Believe it or not, in these situations, hardcore sex is the way to go. Finally, releasing the energy after the anxiety of getting to know someone new is such a cathartic way to connect. It’ll feel great to become acquainted with one another’s primal and intense selves. There’s nothing wrong with quick and heavy sex despite what you may have been taught. Your body is already prepared for this; after all, dating really is just a mating ritual. Besides, holding someone accountable for intimate couple sex when you haven’t had the chance to connect with them vulnerably is setting some too high expectations. You’ll be able to connect more intimately when you both take the time to get to know one another. For now, let go, and enjoy a romp. 

Situation: You just learned something new about each other. 

Learning about one another is such a gradual process. And it isn’t a finite process either. As we continue to evolve as individuals, we learn about ourselves and our partners in new ways. It may be that you found a new hobby or that you finally learn something about their past that they’ve kept close to their chest. Every time we release something close to our heart with a loved one, it’s a great opportunity to release some loving energy.  

Now is the perfect time for truly making love. Intimate sex is an easy follow-up as it typically involves even more vulnerability. In these most private and sensual moments, you’ll find the bravery needed to let your partner know what does and doesn’t feel good. Your recent learning out of the bedroom may lead to the courage to learn new things in the bedroom too. Perhaps there is a new kink or interesting position you’ve been waiting to try out. This is a great time to enjoy those moments in intimate couple sex. 

Situation: You just had an argument.

Unfortunately, every relationship is going to have some times where you don’t get along. It’s natural as people develop closer relationships to eventually find the places where you and your partner aren’t alike. Hopefully, you and your partner work together in these moments to regulate your feelings and take a break to check in with yourselves. But when you’re done hearing one another out and getting what you need, it’s a great time to enjoy some hardcore sex. 

While the hot rage sex in movies skips the crucial step where you actually work together to solve your issues, they understand the lusty moments that can come from a disagreement. There’s a lot of intensity in those intimate moments when you both want to kill them and kiss them. Hardcore sex is a great way to balance out that tension and release it. 

This is the time to fool around with bold movements and forceful action. This could mean throwing one another around in bed or some “I can hardly breathe anymore” kisses. You’ll both feel better after you reconnect in the intense way you need after intense feelings. 

Situation: You or your partner is grieving.

Loss in life cannot be avoided. It may not be someone dying, but there are places where grief is inevitable. Maybe you or your partner lost a job, or a close friend moves away, or even your favorite restaurant closes. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but one of the essential steps in grief is really sitting with that sadness and letting it run its course. And while a partner can always offer a great listening ear, our bodies can also help us release that sadness. 

If you’re both feeling up to it, it’s a great time for intimate couple sex. Sadness moves slowly, and sometimes the gradual energy of a slow build-up can help us recalibrate back to equilibrium. This is the time for the steady escalation from long massage to slow touching to sex and beyond. Taking your time and truly caring for one another’s bodies with intimate sex can be just the sort of loving catharsis your partner may need. When words of encouragement and support aren’t landing, the physical connection can truly be a loving way to connect with those who are going through hard times. 

Situation: You or your partner just accomplished something. 

Buying a new car, getting a high-paying promotion at work, or finally getting the courage to start your own business are all worthy of celebration. They also come with a lot of intensity. Whenever we check a new thing off of our life bucket list, we have a burst of excitement to connect with others. Hardcore sex is a great way to redirect this exciting energy. Intimate sex would simply take too long for these moments when you’re ready to explode with enthusiasm. 

If you think of it, other ways of celebrating just don’t quite scratch the itch that sex does. Going out for a night of celebratory drinks may be great, but if you’re not connecting with someone in the process, you may find that you just end up hungover and without the satisfaction you were looking for. Similarly, buying something extravagant may not be aligned with your financial goals. Some rougher hardcore sex is just what the doctor ordered in these circumstances. Excited celebratory sex is perfect for sharing your virility and triumphing with the one you love, especially if you don’t have the patience for more intimate couple sex moments.  

Situation: You’re celebrating a milestone together.

Continuing to go through life’s journeys with someone else is what makes relationships worth the work. We all want someone to share this with. From enjoying your first anniversary to celebrating a decade or more together, these milestones give us an opportunity to reflect. If you’re looking to connect sexually on these milestones, intimate couple sex is the ticket here. 

Milestones offer an opportunity for gratitude and reflection. That process is both incredibly joyful and can be a long journey. Before engaging in intimate sex, you may start your evening by reflecting on the story of your time together. This takes time, and while it may not seem like it, it’s really foreplay for a more intimate encounter. Building the narrative of what your relationship looks like shows just how well you’ve gotten to know each other. When you’re ready to escalate to sex, you’ll know just the ways your partner likes being touched and be able to get the nuanced types of pleasure you need. Intimate sex is a great way to begin your next chapter together. 

The Perfect Balance of Hardcore Sex and Intimate Sex.

Sex can really be used as a tool for intimacy in your relationships. Approaching it strategically based on what’s going on with your life could give you and your partner the fulfillment you’re looking for. There’s never a right way to enjoy rough or intimate couple sex, and perhaps a little bit of both is what we’ve needed all along!