Nothing brings people closer than cuddling, especially after a wildly invigorating love-making session, sex toys and clothing scattered on the bed, the post-climax connection and come-down a must. While it might have sexual undertones, cuddling can also be non-sexual.
This article will answer questions such as; ‘what does cuddling after sex mean?’, ‘why is it important?’ and more.
What Does It Mean When He Wants To Cuddle After Sex?
So you’ve been casually seeing a guy, and you’ve been comfortable with the way things are. But then, he suddenly wants to cuddle after sex, and your mind fills with different scenarios. You start wondering if there’s a hidden meaning behind this change in behavior.
So what does cuddling after sex really mean?
1. He just likes to cuddle
The notion that only women enjoy cuddling is a myth, as we all are humans who like feeling emotionally connected. Unless he initially acted emotionally unavailable, his affectionate behavior might simply mean that he enjoys the hormone rush of emotional connection. The oxytocin that your body releases during a cuddling session can increase your feeling of safety and reduce your stress. When he wants to cuddle after sex, he might simply want to feel good.
2. You have a connection
Having sexual chemistry with someone means wanting to stay as close to them as possible. If a guy thinks you have a connection, he won’t be able to get enough of you and will want to cuddle after sex. Watch out for other signs of affection, such as stroking your hair, holding your hand, and gazing into your eyes. If he thinks you’re a good match, his body language will tell you.
3. He likes you or became attached
If you’re wondering what cuddling means, this is probably a scenario you like the sound of the most. Could he actually have a crush on you? It’s possible, although it might also mean that he became emotionally attached. Sex is mostly about hormones that can easily mess with your brain. If something feels good, it’s only natural you might want to prolong this feeling. While a lot of men might be too tired for round two, cuddling can be a great substitute.
4. He feels comfortable
If your partner does something that goes beyond what friends with benefits usually do, it’s easy to overthink it. But before you jump to conclusions, remember the lesson from point one; cuddling triggers the release of the love hormones. Even if he might not want to start a relationship with you, everyone needs affection, and it’s nice to be held sometimes. Plus, you might get on well as friends, and cuddling means he feels comfortable enough to let his guard down.
In most cases, cuddling after sex doesn’t just mean one thing. If you want to be sure, you should have a serious conversation with your partner to find out more.
Why Is Cuddling Important?
While post-sex contact isn’t a must in friends with benefits type of relationships, you shouldn’t skip cuddling if you’re committed to someone. Check out some of the benefits of cuddling below:
1. It increases the bond
Oxytocin is called the love hormone for a reason. Cuddling after sex can make you feel more connected to each other and strengthen your bond, which is what makes a relationship last.
2. It can increase sexual satisfaction
Being kinky in bed and trying new things isn’t necessarily what will guarantee feeling fulfilled in bed. Previous studies reveal that showing affection towards your partner after sex promotes sexual satisfaction. [1]
3. It can be a chance for an intimate talk
Cuddling doesn’t have to come after sex. On the contrary, it’s something you should do as often as possible as it’s one of the best forms of non-sexual intimacy. Cuddling can be a great opportunity to talk about what’s on your mind, from your fears and desires, to what worked in your lovemaking session and what didn’t. Nothing can make you feel safer than being embraced by your partner. This improves connection, and the more connected you feel, the more likely you’re to be vulnerable and share your emotions.
4. It improves your mood
For the reasons mentioned above, cuddling after sex makes you feel good. Being in a good mood makes you feel more relaxed and more likely to work through relationship problems.
5. It makes you feel less ‘empty’ after a hookup
While cuddling with your booty call isn’t something that will necessarily be beneficial in the long run, it can help you feel more fulfilled after sex. I don’t know about you, but leaving cuddling out of the equation feels like something is missing. If I’m having sex with someone, I might as well get the whole package.
I’m In a Relationship, But We Don’t Cuddle: Now What?
Cuddling is a form of non-sexual intimacy that is an essential part of every close relationship. Couples whose love language is touch are more likely to trust each other and respect each other’s boundaries. So if you and your partner don’t cuddle after sex or any other time, you have every right to be upset and wonder why.
But first, you have to consider the context. Have you never cuddled with your partner before? If that’s the case, it might indicate that he either doesn’t feel comfortable enough around you yet (if it’s the start of the relationship) or that he struggles with expressing his emotions. It might have something to do with his attachment style: if his parents didn’t show him affection, he might struggle to initiate physical contact with other people, even if he wants to. Consider how he reacts when you try to hug him and try to have a serious conversation, in which you explain why his behavior bothers you. Be honest about how it affects you, and try to give him time if he finds it difficult to be emotionally vulnerable.
If you and your partner used to cuddle but no longer do this, there might be a few reasons for this:
1. Your partner might be dealing with stress
People cope with negative emotions in different ways. Some might crave affection to feel more supported, while others might become overly focused on what’s going on in their mind and neglect their partner’s needs in the process. If your partner is going through a difficult time, physical contact might be the last thing on his mind.
2. He doesn’t feel connected to you anymore
Sometimes a connection you once had with your partner suddenly fades away. However, it might be temporary so try not to jump to conclusions and talk to your partner before you let the resentment build up. Disconnection can come from disagreements that are easy to solve with an honest conversation.
3. He’s fallen out of love
Unfortunately, this is one of the possible scenarios because affection comes from feeling love towards a partner. If he doesn’t feel like the relationship is working anymore, he might spend less and less time with you. In the worst-case scenario, it might mean that he’s getting affection elsewhere.
4. He’s being passive-aggressive
Not everyone has the skills to solve problems in a mature way. He might pull away to indicate he’s upset with you. If that’s the case, it might mean that your communication styles don’t match.
References:
[1] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-014-0305-3